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Breaking the spell : advice asked

Old 03-18-2015, 04:40 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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the funny thing about all of us who thought "we weren't as bad as those people" in AA is this;

we all went out and kept on going.... until we were.
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Old 03-18-2015, 04:43 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Bring the body and the mind will follow.
What does that mean? I heard that saying
a number of times thru out my recovery
and at first I never truly understood it.

The more I tried to figure it out the more
frustrated I got. Sooooo, I stopped racking
my brain and just did it. I continued to
follow direction and suggestions until one
day I understood the meaning of all those
important saying in recovery.

I suited up each day and brought my
body to meetings, open my ears, mind
and heart long enough to let things I
heard sink in.

The longer I followed in the footsteps
of many who learned how to remain sober
a many one days at a time themselves,
the longer I remained sober myself and
understood what addiction was, is and its
affects on my own mind, body and soul.

Once I stopped fighting and surrendered
to the process of recovery and remained
teachable then acceptance became the key
to open the door to my sober life living
happy, joyous and free one day at a time.
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Old 03-18-2015, 04:47 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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1. 44 years old when I put it down

2. I made sobriety my number one priority and did whatever I had to do in the beginning. No excuses. I even took time away from kids and work if I had to. I went to a lot of AA meetings, changed routines, stayed away from triggers, whatever.

3. Now I have found a routine in AA that is working for me. Good contacts, good meetings, etc... My life doesn't revolve around it as it seems to for some people but I believe in balance. I visit here often because it helps me remember what life was like and hopefully I can share experience. I've also been reading some books to help.

Best wishes that you find something that works for you.
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Old 03-18-2015, 05:55 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Thanks for all your replies. I recognise myself in all of them.

It needs to be this time. I'm frustrated with it. It's like when things are going right I self destruct.

I cannot get out of bed. I'm 3 days in bed. 3 days of not eating, apart from some toast. The place is a mess. I just feel a dead weight.

There's aa tonight or Friday. Not sure if I'd get to the one tonight. I need to get back to work. Or I'm fvcked. This is bad.
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Old 03-18-2015, 08:32 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I'm 33 and have known I was an alcoholic for about 4 years now.
I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. And the amount of money we spend drinking is ridiculous. At one point it was almost $500 a month. That's more than my car payment!
I'm so new to this alcoholism thing that I don't know exactly what will work in terms of maintaining sobriety. But I do know that I'm hard-headed and a brat and when I want something I get it and I've never wanted anything more in my life than to be sober.
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Old 03-18-2015, 08:43 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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1. What age did you manage to achieve sobriety? I'm 49 now and back to getting sober (on 35 days this time). Been trying on and off for about 4 years with increasing success. Each time I relapse I learn a bit more. Hopefully this time will be forever.
2. What did you do to achieve it? Was totally honest with myself about what drinking had done to my life (in terms of career, relationships, health, finances) and realised I wanted to enjoy the rest of my life.
3. What do you do to maintain it? Eat well (very important). Go the gym and move a lot in general (if I'm getting fidgety I just get up and go out for a walk). Read a lot.
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:36 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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A few months before I turned 55 I was taken from my job due to alcohol. I decided I was never gonna let alcohol affect my life again. I made the commitment to never drink again.
I was sent to rehab by my employer and did a couple months of aa meetings. When my "employer" determined I was better, they let me go.

I discovered SR a year ago. Have stuck around here since.
I also discovered AVRT. All I did was the "Crash Course". It was all I needed to do. That and log onto SR when I was craving in the early go of it. In two weeks I'll have fifteen months. Actually I spend too much time on SR I think. But spring is coming.
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Old 03-18-2015, 10:48 PM
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In my first ever meeting I think they saw someone who hadn't looked after themselves too well and emphasised HALT.

Hunger
Anger
Loneliness
Tired

These are four common triggers for alcoholics.

One of the first steps to getting better and learning a new responsibility for yourself and your drinking is in being watchful for those HALT triggers, and avoiding them wherever and whenever possible.

I would suggest getting to the first meeting possible, and in the meantime get some food in you to keep your blood-sugar levels up. (Lots of people swear by high sugar in the first few month, but I think that affected my emotional stability.) If you can't eat much at first maybe get some Lucozade Original in - the high glucose one - then you will hopefully feel more like eating shortly after. The meeting will help. I would say def don't isolate, as this won't help. I should imagine that after the meeting you will start feeling more positive and will be able to face work more easily. In the meantime make sure you contact them and don't burn any bridges, but if you haven't eaten then you're going to need to rest a little longer. Not bed rest though. Mind rest. I bet you'll feel much better and ready to face the world after a shower and fresh clothes. (Body first and mind will follow hey).

You can do this, but no-one can eat for you, or get to that meeting for you.

Get yourself an action plan, just for today. It is important to Keep It Simple, but it's also important to actually DO it.

EG.
Wash
Dress
Get food & non-alc drink (even if from an overpriced local store - and avoid walking past the booze if you can)
Have a small meal
Wash up
Go to meeting
Read through AA literature
Write action plan for tomorrow
Sleep


Good luck.
xx

PS - I'd say for first AA meeting, arrive about 10 mins early to the actual start time. And take some tissues (it can be quite overwhelming and lots of people have a few tears. Some people cry loads (I did).
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Old 03-19-2015, 07:54 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Let us know how it goes Crimson, We are all interested.
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Old 03-20-2015, 03:20 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Beccybean View Post
In my first ever meeting I think they saw someone who hadn't looked after themselves too well and emphasised HALT.

Hunger
Anger
Loneliness
Tired

These are four common triggers for alcoholics.

One of the first steps to getting better and learning a new responsibility for yourself and your drinking is in being watchful for those HALT triggers, and avoiding them wherever and whenever possible.

I would suggest getting to the first meeting possible, and in the meantime get some food in you to keep your blood-sugar levels up. (Lots of people swear by high sugar in the first few month, but I think that affected my emotional stability.) If you can't eat much at first maybe get some Lucozade Original in - the high glucose one - then you will hopefully feel more like eating shortly after. The meeting will help. I would say def don't isolate, as this won't help. I should imagine that after the meeting you will start feeling more positive and will be able to face work more easily. In the meantime make sure you contact them and don't burn any bridges, but if you haven't eaten then you're going to need to rest a little longer. Not bed rest though. Mind rest. I bet you'll feel much better and ready to face the world after a shower and fresh clothes. (Body first and mind will follow hey).

You can do this, but no-one can eat for you, or get to that meeting for you.

Get yourself an action plan, just for today. It is important to Keep It Simple, but it's also important to actually DO it.

EG.
Wash
Dress
Get food & non-alc drink (even if from an overpriced local store - and avoid walking past the booze if you can)
Have a small meal
Wash up
Go to meeting
Read through AA literature
Write action plan for tomorrow
Sleep


Good luck.
xx

PS - I'd say for first AA meeting, arrive about 10 mins early to the actual start time. And take some tissues (it can be quite overwhelming and lots of people have a few tears. Some people cry loads (I did).
Thanks! I kind of had a 'Roll over and die or get up and fight this bitch' moment. I got up and took a long, long, long shower.....then I scrubbed the place from top to bottom. Meeting would have been on at 7pm but I kept cleaning and then made a meal with what was there. I got a nice walk in which was shaky but good. Up for work the next day, out of sorts a little. Today felt better. I was going to the 7pm meeting tonight but....well boy and girl made up. Just when I accepted it was gone.

I bought a book for my kindle: Alcoholism to Recovery/ I'll Stop Tomorrow. I've been reading that and upon starting it I thought it was going to be waffle...but I've actually been surprised by the descriptions of alcoholic thought patterns. So accurate. Acceptance time. This isn't going away unless I take responsibility for it.

It's interesting you mention the HALT. The last two benders I was seriously lacking in food and in place of going for a nap as I was wrecked...I surfed on the net. Someone recently commented to me that I seem to be seriously affected by my physical state. If I don't eat every 2-3 hours my energy drops drastically and I make...errors.
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Old 03-20-2015, 05:52 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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1: finally quit for what I hope is for good at 40. I'm almost 43 now
2: I did whatever it took. I threw **** to the wall until something stuck. Had 6 months sober three times, then this time. Here's how it went: first time- at my partners urging, I visited a substance abuse counselor. Counselor said it's possible I'm an alcoholic, why not try to be sober for 6 months and see how it goes? I was, my life got better, I lost weight, joined a gym, then drank at 6 months and a day, thinking I was cured. (Spoiler alert: I wasn't cured)

Then I sobered up and relapsed a couple more times, and my partner threatened to leave me, and I went into an outpatient program. I sobered up for six months again.

I started to think I could cook with wine, and lo and behold it ended up in my belly. Thankfully that relapse lasted only two months.

Then, I did it all. Posted completely honestly on sr. Went back to counselor for a couple sessions. Went to aa. Got a sponsor. Worked those infernal steps. It took all of that, for me. I'm a slow learner. But I am soooo glad I did ever last bit of it. Well not the relapse part... You can do this!!

3: I stay involved with other alcoholics. I have a network of sober friends, most of whom I met on here but now also know in real life. I thank my higher power for every day and seek guidance because I've seen my way fail a boatload of times. I try my best to be honest all the time cause drunk wehav was a big fat liar.

I hope this helps you! Take care, wehav
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Old 03-20-2015, 06:00 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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The first time I got sober I was in my mid thirties. Stayed sober for twenty years, then fell off badly by drinking "a glass" of wine in the afternoon to take the edge off so I wouldn't get into it with youngest kid when she got home from HS. Within six months I was drinking all day, every day.

Got sober again over five years ago at age 59. I don't think I have any more lives left of my original nine... I am going to stay sober for the rest of my life!
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Old 03-20-2015, 06:37 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Three questions:

1. What age did you manage to achieve sobriety?

32. I had drank every night for about eight years, very heavily. About 12 units a night.

2. What did you do to achieve it?

It wasn't a choice really. I had organ damage diagnosed by a doctor. Hopefully it is reversible with complete abstinence. On a side note, alcohol can damage your body pretty quietly. I have never been hospitalized, jaundiced or anything. I went to the gym the same day I was diagnosed with inflamed organs. I could've been dead quick though.

3. What do you do to maintain it?

I want to live. I don't want to die. Drinking is not an option for me anymore. I check in here everyday. It helps me to "be okay" with a non-drinking life. I like it 95% of the time. The no hangover part is wonderful. However, I will admit that there are times when I think "why me?! Why can't I have fun like other people?" They pass quickly though.

Life is much, much easier and better without drinking. Lots of people don't drink. 30% of adults don't drink and 30% drink so little it's negligible, like a drink a month. I believe the other 30% maybe drink two or three a night. I would say less than 5-10 percent drink to serious excess.
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