This last weekend
 

I posted yesterday that I drank on Friday/Saturday which I am (so far unsuccessfully) trying to change. I also posted that I felt pretty good physically. That changed later in the day. I got mild withdrawal symptoms. Strong heartbeat, mild shakiness, and for the first time in a long time some anxiety/fear crept into my head. This makes me VERY angry with myself. Although like a typical drunk, I knew this might happen because I thought about it last week. I guess you could say I planned it. Last week was the final week of my winter season and starting tomorrow I have ALOT of work to do. Calls are coming in for work and I need to be 100% since this winter was not good financially.

Last night I got very poor sleep (we all know why) and this morning I'm good, thankfully. Sorry to be a broken record, but this last weekend has upset me. I guess the only thing I can do is reset the clock so to speak and use this week as an opportunity to make it stick. So, I'm being honest with you all and letting you know I failed. It has to stop.

Keep coming here! Welcome back, drink lots of water and get some naps in when you can. Thank you for your honesty

Jennifer

Feeling pretty good? Check.
Big change in work? Check.
Seasonal change? Check.

These are all triggers. You have been in a slump with work for the winter but now spring is arriving and work is picking up. The weather will be nicer. All things that my alcoholic little imp tells me are great reasons to drink. Hey! Celebrate! You can always quit tomorrow.

It doesn't quite work like that. I kept drinking. You can stop here and now. Don't beat yourself up. It helped me to be more mindful of seasonal changes and work related stuff. Hang in there.

Resetting the clock is only one thing that you could do. There are a whole host of things you could do this week to make sure next weekend isn't more of the same. How about writing down a physical list of the things you will do each day to work on your sobriety? Put it on your fridge. Print it out and carry it around with you in your wallet.

Do you have any ideals of what you might do differently?

Completly agree with Scott

I put some post it notes on the refrigerator. Its quite apparent that what I am currently doing is not working.

Right now I'm just mad, so I can't be creative with putting together a plan to divert myself.

yup, weekend plans.
must have a weekend plan.
I try to not think about as weekends anymore. They are just 2 more days of the week that I don't drink.

I've got some thoughts ruminating in my head. This should't be this difficult. But it is.

I've got some thoughts ruminating in my head. This should't be this difficult. But it is.