Spring is hear and I'm craving
 

Hi, guys.

It's been a while. I've been working the steps and going to meetings on an almost daily basis. My sponsor is great.

But I've been feeling funny these past couple of days. Spring is coming and, with it, some pretty strong inclinations to start drinking. I noticed that some of my neighbors where outside around a fire and drinking. I'm used to joining them and spending all night hanging out and drinking beer. This is the first year that I can't!

I feel miserable. I want to be a part of their celebration! I'm going to call my sponsor after posting thing, but I'd appreciate any support ya'll have to offer!

-Lisa

Try and think about what happens when you drink Lisa - it's never a genteel few drinks around a fire...for people like us, it's always much much more...

Don't let yourself start romancing the drink...go back to your old posts if you need to - there was no romance there...

D

Yes, Dee is right. If it was as nice as you are fantasizing, then you wouldn't be here. It's good that you are noticing you're feeling off as the season changes and that you're being proactive.

I agree with Dee. A few innocent beers with neighbors would turn into me blacking out, waking up with bruises on my shins as I apparently fell up the stairs on my way to bed.

Re-enter shame, remorse and humiliation in my life? No thanks. I no longer see death when I look on the mirror.

I am not trying to make this post about me, but trying to let you know I understand. I fantasize. Warm weather with a beer in hand sounds amazing, until I remind myself where that road always leads. Remind yourself of the same thing and stay strong.

Lisa,

I totally understand what you mean. I went on vacation to Vegas just over a week and the weather there was 75 degrees and sunny. I went on a week long bender while I was there and came home determined to start again but really commit this time. I live in Chicago and was actually looking forward to the cold, but instead it's 73 here today and all I can imagine is sitting outside with a drink to relax.

Then I remember I only wanted to drink a margarita laying out by the pool in Vegas as well (instead I got smashed and lost all my money at the casinos...) It's been helping me to remember that if I stay sober this spring and summer, even though I might long for a drink, next spring and summer I might not want one as badly, and then hopefully I'll be able to enjoy the weather without any input from my AV.

The fact that warm weather instantly makes me want to drink is also just another reminder that I'm an alcoholic which makes me even more committed to stay sober. (First thing my husband says when it's nice out is that he wants to go for a bike ride...)

Stay strong Lisa! :)

Replace it with something. Maybe a root beer float? Virgin daq with whipped cream? Some special treat for you to enjoy. In my recovery, I am finding I enjoy a bowl of ice cream at night . Dessert and coffee with a nice dinner out to replace the wine.

Small pleasures really help. Give yourself something else to look forward to.

Here is a good one: a quiet (hang over-free) morning outside in the sun, with some good music, a gossip magazine and a cup of coffee? While your neighbors are sleeping off their headaches?!?

i used to join the neighbors out on their porch late into the evening and i think they
are grateful i no longer do!

It must be a spring thing. I've noticed a few people here seem to be experiencing cravings, and even worse, following through on them. I actually had a full fledged craving today as well. Had a nap and feel better.

Just work through it, and remember you have to pay to play. I try to think of how I would feel "after". Not willing to sign up for that right now. You can do it. Good luck, and I'm sure your sponsor will have some choice words for ya! Take care.

I agree with Dee! The AV wants to paint us a pretty picture... It's a liar. It's not worth it!

Remember exactly why you stopped drinking...all those horrible feelings

Ask yourself waveridermke do you really miss feeling like that ?

Part of the trick is to get through all the first without a drink and that includes the seasons and season changes. Once the 'first' are taken care of it gets easier.
We can associate so many things with drinking, break that association by not having a drink.

Jeez...I was kinda hoping that when I was done being snowed in here that it might get easier. Now I'm starting to see that I'm just going to have a whole bunch of new hurdles during spring and summer. Oh, well. Wouldn't want this to be TOO easy...

Stay strong, waverider.

I agree with the above mention of creating a good new drink!. Lately ive been making virgin pina coladas for desert. Wow, absolutely delish and refreshing. It never needed rum to make it better, it was always just good as it was.

And to the above: yes you have to go through all the 'firsts' to get it out of your system. It gets so much easier once the firsts are quelled.

Yea, I haven't had cravings for a couple of months but this spring weather with the sun coming out and the weather getting warmer has set off my AV too. I traditionally welcomed spring with a bottle of rosé while sitting out on the patio, but the craving is for about any kind of alcohol that would give me a warm buzz. My AV romanticizes the first hour or two, so what is helping me is to "play the tape forward" to how it will go later that evening, during the night and for sure the next morning when I've got to get up to go to work. The scenario never works out well, and in an hour or two I'm always so glad I didn't give in. Hang in there. :)

A lot of cravings have been popping up for me too with the change in weather. I've been making sure I'm in good environments and keeping myself distracted. Hang in there waveridermike!

Hi Lisa - it's so good you posted about this.

For me, that first calendar year was challenging. Many triggers as the seasons changed, holidays, vacations, etc. When we prove to ourselves that we don't need it to enjoy life, it gets much easier. This 30-year drinker rarely thinks of it now. Never thought that would happen. We say it all the time, but it does get less intense - or most of us would never have made it. :)

Thank you so much for your support, guys! There is so much love here. It is really comforting to know that I'm not alone with such season-related cravings.

My heart is filled with such happiness just hearing from you all. I can barely even describe the amount of excitement I feel knowing that we are going through this all together.

I love the idea of creating my own special virgin drinks and eating ice cream!

omenapt, your post made LOL so hard!

Much love and gratitude!

-Lisa

work those steps.....we are placed in a position of neutrality and recoil....