Super ashamed. Marriage hanging by a thread.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I know domestic violence is an emotive issue, but let's not turn this thread into a slanging match or one where we're passing judgement on other people's posts.
Thats just ridiculous, it's not the way we do things here, and it does nothing to help the OP
If you have a problem with another posters post, my advice is to write a reply...then get up and go away - come back after 45 minutes of so...
if you still think you need to reply, send a PM instead
We're here to help.
Dee
Moderator
SR
Thats just ridiculous, it's not the way we do things here, and it does nothing to help the OP
If you have a problem with another posters post, my advice is to write a reply...then get up and go away - come back after 45 minutes of so...
if you still think you need to reply, send a PM instead
We're here to help.
Dee
Moderator
SR
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by HoosierFarmer 
I'm trying to anticipate triggers and situations where I will be tempted to have a drink. Business travel, social gatherings with family, stress, etc. I feel guilt right now, so I'm not tempted to drink. But I wonder when/if things get somewhat normal again, how I will handle it and avoid old patterns?
Do not future-trip, only deal with this day and how to avoid a drink now. And I would suggest you attend 90 AA meetings in 90 days. I know that sounds like a ridiculous commitment - I felt the same way when I received that advice as I was preparing to go home after rehab. I ultimately went to 360 meetings in my first year of sobriety. I picked up a 5 year Medallion last December.
The thing that I think trips people up when "things get somewhat normal" is they allow themselves to think that they have become somewhat normal. If you are an alcoholic, you will remain an alcoholic. The only way to keep from repeating the past is to keep your drinking in the past.
Keep posting, Hoosier, you are not alone.
Best,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
My husband and I both drank heavily and we both said and did things we regret. Get as much support as you can, stay sober and be patient. Things can change for the better I know it doesn't feel that way at the moment, the only certainty really is that continuing to drink will make matters worse. Good luck mate it's hard but it's worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hello:
First of all I wanted to tell you that you're not alone. I have been you in the past in my marriage. My husband would push the right buttons (like not let me leave when I knew I was going to explode) and I would end up putting my hands on him. It wasn't right for either of us and it's not right from both of you. You know that. If you really want to work this you have to work on YOU. Drinking just NEVER makes anything better.
This can be your opportunity for it to click!!!
Use SR as much as you need. We are here to support you.
First of all I wanted to tell you that you're not alone. I have been you in the past in my marriage. My husband would push the right buttons (like not let me leave when I knew I was going to explode) and I would end up putting my hands on him. It wasn't right for either of us and it's not right from both of you. You know that. If you really want to work this you have to work on YOU. Drinking just NEVER makes anything better.
This can be your opportunity for it to click!!!
Use SR as much as you need. We are here to support you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
