Not sure what to think about this comment
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by ~Lia~ 
I have always had her back when she was sick. I guess I feel like she was trying to have me second guess my decision to quit alcohol. It resonated with me a little.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 49
IMO, or from what I'm learning from similar situations, is that people don't realize how serious a problem it is to be an addict. I've faced similar issues with friends and I can just see in their eyes they have no idea how destructive booze is to me, because it isn't to them. They remember me being "happy" at bars but never saw the destruction at home. For this reason people on the outside often assume we're taking ourselves too seriously by committing to sober life for good. Most people, when I say "I'm sober" will ask me "cool, how long are you doing this for?".
Perhaps she's a stirrer and Chris is mad he lost a drinking buddy, but it's probsbly true that both of them are ignorant to how much better off you are this way. ATM, I don't have many friends that are worth convincing: I decided if my bar friends don't care to be friends sober they're not worth my anxiety. But if I did have friends I valued who held this kind of opinion, I'd ask to go for lunch or coffee and explain to them all the things that "normal" people don't know about addiction. I know there's a lot of stuff I still don't know, I'm amazed at how much there is to learn...it's difficult for people to see addiction as a problem if they don't face it themselves.
I understand your ambivalence in this situation, and I hope you can find some rational resolution that doesn't involve temptation. You are strong and you should be proud of yourself for coming this far - and you deserve to have friends who support you in your HUGE life changes!
Perhaps she's a stirrer and Chris is mad he lost a drinking buddy, but it's probsbly true that both of them are ignorant to how much better off you are this way. ATM, I don't have many friends that are worth convincing: I decided if my bar friends don't care to be friends sober they're not worth my anxiety. But if I did have friends I valued who held this kind of opinion, I'd ask to go for lunch or coffee and explain to them all the things that "normal" people don't know about addiction. I know there's a lot of stuff I still don't know, I'm amazed at how much there is to learn...it's difficult for people to see addiction as a problem if they don't face it themselves.
I understand your ambivalence in this situation, and I hope you can find some rational resolution that doesn't involve temptation. You are strong and you should be proud of yourself for coming this far - and you deserve to have friends who support you in your HUGE life changes!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Originally Posted by Jdvivre
IMO, or from what I'm learning from similar situations, is that people don't realize how serious a problem it is to be an addict. I've faced similar issues with friends and I can just see in their eyes they have no idea how destructive booze is to me, because it isn't to them. They remember me being "happy" at bars but never saw the destruction at home. For this reason people on the outside often assume we're taking ourselves too seriously by committing to sober life for good. Most people, when I say "I'm sober" will ask me "cool, how long are you doing this for?".
Perhaps she's a stirrer and Chris is mad he lost a drinking buddy, but it's probsbly true that both of them are ignorant to how much better off you are this way. ATM, I don't have many friends that are worth convincing: I decided if my bar friends don't care to be friends sober they're not worth my anxiety. But if I did have friends I valued who held this kind of opinion, I'd ask to go for lunch or coffee and explain to them all the things that "normal" people don't know about addiction. I know there's a lot of stuff I still don't know, I'm amazed at how much there is to learn...it's difficult for people to see addiction as a problem if they don't face it themselves.
I understand your ambivalence in this situation, and I hope you can find some rational resolution that doesn't involve temptation. You are strong and you should be proud of yourself for coming this far - and you deserve to have friends who support you in your HUGE life changes!
Perhaps she's a stirrer and Chris is mad he lost a drinking buddy, but it's probsbly true that both of them are ignorant to how much better off you are this way. ATM, I don't have many friends that are worth convincing: I decided if my bar friends don't care to be friends sober they're not worth my anxiety. But if I did have friends I valued who held this kind of opinion, I'd ask to go for lunch or coffee and explain to them all the things that "normal" people don't know about addiction. I know there's a lot of stuff I still don't know, I'm amazed at how much there is to learn...it's difficult for people to see addiction as a problem if they don't face it themselves.
I understand your ambivalence in this situation, and I hope you can find some rational resolution that doesn't involve temptation. You are strong and you should be proud of yourself for coming this far - and you deserve to have friends who support you in your HUGE life changes!
On the other hand, if they do realize the full extent of what it means to be an "addict" and still attempt to lure us back, then it's time to say goodbye to them.
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