There you are! (sneaky little turd)
There you are! (sneaky little turd)
It's such a beautiful day here! Birds are chirping, squirrels are running around in trees, sunshine! It's warm enough that I was able to go out in just a t-shirt and my light autumn jacket (yeah, I wore pants too, you weirdos).
Walked down to the market to grab a few items and had to walk past a liquor store. And it hit me: this would be the perfect day to just relax and have a few drinks at home. I put in a good workout earlier, apartment is clean, laundry will be done soon and I have a great dinner planned for later. But you know what would be really good for dinner? Vodka! I have nowhere to be tonight or tomorrow, I could just pick this sobriety thing back up on Thursday. Really, I could! I actually played out the scenario in my mind, romancing the drink, I think it's called.
I skipped the liquor store, because I don't drink (), got home and immediately came here to SR. Read some stuff on here that reminded me of why I can't "just have a couple of drinks today". So, thanks for that SR!
Anyway, this is the first time my AV has really put up a fight in a couple of months. I didn't miss it. It's still nagging at me, but it won't do any good. I've worked too hard to give up that easy!
Thanks again, SR! Where would I be without this place?
Walked down to the market to grab a few items and had to walk past a liquor store. And it hit me: this would be the perfect day to just relax and have a few drinks at home. I put in a good workout earlier, apartment is clean, laundry will be done soon and I have a great dinner planned for later. But you know what would be really good for dinner? Vodka! I have nowhere to be tonight or tomorrow, I could just pick this sobriety thing back up on Thursday. Really, I could! I actually played out the scenario in my mind, romancing the drink, I think it's called.
I skipped the liquor store, because I don't drink (), got home and immediately came here to SR. Read some stuff on here that reminded me of why I can't "just have a couple of drinks today". So, thanks for that SR!
Anyway, this is the first time my AV has really put up a fight in a couple of months. I didn't miss it. It's still nagging at me, but it won't do any good. I've worked too hard to give up that easy!
Thanks again, SR! Where would I be without this place?
Yup. The sun shining, the tasks done, the breeze blowing, some distant music...
I also have those associations with happy spring drinking. What I have to remind myself is that the house wouldn't be clean, the bills wouldn't be paid, I wouldn't have worked out, the sense of peace & completion wouldn't even exist if I were not living inside recovery.
Plus, bottom line - if I started drinking to celebrate the sunshine, I'd be passed out in no time, missing the beautiful day, waking up disoriented in the middle of the night with that nasty taste in my mouth and the day lost to me forever...
I also have those associations with happy spring drinking. What I have to remind myself is that the house wouldn't be clean, the bills wouldn't be paid, I wouldn't have worked out, the sense of peace & completion wouldn't even exist if I were not living inside recovery.
Plus, bottom line - if I started drinking to celebrate the sunshine, I'd be passed out in no time, missing the beautiful day, waking up disoriented in the middle of the night with that nasty taste in my mouth and the day lost to me forever...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Great job SDH.
Today was a minefield for me as well. Been lurking/posting on here a lot just to keep my mind in the right place. Getting ready to leave my office shortly.
Got loads of offers from coworkers and clients to go out and drink. Had friends text me and ask what's up. It's amazing how easy it is to say that I'm just not drinking tonight and have stuff to do. Nobody seems to take offense.
My AV kept doing the same thing....it's early, if I drink now I'll be Ok by 9AM. Not very busy at work tomorrow. No plans tomorrow night......
Very happy I'm sober and I'm heading home to have some pasta and watch junk TV.
Today was a minefield for me as well. Been lurking/posting on here a lot just to keep my mind in the right place. Getting ready to leave my office shortly.
Got loads of offers from coworkers and clients to go out and drink. Had friends text me and ask what's up. It's amazing how easy it is to say that I'm just not drinking tonight and have stuff to do. Nobody seems to take offense.
My AV kept doing the same thing....it's early, if I drink now I'll be Ok by 9AM. Not very busy at work tomorrow. No plans tomorrow night......
Very happy I'm sober and I'm heading home to have some pasta and watch junk TV.
Yeah, it would have gotten pretty ugly had I picked up. Probably passed out by 8 or 9, wake up a couple hours later and drink some more. Wake up tomorrow feeling so lousy I'd decide to have a couple drinks to kill the hangover. Pass out again by 1 or 2 in the afternoon, wake up in the evening panicking that I have to work the next day. Then I'd tell myself the only way I'm going to get any sleep tonight is to drink some more. Trash my apartment, maybe fall down and break something/hurt myself. Show up (maybe) to work on Thursday with a bright red face, still reeking of booze. "I thought you quit drinking" they'd say.
It's good to be here writing this instead!
Rock on, my SR peeps!
It's good to be here writing this instead!
Rock on, my SR peeps!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Yeah I hear you..... the end of the party is never a pretty scene and the next day..... ugh sigh. It's all fun and games until you're puking and injured and broke and hate yourself and can't remember what kind of rubbish you were talking about.
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