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Ready to quit. What to expect

Old 03-17-2015, 07:32 AM
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Ready to quit. What to expect

Hi, I'm new to the website and looking for some advice from those of you who have successfully sobered up. Bear with me as I have a lot of questions and a huge need for reassurance.
Firstly, my husband and I are both high functioning alcoholics. The most I have drank in a 24 hour period would be 6 25oz beers with a content percentage of 5.5% and 10 shots of vodka. My husband has drank as many as 10 of the same beers and an equal number of shots. Again, that is the most. Typically it is more like 5 shots each and 2 25oz beers where he will have 4 beers.
The reason I'm sharing is because we both agreed and realized we've gotten out of control and we were going to quit. I've been feeling the urgency for months now and he's finally feeling it. Last night we drank a little less. I had 2 beers, he had 3 and we each only had 4 shots. Tonight, the plan is to take one less shot and the same amount of beer.
Here's where it gets scary. I have an irrational fear of the unknown (I have all my life) and I'm TERRIFIED of the withdrawl symptoms. I've attempted to quit cold turkey before and I experienced headache, nausea, rapid heart beat and anxiety. The part that terrifies me is my heart. Before I drank on a regular basis I would have to visit the hospital on several occasions for a resting heart rate of 180 or higher. The cause is an irregular heartbeat. At any rate, I am very afraid that withdrawl may kill me. But I know continuing to drink will as well.
Any advice, encouragement or tips? I can only speak for myself when I say I want to quit SO BADLY. I have never wanted anything this badly. This is my life, I don't want to destroy it and the lives of my children in the process or, worse, lose it.
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Old 03-17-2015, 07:45 AM
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Old 03-17-2015, 08:08 AM
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Old 03-17-2015, 08:35 AM
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Many have found a program of recovery
as a solution to help them, including myself
to remain sober for a many one days at a
time.

Educating ourselves about our addiction
and its affects on us as individuals is also
important. Learning how a drug, alcohol
affects our in sides, our minds and hearts.

I tried to stop the craziness and insanity
of drinking poison by myself so many times
and failed so many times calling myself a
failure, something is wrong with me, im
stupid, you get the point......when as long
as I had poison in my system and no education
on this drug in my system, it was a wonder
I tried to end my life.

That was 24 yrs ago when family intervened
on me sending me into the hands of those
who were knowledgeable about addiction
so that I could learn how not to drink or
try and kill myself using a program of recovery
to guide me along in my everyday life.

28 days in rehab was a good start for me
to allow the poison to leave my system and
become willing and openminded to learning
about my addiction and to receive healthy
ways to live life without it.

Once I returned home, that safety net was
not there any longer. The safety net of a
secured place where I could not reach for
alcohol when I became restless, irritable,
discontent, hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

I had to use the knowledge and suggestions
of what was taught to me each day so that
I could and would remain sober each day of
my life.

I went to AA meetings because that was
the program that was taught to me in rehab.
I listened, learned, aborbed and applied
what others had learned themselves in
order to remain sober for as many days
as they had. I quietly followed in their
footsteps clinging on quietly each day
until I not only needed to go to meetings
and remain sober but because I absolutely
wanted it.

Here I am 24 yrs sober and yes I still
want to remain sober no matter what.
Yes, life still tried to throw me curve balls
to trick me up and am absolutely grateful
for SR and AA to keep me from wanting to
reach for a quick fix of alcohol that would
only drive me back to the insanity of drinking
or wanting to end my life.

AA and SR are my lifelines to living life
on lifes terms. What was taught to me
over the yrs, I graciously pass on that
knowledge to you and others just beginning
your journey in life without poison or drugs.

The result of remaining sober is being blessed
with living a sober, healthy, happy, responsible,
life enjoying the Promises granted to us as
written in the Big Book of AA I learned 24 yrs
ago.
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Old 03-17-2015, 08:44 AM
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Welcome to the forum. I did hospital detox the first time I sobered up and the scariest part was Admitting I needed to stop. If you are worried about the withdrawal, see your doctor. And be completely honest about how much and how often you are drinking. Six 24 ounce beers and five to ten shots is a lot. A doctor can help.

Stick around, read and post. Welcome!
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Old 03-17-2015, 08:47 AM
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Welcome its nice to meet you FA
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Old 03-17-2015, 08:52 AM
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Welcome to SR. I think the decision to quit drinking is a wise one.

Originally Posted by FallenAngel29 View Post
I have an irrational fear of the unknown (I have all my life) and I'm TERRIFIED of the withdrawl symptoms.
I will echo what Ruby2 said, if you have a fear of withdrawals, do the rational thing and see your doctor...don't do the irrational thing and continue drinking.
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Old 03-17-2015, 09:16 AM
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I agree with the above 2 posts. If you have heart arrhythmia, and have been drinking that much daily for an extended period of time, I wouldn't mess with it at home. I'd schedule a doctor visit and take it from there. Great job on a making a great decision.
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Old 03-17-2015, 09:23 AM
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Welcome to SR! I also agree with the above posts in regard to medical assistance. Having an irrational fear of the unknown is not uncommon, however, having a rational fear of continuing to drink would be very wise. Obviously you have come to that conclusion on your own
As for the unknown? Life, for me anyway, is much less frightening since I got sober. The unknown can be truly amazing and fearing that first step to discovering what is around the corner keeps many of us unhappily continuing the path of destruction we have been on.
Talk to your doctor, please. I wish you much success on your journey to sobriety, your husband as well. Keep posting and let us know how you are faring.
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Old 03-17-2015, 09:35 AM
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Welcome FallenAngel
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Old 03-17-2015, 09:56 AM
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First, congrats on making the decision. Now follow through. Tapering is by far the safest on the body but you should find a doctor who will help. If your regular doc is not familiar with alcohol WD, find one that is. Most want to give benzo's with little follow-up or a strict taper schedule for those. In your case I would be wary with the heart thing. I tapered at home and had few WD's. I kept a pretty strict schedule and felt really good after a week--that's when it takes strength and not believe that voice that sez "it wasn't really that bad" and stick to your zero day. 2 weeks and I only had sketchy sleep for a few nights. I was up to 30-45 units per day so it's definitely do-able. The good news is sobriety is just as progressive as alcoholism. Best wishes on your hubby and you kicking alcohol to the curb forever.
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Old 03-17-2015, 10:21 AM
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Old 03-17-2015, 10:49 AM
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welcome FA.

Hope to see you around the board. You can do this.
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Old 03-17-2015, 07:29 PM
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Thank you all for being so welcoming. I have to say that I think I'm just being paranoid and that I REALLY CAN do this. About a month ago my husband got bronchitis and neither of us drank for a solid week. He couldn't and I chose not to bc he wasn't able. With that supportive mind frame I had ZERO withdrawal symptoms except being a little grumpy. I think knowing we're at the end of our rope is the scary part. Today I've had 4 vodka shots and one beer. I don't plan on having any more as, physically, I'm doing okay. I don't chase that drunk but I also don't want to suffer at all. I'm so new to all of this. I feel crippled. TIA for any advice. I just want to be free from this vice.
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Old 03-17-2015, 08:29 PM
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I drank about the same amount as you every night. When I stopped, I didn't feel any worse than I had every single day for the past few years. High BP, a little shaky, sweaty, irritable, insomnia. So, stopping was no worse than continuing if that makes sense.
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Old 03-17-2015, 08:51 PM
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Welcome FA -- great job on your determination! I agree with those who've recommended talking to your doctor if only because of the heart arrhythmia. Otherwise I think the most important thing is that once you quit, you stay quit! For most people, that involves making some plans for how not to backslide the first time a craving hits you. Stay close to SR and you'll learn a lot about living sober.
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Old 03-17-2015, 09:19 PM
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Originally Posted by FallenAngel29 View Post
Thank you all for being so welcoming. I have to say that I think I'm just being paranoid and that I REALLY CAN do this.
I thought, very objectively, that I would never actually stop drinking. I saw all the other people on here who had stopped and figured they had something in them that I just didn't have. My resolve lasted until 5 pm and then I was drinking again, even with the best intentions of not drinking that night.

Two things that changed for me:

1. I gave up the idea that I would ever drink again. In all of my failed attempts in the past I had this secret thought that maybe I'd sneak a couple on New Years 2018. Keeping my options open, right? Nope. I was finally able to stop when I was OKAY with never drinking again, even on New Years, 2018.

2. That said, now it's going to sound like I'm contradicting myself, but hear me out. I had to also stay in the day. "I will not drink today." I made that my highest priority in life. Go to work. Don't drink. My two rules I lived by. Food became a temporary crutch but I was totally okay with that. One night after a particularly bad night with insomnia, maybe a few weeks in, I made nachos for breakfast. Why? Why not!

3. Check in here every day. Every day. I had a lot of time on my hands when I stopped drinking. What's a few hours a day reading on here? I read thousands of posts, some from five or seven years ago.

Please believe me. You can do this. I thought I was hopeless but I'm nine months from my last drink and as hard as this is to believe, I don't even miss it. The first thing that comes to my mind when I see alcohol is a debilitating hangover.
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Old 03-18-2015, 06:46 AM
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Thank you all so much! Melinda Flowers, I'm so glad you chose to reply to my post as I feel we have very much the same mindset. I think the hardest thing for me is wrapping my head around the fact that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. My mom married one then divorced him four years later. Every night, from 5 years old to 9 years old, (while my mother worked) I'd watch him drink himself to sleep. It put my younger brother and I in some dangerous situations. That is what an alcoholic looked like to me. Just because I'm high functioning and can still take care of my children and put them to bed every night doesn't make me any less of an alcoholic. It took me some time to realize that. The other night my husband and I weren't going to drink at all. As I'm cooking dinner he tells me he's having withdrawls. The look in his eyes was pure shame. But what really broke my heart was when he said "I can't believe we let it get this far."
Also, the hard part of my actually seeing that I'm an alcoholic is that I used to drink very rarely and I typically don't have an addictive personality. I could go months without even thinking about drinking and when I did I would have a couple and not care to continue. I think my alcoholism started when I was married to my son's father. He is a recovering alcoholic (he wasn't then though) and abusive. When he'd drink, he made sure I'd drink too because if I wasn't I was "judging him" and it was just easier to drink and avoid that beating. Well, here we are 6 years later and I can't think of a single day that I haven't drank since then. I'd even hide it from my significant other (before my husband) and drink at work. I was REALLY pathetic there for awhile.
One thing that I know that will help me not drink once I quit is that I have to get into therapy to try to figure out, emotionally and psychologically, why I felt it necessary to drink. Seeing what it's done to my husband is my main motivation to quit. And seeing all the things we neglect (kids, housework, pets) is also right up there. We only do the bare minimum and that is not how I was raised and my kids don't deserve any less.
Sorry about the long post. I just had a lot on my heart. Thank you again for all you members are doing here. I can't wait to have a success story of my own.
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Old 03-18-2015, 09:11 AM
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You will have success story of your own. Thank you for this and it's okay that it's long. I read the whole thing and it brought me comfort in my own decision.

Especially what you wrote about doing the bare minimum. I was coasting along doing the least I could and my kids didn't deserve that. Now I'm there all the time and it feels good.
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Old 03-18-2015, 09:15 AM
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Here's my concise answer:

At first it sucked.
Now it's awesome.
I'll never go back.
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