Soberwolf

pour out any remaining alcohol and try and sleep this off tomorrow is a new day

Aellyce

Hi mystified. I could not do it either for years before I made a serious commitment and consistent (daily) efforts. I also tried to come here to SR sporadically, usually drunk, and then do nothing about it. Have you tried any form of very regular support, participation in a program, introducing changes in your life that you can turn into new routines? For me, the commitment and consistency made all the difference that just "did not want to happen" earlier. Get rid of that booze, sleep it off, and try something quite different from tomorrow. Many of us had success with that after lots of failures and you can, too.

FreeOwl

mystified, please don't take this as an attack - but what I'm hearing is rationalizations and excuses.

If you really want to stop - then go get help.

AA is there for you. It's free, it's available all over the world, it's filled with people who understand and it has a program that works. It's not the only answer, but it is an answer that involves taking action and getting support in doing so.

You can continue to say "I can't" and you can continue to list all of the reasons and rationalizations that seem to support that statement....

or you can get busy getting sober. It's your choice.

But if you keep on choosing "I can't", you won't.

anattaboy

Sleep it off. Tomorrow is another beginning.

thomas11

Mystified, allow me to offer a little different perspective. Your OP basically told a bunch of strangers that you simply can't stop and its too fricking hard. It may not be as simple as pouring it out and starting fresh tomorrow. It sounds like you are at point A, and its long darn ways to point B (sobriety). So maybe break it down into steps you can manage at first. Maybe taper, tough it out through withdrawal, seek medical attention, who knows but something that will turn the ship around and start heading back to port.

There is a some very inspirational stories over in the My Story section of this site. One sticks out in my mind where a gal had tried everything and just couldn't kick it. She was convinced that she would never be able to stop drinking. its a long story and I won't ruin it for you but she hasn't touched alcohol in well over a year. You CAN do it.

Fly N Buy

Glad you're here, hope you'll seek out the help you need. Yes, it's tough at first but get easier as we get some time. I couldn't ever gain much momentum on my own and had to seek outside support along with SR.

As it's St. Patrick's day I will share an Irish story....I suppose it doesn't have to be Irish, but it's my story and the man who passed was indeed Irish.

A man went to the funeral for the husband of a widow he knew many years before. He recalled that the departed had much trouble with the drink.
At the service the widow confided in the man - yes, it was the drink that surely got him.......

The man nodded and commented how sorry he was for the widow's loss. Yes, the drink gets many....poor Shamus
Did your husband ever try to stop? Did he ever go to AA for help or anywhere else???

The widow was aghast!!!
Oh my goodness no!!!



He wasn't that bad..........

Anna

Mystified, you can do it. You might need help from your dr or a therapist, but you can do it.

Get rid of the alcohol you have and get some rest. Know for sure that you can live a sober life.

JimdiGriz

Hi mystified.. The children can be pretty demanding.. I've got a 4 year old.. Only one and I'm exhausted.. But I'm also elated by him and it would be a shame if the children were blamed for your drinking.

I think if you can reduce or stop the alcohol then your stress levels will seriously reduce and all the anxiety and overload will disappear.

I'm only 5 days sober but it works like that for me..

PurpleKnight

Stopping drinking is the first step, pour what's left and go from there!!

We all started with a Day 1!! You can too, you can do this!!

tomsteve

What helped me get sober was wanting to get sober. Then what I was wanting to get sober for. Welp, I tried it for my job, my son, family, relationship...... Prolly some more reasons... And that didn't work.
But then I wanted to get sober for me because without me getting sober there was no job, no son,family,relationship,etc in my life.

It sure as hell wasn't easy getting sober. I had many days it was down to one minute at a time. But one of the great blessings I was given was that I finally got it from my head to my heart that alcohol was the common denominator in all my problems and it never helped anything and wasn't going to.
So I went to meetings, worked hard at doing what the BB of AA suggested, prayed my arse off( think I might have even prayed to not let my arse fall off), went to meetings, did what the BB said, prayed, repeat.
Getting sober was the hardest thing I have ever done. I had some seriously hard one minutes at a times. But another blessing:
The people I saw at meetings. I Knew they had been in my shoes, and not the drinking part, but the thinking. They knew exactly where I was when I got into AA. Many of them people I put trust in went waaaaay further down the scale than me. And how crazy to trust people I never met!!!!
But it worked!!!!!!! The craving,compulsion, and obsession to drink was removed!
Staying sober has been easy.

If you decide you want to get sober and are willing to do whatever is necessary to do it, you can get sober,too.

ru12

Mystified, have you had enough yet? Are you done drinking? I'm not trying to be an a$$ here...I just found that I couldn't stay stopped until I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I have kids and s spouse and a job and a mortgage and car payments and ... I understand the stress. But it is a so much easily managed sober and without all the guilt and self-hate that drinking brings. You are worth a sober life.

Dee74

You can do mystified. If I can anyone can

I just had to get over my fear of getting sober and the changes that would bring.
Accept that there will be changes but they will be for the better.

You can have a great life for you and your kids. The first step is putting down the bottle

D

JoeCree

i just want to chime in that not all alcoholics are "binge" drinking. Daily drinking is bad enough (for me) that is. I like to point this out because as this disease is progressive i think it is important for people to recognize and act upon earlier to achieve sobriety.

Inchworm

Hi and welcome, mystified. Lots of folks, including me, were just as mystified about how to quit the drink. You just DO it! the answers to a lot of things come clearer later. I didn't even know what a "sober living plan" was when I quit 6 months ago. We are here for you, dear.

LBrain

the fear of getting sober... I can relate to that

fini

mystified,

what helps me when i can't, just CAN't as in absolutely CANNOT! is to switch to the other side, so to speak.
i look at what i CAN do. even if i sit and say "okay i can just barely...."

the amount of things we can do, even if just barely, is mindblowing.

can not go buy the stuff.
can hang out at SR.
can make a cup of tea.
can take the kids for a walk.
can read them a story.
can make something to eat.
can phone someone.
can ask for help.


not drinking is backed up by a whole bunch of "little can's".

Deckard

Building on fini's post:

Stephen R. Covey has contrasted reactive and proactive language.

Reactive language:
There's nothing I can do
That's just the way I am
He makes me so mad.
They won't allow that.
I have to do that.
I can't.
I must.
If only.

Proactive language:
Let's look at the alternatives.
I can choose a different approach.
I control my own feelings.
I can create an effective presentation.
I will choose an appropriate response.
I choose.
I prefer.
I will.

"A serious problem with reactive language is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. People become reinforced in the paradigm that they are determined, and they produce evidence to support the belief. They feel increasingly victimized and out of control, not in charge of their life or their destiny."

mystified

Thank you everyone.

Just thank you.

needtostopthis

You sound a lot like me. I am an alcoholic, I can drink a lot but I drink about every 2-3 days. I can go longer but I usually can't. Of course this time I am going to give it my best. Anyway I know how hard it is, well kind of, I mean I only have one child. He is 5 but he has PDD, a sensory disorder sort of like autism, which is very hard for me to deal with. having 3 I know you have your hands full. I am also OCD, GAD and depressed as well. I have a hard time just as u do with admitting that I am struggling. I just push and push ands wear myself out and that in turns makes me want to drink. Anyway if you need someone to talk to, pm me. You are not alone, believe me.

IOAA2

This is the way it works IF AND WHEN we work it.
Scary yes but far less than the results of continued drinking.

Just think of the loss of your children for starters.

Just a fact.

BE WELL