Day 93: Check in
Stay Strong and Motivated
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 78
Day 93: Check in
I haven't posted lately but I've been reading posts nearly every day. I've noticed a lot of people going strong for while and then out of no where they get the strong urge to drink again, and some broke. I have to say that I went through this recently. Work for me has been especially stressful due to added responsibilities and more pressure from the top. My wife and I have been having some issues and are working them out, but just added to the stress. Last week I had a couple days off and she was working, kid was in school, and I had the house to myself for a good long while. Normally I'd just kick back and enjoy the time away from everything, especially with the weather getting warmer. During times like this in the past I'd get a bottle of liquor, watch movies, and drink to oblivion for a few days straight. I almost did it again. I thought about it, planned it out, etc. I read posts here, knew that I shouldn't but couldn't shake the feeling. I had my jacket on and was about to leave to get booze and I stopped at the door and forced myself to remember every single bad aspect of drinking that I'd been through. The blacking out, the feeling the next day, how my wife would feel, my daughter, how it would take weeks for my mind to get back to normal, everything. I took off my jacket, made a big lunch and waited. The feeling passed and I scolded myself for even considering it. The fact that I was so close to breaking really woke me up and crushed that feeling of complacency. When my wife got home I told her about it and we discussed it. She hugged me and said she was proud of me for staying strong. All of us ended up going to see a movie and had a great night. That wouldn't have happened if I had binged.
I feel much better, but this particular AV situation was tough. I've gone to poker games where my buddy's were drinking beer and I didn't have one urge to drink. I believe that the trigger for this time was the fact that I was under a lot of stress and the day off situation was the same as it was when I used to binge. But I stayed true and I'm staying sober. Thanks for reading this.
Stay motivated!
I feel much better, but this particular AV situation was tough. I've gone to poker games where my buddy's were drinking beer and I didn't have one urge to drink. I believe that the trigger for this time was the fact that I was under a lot of stress and the day off situation was the same as it was when I used to binge. But I stayed true and I'm staying sober. Thanks for reading this.
Stay motivated!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
93 days is fabulous, jayman; well done.
Good to hear that you were able to get through that 'alone time' successfully. The past is a great reminder of why it doesn't belong in our present and future; rewinding, playing and fast forwarding that alcoholic 'tape' is a great tool.
Good to hear that you were able to get through that 'alone time' successfully. The past is a great reminder of why it doesn't belong in our present and future; rewinding, playing and fast forwarding that alcoholic 'tape' is a great tool.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Hey Jayman, thanks for checking in. The AV never goes away, glad you were able to fight it off this time. Stay close to your support..maybe take some time to do a little more posting here if that is helpful.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 750
Hey jay, that is a great victory! I know when I let my AV into the driver seat and get into the mode it is next to impossible to NOT drink by that point. Stopping and really "playing the tape all the way through" is easier said than done, and you did it, and it worked.
Congrats on 93 days!
Congrats on 93 days!
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