Seriously pissed but not drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Seriously pissed but not drinking
I swear sometimes I feel as if I'm being tested. I have 3 weeks currently sober. Not sure by who but just in general. For some background...Been with the wife for 8 years. Have been married for 5. She has a child from her previous so met him around when he was just about to turn 4. So 2 tasks that hes responsible for are throwing out the trash and making sure he gets up in the morning for school. He can't do either. So today he's asking his mom for money to but some game app on his phone. Mom says not today...I say how about you can start doing what you said you would like throw out the trash and make sure your alarm is set. He starts crying (which I didnt know at the time). So we go to the store everything is going good and she drops on me the " you need to be nicer to him...the way you talk is either your on his case or you're ignoring him. WTH is my response.
Gets deeper...but I'll just leave it at that. I'm so enraged right now because one I kid you not...it's either I'm not doing something or I'm not doing enough of it. He's the most sensitive kid I've ever met. I mean literally you can say hey did you do your homework yet and he could be on the verge of tears. I'm the complete opposite. I asked her...why is it your'e getting on my case about not having a balance with him, but at the same time you can't see what he himself isn't doing. Two very simple things....I don't reward disobedience or me having to repeat myself 10 times to get things done.
One week I'm doing great she sees me trying than now I have no balance when dealing with the kid. I honestly hate dealing with kids in general and dealing with a stepchild is even worse. I'm going for a bike ride to blow off some very hot steam instead of tossing back a few.
Talk to you guys later!
Gets deeper...but I'll just leave it at that. I'm so enraged right now because one I kid you not...it's either I'm not doing something or I'm not doing enough of it. He's the most sensitive kid I've ever met. I mean literally you can say hey did you do your homework yet and he could be on the verge of tears. I'm the complete opposite. I asked her...why is it your'e getting on my case about not having a balance with him, but at the same time you can't see what he himself isn't doing. Two very simple things....I don't reward disobedience or me having to repeat myself 10 times to get things done.
One week I'm doing great she sees me trying than now I have no balance when dealing with the kid. I honestly hate dealing with kids in general and dealing with a stepchild is even worse. I'm going for a bike ride to blow off some very hot steam instead of tossing back a few.
Talk to you guys later!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
When you stop steaming, maybe this is a good opportunity to sit down calmly with your wife and talk about the difference in your parenting styles and expectations?
Communication helps most things I find?
D
Communication helps most things I find?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Originally Posted by Dee74 
When you stop steaming, maybe this is a good opportunity to sit down calmly with your wife and talk about the difference in your parenting styles and expectations?
Communication helps most things I find?
D
Communication helps most things I find?
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Like I said in your other thread I found myself a lot more peaceful after some sober time...
the things that mattered, and the things that would irritate me no end, kinda changed, y'know?
D
the things that mattered, and the things that would irritate me no end, kinda changed, y'know?
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I find myself very easily agitated
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi getright, so glad you're riding instead of drinking, well done.
Your own teen children are hard enough, much less someone else's. This is the only childhood he'll ever have, and if he's tearing up so readily it sounds like he's having a hard time (not saying it's your fault) and may be depressed.
Why not try doing some enjoyable guy stuff with him alone, like a ride every Sunday or paintball etc. just to get to know him in a non-pressure (and non-competitive) situation. You're a guy, you know you don't have to talk a lot to communicate, so doing something where you're both occupied is good. Just you two though, without Mum.
As a family you might also benefit from some family therapy. Lots of step-families do it.
Your own teen children are hard enough, much less someone else's. This is the only childhood he'll ever have, and if he's tearing up so readily it sounds like he's having a hard time (not saying it's your fault) and may be depressed.
Why not try doing some enjoyable guy stuff with him alone, like a ride every Sunday or paintball etc. just to get to know him in a non-pressure (and non-competitive) situation. You're a guy, you know you don't have to talk a lot to communicate, so doing something where you're both occupied is good. Just you two though, without Mum.
As a family you might also benefit from some family therapy. Lots of step-families do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Originally Posted by least
Part of that is likely that you're still early in recovery, when emotions can be all over the map. I'm glad you have a counselor to talk to and get feedback from. Anger can be a scary emotion. I had an ex who would throw things and yell. Then he started throwing me and yelling. Anger scares me. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Originally Posted by FeelingGreat
Hi getright, so glad you're riding instead of drinking, well done.
Your own teen children are hard enough, much less someone else's. This is the only childhood he'll ever have, and if he's tearing up so readily it sounds like he's having a hard time (not saying it's your fault) and may be depressed.
Why not try doing some enjoyable guy stuff with him alone, like a ride every Sunday or paintball etc. just to get to know him in a non-pressure (and non-competitive) situation. You're a guy, you know you don't have to talk a lot to communicate, so doing something where you're both occupied is good. Just you two though, without Mum.
As a family you might also benefit from some family therapy. Lots of step-families do it.
Your own teen children are hard enough, much less someone else's. This is the only childhood he'll ever have, and if he's tearing up so readily it sounds like he's having a hard time (not saying it's your fault) and may be depressed.
Why not try doing some enjoyable guy stuff with him alone, like a ride every Sunday or paintball etc. just to get to know him in a non-pressure (and non-competitive) situation. You're a guy, you know you don't have to talk a lot to communicate, so doing something where you're both occupied is good. Just you two though, without Mum.
As a family you might also benefit from some family therapy. Lots of step-families do it.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Originally Posted by getright15
Been thinking about that. I owe him a movie or 2. I'll invite him on a ride with me.
I had a BF who took my son for a ride and my son came back looking like a limp rag. Luckily he's not all that sensitive.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
