BeefLV99

Hey everyone. I've been doing well, just getting through my first 30 days.

I've been friends with a co-worker for about a year now. We've hung out several times over that span. Mostly in groups......happy hour type stuff and what not on Fridays. Couple of beers and appetizers. We work together in healthcare managent for a large healthcare system. No rules against dating although its recommended you try to refrain. If you choose to date, its best to make sure you know how to separate personal and professional. We're both really good at that. Anyways, lately its stepped up a notch and just the two of us have been spending time together. She knows I stopped drinking although i've never given her the true reson. I'm big into crossfit and ive been telling her and some others that i'm just training hard and trying to lose my gut. We were out playing golf together over the weekend and when we stopped at the turn she asked if i wanted a beer from the snack bar. I replied no im still not drinking. She remembered and then she grabbed me a gatorade instead. When we were driving to the next tee, she asked me how long I was planning on staying away from alcohol. I replied and said ive been losing weight and feeling really energized all the time, i may stay off for good. Shes extremely fun to be with and we share a lot of common interests, hobbies, goals, etc. Both of us no kids, never married, young with good careers.

Anyways, it got me thinking and I was wondering if at what point do i disclose to her that ive struggled with alcohol addiction? Mostly weekend binge drinking. Some of that may be due to the fact im single and 30 in vegas but i know for myself I did take it to the next extreme. I dont want to scare her off because ive only been sober 30 days and she may fear that this is not the right situation. Then again, its not something i can just pass as "i dont drink anymore". Ive had DUIs, too many of my buddies and i have our drunk stories, family drunk stories, etc. Eventually shes going to find out I used to party hard. I dont want to get to far down the line and then have her thinking i lied to her all along about my reasons for not drinking.

Im thinking its time to just lay it out there that while it is about losing weight and being healthy, I also had a bit of a problem and im just turning over a new leaf now that Im 30 years old.

Mountainmanbob

All have seen it somewhere.
Wouldn't at this time tell her I'm alcoholic.
But, I would let her know that,
you seem to be at your best when not drinking.

As they say in AA
more shall be revealed.

MM

thomas11

I'm not going to give you advice, but I can share my experience with you. Years ago I got my first real job at a multi national corporation here in Minnesota. I was just starting to "grow up", I had lived like a maniac in my 20's and I was 29 I believe. In my effort to grow up I was a straight shooter all week long. I tried to be very professional at work as it was a pretty formal setting, had to have a college degree etc...I NEVER went out with coworkers for a beer after work. Primarily because I didn't' trust myself. But on the weekends I was pretty much back with my wild friends, you know how it is. Anyway, what I am getting at is there was a girl where I worked who was just incredible. Very professional, educated, volunteered to help kids in the summer time. We got along great at work and I think we both knew we were interested in each other. She was very traditional and I had heard she would like me to ask her out. In the end I never did, and I kind of regret it. But I had a very good reason to not ask her out, if she ever found out what I could be like outside of work, it would have been over, immediately. I was smart enough to know that I didn't want to do that to her, or myself. IF, and that's a big if, I would have been like you and quit drinking and being stupid, I would have been confident enough to ask her out and who knows what would have happened. In the end it was a blown opportunity to go out with an absolutely wonderful person, but the problem was on my end, not hers.
I guess my point is, once you feel you can trust yourself, maybe then it would be time to fill her in. But I agree with MMBob, you can simply tell her you at your best when not drinking.