tootsl1

Trachy make today the day you make the right choice love. Get back on the path and hold out your hand I'm reaching out for it.

Gilmer

Hi, Trach. See how many people love you? I agree with Fandy. Take a day off. You're likely to be noticed at work.

Pipping

Call in sick Trachy, it's not worth it. Take care xx

trachemys

I'm OK. Thanks, y'all. This is like coming out of amnesia.

Della1968

I am sorry for being late I just saw this. Your posts have either always made me smile or made me think. The 2 reasons I come here. You are a Titan. You relapsed and that sucks but you will own it and come back from it with stronger resolve. You are much more than this.

FreeOwl

Are you mad?

Well, yes. In a manner of speaking.

You know you're alcoholic yet you drank again.

That's basically insanity.

It's time to get back to supporting your SANITY.

I hope you take it seriously with a clear sober head and get on to redoubling your effort at living sober TODAY.

lunar

Totally can relate, Trach.
I've driven to the store, in a robot-like state,
brain blocking out all reasoning, not aware
of the consequences, until after the first sip.
Damn, sneaky AV.
Hope you feel better today.

soberclover

You are still drunk I am sure dude. Don't go to work. Take the time to sober up and get the squirrels out of your brain. Then on to figuring this out.

AddictGuy

I don't know, doggone, my experience is that one minute you are fine, the next minute you are drinking and you don't know what happened and you feel just like you are carried along.

AddictGuy

How sublime.

Saskia

Trachy, we are Titans some of the time and also humans. Relapse happens. Recovery takes work and is worth every ounce of effort. You are a good man. You reached out and look how many friends came here to support you! Now reach out and let us help you get back on track.

KateL

It happens. Best thing is to put it behind you and carry on. I'm not saying relapse is okay and normal or owt - it's actually horrible but common, it just happens and is no reason to give up xxxx

Nowsthetime

Hi Trachy!!!

I'm here for support. You are more important than you think. I have always admired your wisdom! Get up, dust yourself and keep going. Try to figure out what happened that made you drink.

YOU can do this.

Littlebear

Hi Trachs. I just found your thread too...and am pulled in to join you... because - I see it as pretty amazing that you managed to keep the SR community close up to you - whilst you drank. Talked to us through it, and with it. I'm not saying the drinking is good but...jeez...that's got to be worth noticing?...your capacity to see through the blur and fog enough to still orientate towards what's helpful, and what will support - us out here? So...I ask one thing...

...when you get home from work...take time to read through this long thread of support and love from us all - over and over...and let it in? We all out here know how it is...and we are ready to start again with you on day 1...x

SoberLeigh

You were my first thought when I woke up this morning, Trachs. I hope that you went back to bed and not to work.

Please drink plenty of water, have small light meals throughout the day and get plenty of sleep when you are able.

Sending love.

Inchworm

Thinking of you, Trachs. We are you.

Jupiters

Trachs, hope you got some sleep and didn't go into work!
Please check in with us, lots of people worried and wishing you the best.

LBrain

I hope it's not too late to repeat this.

PinkGstring

But were you not aware of the fact that you were driving to the bottle O and bought a bottle of grog? Maybe you were sleepwalking?

AddictGuy

I swear PinkG, it's not the same for all of us. I know, from my own experience one can just be commandeered in one's mental faculties and it's not really the you that is really you anymore picking up.

Lenina was saying it's harder for some than for others and that mental illness and addiction can play off each other and support each other. I am not saying Trach is mentally ill or anything like that, but I am saying some things. Who among us can claim to really be above it if we have had chapters in our lives where our objectivities were suppressed and where substances ran our lives and made our decisions for us? Who among us can say that that could never happen again, even tomorrow, or even later today?

I am mentally ill. Of course, mental illness is a broad, broad term, but at least in that sense, I know for me, I can just be taken over.

I haven't had alcohol or any of the other real baddies for years, though they were once a daily thing, to dire effect. But now, I am still prone to active addiction, though now it is "just" coffee, but coffee incapacitates me.

I was on day four this morning but in my head I heard, "You will not leave me behind," and I knew exactly who was speaking: Addiction itself, in the form of coffee . . . or was it my long-deceased mother? If a woman raises her eyebrow to me and orders me to cut off my hand, I will drop everything and feverishly go looking for a knife, so to speak. It is all I can do, and I am not all that successful at separating myself from this phenomena, though it has altered the direction of my life.

I am not excusing it and I know this isn't my thread and all of that, but you must know, though all of us here are searching for or reinforcing our own deliverance, it is a steeper hill for some of us than for others. But for the grace of God . . . . It is not the same for us all.

AG