crawler

Told a few people I'm quitting drinking. Responses varied from my sister saying good for you and offering help, to friends saying I don't t really have a problem. I know I'm not the worst alcoholic who ever drank. How do I explain to people that not everyone who needs to quit is homeless or leaving last Vegas style drinker

Thepatman

The only person that needs convincing is you.

trachemys

Wish we had whistles on here. Patman nailed it in one.

Tang

There will always be someone trying to convince you to drink whether through criticism of your sobriety or pure peer pressure. That's why you have to make a promise to yourself.

jazzfish

You are the ultimate judge of your life and there is never a need to justify your life choices. It only opens you up to debating your decision.

ReadyAtLast

you don't need to explain anything to anyone. Spend your energies on your sobriety and doing whatever you need to do to stay sober. People will see in time that you are staying sober. Words mean very little, action counts

crawler

Thank you for the advice

ScottFromWI

Your actions will speak for themselves. There will always be those who doubt or judge us in all areas of our life, but as long as you know the truth things will be just fine. And over time, your sobriery will change others perception of you to one of responsibility and trust.

Soberwolf

As long as you know Crawler thats all that matters

scaredofchange

I'm in the same boat with my brother. He always tells me that I'm not as bad as I think and that real alcoholics have it much worse. then I end up drinking with him. we'll usually have a fun night, which validates everything he says BUT I know from experiance that one of those nights always has and always will go too far and I'll end up embarrassing myself or putting my life at risk. It's like playing Russian roulette!

I wish you so much strength and luck. I'm in the struggle with you.

Tang

This is good advice and applies to more than just sobriety. There will always be another human on this planet who will criticize your actions, even ones you think are purely good.

I had a female friend get a job promotion recently and she found out her peers were all saying behind her back that the only reason she got it was due to her being the only woman on the team. I told her the more good you think you're doing in this world, the more critics you'll find talking behind your back. It's just the nature of us flawed humans.

Anna

Why do you feel that you need to explain that to people in your life?

I know I needed ALL my energy to focus on me and my recovery. Allow other people to think what they want, as long as you know you are doing the right thing.

resolute50

My BIL doubted I could quit without help.
That was over a 1 1/2 years ago.
I love proving people wrong.

Calitano

Ha, I only told two very very close friends that I was quitting and they were both completely stunned! They had no idea that I drank alone or how much and still don't. It's like their minds refuse to accept the information! They thought I was crazy and overreacting to a recent news article about liver damage in women. One just says "cool, do what you need to do honey", the other keeps offering me glasses of wine thinking if I have a glass and chill out I'll get over it…. It's really not meant maliciously, she's just baffled and genuinely had no idea that as she gently relaxed and sipped a nice G&T, I would be anxiously eyeing up the wine bottle wondering when it was going to run dry and it there was a second in the fridge! I just laugh now, spend less time with her in drinking zones and focus on myself and what I need to do and be. It's kind of funny. There are all manners of irony there too as all three of us had alcoholic parents.

I've told other friends that I'm on a health kick (true) to little or no reaction apart from a "good for you dear."
I've crossed a few of the old party people off the list and phone blocked one or two who just call when they need a drinking buddy. Got a few angry reactions there but nothing that's real to me or even about me.

In summary: I don't explain and I sure don't apologize for being sober.

aasharon90

Learning about addiction and its affects
on us and others around us is very important.
Addiction affects each of us mentally, physically,
emotionally as well as spiritually in different ways.

After I was educated in rehab and following
a program of recovery in my everyday life,
then I was able to understand that only I
am responsible for my own recovery.

I also learned that I cant control people,
places and things in my life that don't
understand addiction and its affects on
me. I should know because I tried like
heck to make my family understand that
because I am sober and that I have
been sober for 24 yrs. doesn't mean
im cured of this disease.

Addiction to me is a disease, similar to other
diseases out there in the world affecting all
walks of like, but can be controlled with a program
of recovery or if other diseases with proper meds
that are not narcotic or habit forming.

My family believes that I no longer should
use AA or need AA as a crutch to remain sober.
As much as I tried to explain addiction to them,
they will never truly understand what it is to
not be able to drink successfully like they can
because they have no problems with addiction
like I had.

I got sick and tired of trying to explain my
recovery to them and how important it is
to incorporate my AA program of recovery
in all my affairs that I had to ACCEPT them
just the way they are. ACCEPTACE is the key.

Today, I am still responsible in recovery
and don't let others ruffle my feathers. As
long as I continue to incorperate my recovery
tools in all areas of my life then im a happy,
healthy, honest camper I can possibly be.