Third Time Lucky...??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Devon, UK
Posts: 2
Third Time Lucky...??
Hello,
I've been addicted to N+ for 6 years now. I know all the pharmacists in the area, I know their shift patterns, lunch breaks, who cares and who doesn't. My life is regimented by how many little white tablets I have in the house at any one time.
I take 30 (12.8mg Codeine + 200mg Ibuprofen each) every morning and 30 every night.
Taking the pills cost me a great job and got me arrested three years ago, I have stomach ulcers, I've lost 6 stone, I throw up daily and my teeth are starting to fall out - but I still take them!
Last year I tried Cold Turkey and lasted one week before returning to 60 pills a day and "normality".
January 1st this year I was determined to finish the pills for good and did another Cold Turkey. But by Day 14 there was just no improvement! The sweating and lack of sleep were as bad as ever and I started to panic that there was something ELSE wrong with me. I took the pills again and resumed feeling "normal" but I HATE myself, because I'm guessing it couldn't have lasted much longer? Maybe that day 15 would have been the day I started to feel better.
Knowing how LONG my withdrawal is going to last, really scares me. I have to pretend I have Flu to my family because no-one knows about my addiction.
I've been inspired by some of the Posters here to give it one last try.
My internal bleeding is so bad that I'm permanently anaemic now. I have a blood test on Thursday morning and the Doctor is checking for Ibuprofen (because I presume she suspects I might be taking things I shouldn't be as I have a history of ulcers) I have sworn I don't take ibuprofen because I don't want the doctors involved, but maybe I SHOULD ask for medical help, if only to be able to access help for the withdrawal and sleeping? But I'm so mortified, because she'll know I've done all this to myself which is insane!
So, I've taken my last 30 tablets this morning (Tuesday) and am geared up to take no more. Does anyone know how long the Ibuprofen will stay in my blood for? Will it be detected in a blood test on Thursday - in about 40 hours?
I know that tonight is the last decent nights sleep I'll get for weeks and I could cry just thinking about it but I SOOOOO BADLY want to be free of these things. To not be ruled by tablets. To not have to spend so much money on them - £100 a week!!!!
I expect I'll whinge a lot, so feel free to shout at me, but I'll be posting regularly if only to reassure myself I'm not going mad.
Thanks for listening. Sorry for such a lengthy first post.
I've been addicted to N+ for 6 years now. I know all the pharmacists in the area, I know their shift patterns, lunch breaks, who cares and who doesn't. My life is regimented by how many little white tablets I have in the house at any one time.
I take 30 (12.8mg Codeine + 200mg Ibuprofen each) every morning and 30 every night.
Taking the pills cost me a great job and got me arrested three years ago, I have stomach ulcers, I've lost 6 stone, I throw up daily and my teeth are starting to fall out - but I still take them!
Last year I tried Cold Turkey and lasted one week before returning to 60 pills a day and "normality".
January 1st this year I was determined to finish the pills for good and did another Cold Turkey. But by Day 14 there was just no improvement! The sweating and lack of sleep were as bad as ever and I started to panic that there was something ELSE wrong with me. I took the pills again and resumed feeling "normal" but I HATE myself, because I'm guessing it couldn't have lasted much longer? Maybe that day 15 would have been the day I started to feel better.
Knowing how LONG my withdrawal is going to last, really scares me. I have to pretend I have Flu to my family because no-one knows about my addiction.
I've been inspired by some of the Posters here to give it one last try.
My internal bleeding is so bad that I'm permanently anaemic now. I have a blood test on Thursday morning and the Doctor is checking for Ibuprofen (because I presume she suspects I might be taking things I shouldn't be as I have a history of ulcers) I have sworn I don't take ibuprofen because I don't want the doctors involved, but maybe I SHOULD ask for medical help, if only to be able to access help for the withdrawal and sleeping? But I'm so mortified, because she'll know I've done all this to myself which is insane!
So, I've taken my last 30 tablets this morning (Tuesday) and am geared up to take no more. Does anyone know how long the Ibuprofen will stay in my blood for? Will it be detected in a blood test on Thursday - in about 40 hours?
I know that tonight is the last decent nights sleep I'll get for weeks and I could cry just thinking about it but I SOOOOO BADLY want to be free of these things. To not be ruled by tablets. To not have to spend so much money on them - £100 a week!!!!
I expect I'll whinge a lot, so feel free to shout at me, but I'll be posting regularly if only to reassure myself I'm not going mad.
Thanks for listening. Sorry for such a lengthy first post.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome Scoobly. Its certainly scary but the only solution is to be 100% honest with your doctor. The medical issues you describe are extremely serious and need immediate attention, glad you are going for a checkup on thursday. Don't be afraid to seek urgent care if you need it sooner.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by scoobly 
I expect I'll whinge a lot, so feel free to shout at me, but I'll be posting regularly if only to reassure myself I'm not going mad.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Scoobly....I'm so glad you're here and seeking help!
Please, and I can't stress this enough, PLEASE come clean with your dr! I am a former pill addict and a nurse, and I will tell you that what you are dealing with is serious! This isn't something to play around with and at this point, trying to hide your ibuprofen use from your dr is the least of your worries!
Please, and I can't stress this enough, PLEASE come clean with your dr! I am a former pill addict and a nurse, and I will tell you that what you are dealing with is serious! This isn't something to play around with and at this point, trying to hide your ibuprofen use from your dr is the least of your worries!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
I don't know what N+ is, but anything that you are taking in that volume has transcended psychological addiction and is now part of your physical body functioning! Please go to the doctor, confess EVERYTHING, and throw yourself on the mercy of the universe!
We talk a lot in the 12 step programs about surrendering. I think you are in a moment of surrender. What you describe is the body teetering right on the edge of death. You will die if you continue for much longer. Why not surrender? Surrender to the "official helpers" who work at the hospital. Let them care for you and heal you. You have nothing to lose if you are about to die anyway!
I send a prayer and some hopefulness your way. Third time is a charm, right, and you picked a very lucky day to begin! Our beginning happens when we decide it is happening.
Don't try to detox alone! Call a friend or family member, tell them the truth, have them come over and get you and take you to the emergency room. When you get there, just breathe and tell the truth. That is all that is required of you today...the rest will just happen...
We talk a lot in the 12 step programs about surrendering. I think you are in a moment of surrender. What you describe is the body teetering right on the edge of death. You will die if you continue for much longer. Why not surrender? Surrender to the "official helpers" who work at the hospital. Let them care for you and heal you. You have nothing to lose if you are about to die anyway!
I send a prayer and some hopefulness your way. Third time is a charm, right, and you picked a very lucky day to begin! Our beginning happens when we decide it is happening.
Don't try to detox alone! Call a friend or family member, tell them the truth, have them come over and get you and take you to the emergency room. When you get there, just breathe and tell the truth. That is all that is required of you today...the rest will just happen...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,346
Please do come clean to your doctor - if you have internal bleeding you need professional help Scoobly.
I know it's scary but coming clean just may be the way off this roller coaster?
Wishing you the best
D
I know it's scary but coming clean just may be the way off this roller coaster?
Wishing you the best
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Devon, UK
Posts: 2
Thanks all. This is a warm and friendly place.
Great night last night but I woke in a panic this morning knowing there was no codeine in the house. I was determined to ride it out until my blood test tomorrow morning but then STUFF happened.
Found myself in the car, then in the chemist. Then back in the car swallowing 24 tablets just to take the panic away.
So that's it now - the ibuprofen will appear in my blood tests tomorrow and I will be summoned to explain myself. It will be my opportunity to tell someone this enormous, destructive secret and plead for help. In fact, it's not so much help I'm after, it's support I think. I dread the GP being furious, looking back through my notes at the various expensive procedures I've had done, realise I've lied throughout and NOT wanting to help me. That's how I would feel if I were the GP - I'd want to throttle me and point out the waste of life and money and time I've caused myself.
Then it'll be all over my notes, and the lovely, lovely nurses at the hospital where I go for my Iron Infusions will also know and will treat me like scum, because they will also realise it's all my fault.
The thought of the disgust in the medics faces is MUCH worse than the knowing looks I get from the local chemists when I'm buying yet another box of "the usual tablets"...
Sorry.
Great night last night but I woke in a panic this morning knowing there was no codeine in the house. I was determined to ride it out until my blood test tomorrow morning but then STUFF happened.
Found myself in the car, then in the chemist. Then back in the car swallowing 24 tablets just to take the panic away.
So that's it now - the ibuprofen will appear in my blood tests tomorrow and I will be summoned to explain myself. It will be my opportunity to tell someone this enormous, destructive secret and plead for help. In fact, it's not so much help I'm after, it's support I think. I dread the GP being furious, looking back through my notes at the various expensive procedures I've had done, realise I've lied throughout and NOT wanting to help me. That's how I would feel if I were the GP - I'd want to throttle me and point out the waste of life and money and time I've caused myself.
Then it'll be all over my notes, and the lovely, lovely nurses at the hospital where I go for my Iron Infusions will also know and will treat me like scum, because they will also realise it's all my fault.
The thought of the disgust in the medics faces is MUCH worse than the knowing looks I get from the local chemists when I'm buying yet another box of "the usual tablets"...
Sorry.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
you really shouldn't worry about what the doctor thinks. even in america they are getting hip to the issues of addiction. throw away this reason for hesitation. they've seen it before. they've been trained to help.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
