Struggling and dreading tomorrow
 

Sorry not been about much. Generally things bit easier (a lot easier at times). Passed the 2 month mark which can't believe.
Tomorrow is going to be such a test tho.
My sister and myself are going to my parents. My daughters with her dad so be alone after. My sis is bringing wine as she always does. Doesn't drink much but will be having a glass. My mum has said same to her as my dad, that I was drinking a little more than I should, couple of glasses a night (really minimised it) and said I've decided to stop. She's happy not to have any but don't want to stop her and doesn't matter really if one or 10 ppl. It's the fact I'm going to be with someone drinking. Wound myself up so much and ended up crying on the phone to my mum earlier which I feel awful about but she totally understands. In one way think better for people to know whole truth but then in another way I don't. Just don't know what to do. I've slept most of today just trying to avoid thinking about tomorrow. Feel guilty then haven't spent much time with my girl which makes me want to drink more. Part of me just doesn't want to go tomorrow but I don't want to avoid it either because it's Mother's Day and will feel bad not going and have to do it eventually. Just exhausted from oversleeping and crying today and feel stupid for letting it affect me like this.

Even though i respect its mothers day tomorrow im pretty sure your mum will understand you not attending if its making you feel this way

Put nothing before your sobriety JG here for you bud

Would you be able to meet your mother at a coffee shop? That might be a compromise where you be able to spend time with her, but alcohol would not be around.

Exellent idea Anna

Meeting mom elsewhere might be the way to go. No danger of anyone drinking in a coffee shop. :)

I like the coffee shop idea. Don't beat your self up now though. Remember that you are in control of your sobriety. You are the protector and you do not drink. Thank of what a great commitment that is for your girl !

Aw thanku and I love the coffee shop idea but my mum has already bought food for tomorrow and it's all arranged. She's been really understanding and already said she understood if I didn't feel I could do it but I feel bad if I don't. I've decided that if a bottles opened and I feel stressed I'll say I think I left the cooker on or something and escape for an hour and go back later. Bit lame but it's one way to avoid it x

Don't dread it mate.

Its Mothers day.
We are celebrating being mums, very good mums too that we are! We are celebrating having good mums too. Your mum sounds great in that she understands and has your back on this.

If it were me (and it will be me tomorrow) see it as an event to get yourself through.
Almost like having a job to do.
Thats how I will go about it. My mum wants her daughters round with their children to have food etc.
Its my job to make sure the day goes well.
I will smile. I will be sociable.
If anyone wants a glass of wine or a beer, I won't crumble or lay on the floor screaming 'how can you do that in front of me?'
I will go off and do the washing up if it gets me away from drinking I don't like.
I will offer to go and make pudding. I will go drive and buy pudding if I have to!
I will take some nice photo's and be the 'official photographer'.
I will read my Dads paper.
I will ask if anyone wants to go for a walk.
I won't drink.
I won't be miserable.
I will come home. I will feel really, really proud of myself. I will lay on my sofa with a mug of tea and go to bed happy the day went well and I made my mum happy.

You can do it too hun.
Just focus on getting home, breathing a sigh of relief and feeling happy when its time to go to bed. xx

I also think you are seriously under estimating yourself too, in that you won't be able to handle people drinking near you.
You have done an amazing job of being sober so far.

Why not go and try it.
Be open to it.
If it is really that bad, you tried it and you can know for next time that type of arrangement won't work in the future.
You can go to a coffee shop etc instead.

But how will you know if you don't try?

I wish you the best with your sobriety, whatever way you decide to handle it.

Do whatever you need to and don't feel guilty. You're worth it

Thanku oh and Sasha u r so right Thanku for that perspective :-) xx

At my mums now and I know my brother and sister have brought a bottle but not opened it yet. Wish me luck xx

you can do it!!!! stay strong and keep this site/app readily available in your phone. how about you set an hourly reminder on your phone calendar that reads "You're strong and I'm proud of you. Check in with Sober Recovery!". That way you can simply type a smiley face, or say "I'm doing great" real quick and go back to showing your mom how great of a daughter you are.

proud of you, stay strong!

Thanku I love that idea and a huge help knowing I have u guys around while I'm here xx

Just remember you know why you dont drink if things get stressful have an exit plan

Good luck

I used to dread holidays with my family, my sister and her husband and my father all love wine. Once I was honest with them they stopped bringing it and and mentioning it. I am sure they all enjoy it other times but actually the family gatherings have been better and nobody seems to miss it.

If my family members are in control of their drinking they can easily go without wine a few times a year so why not try and help me out but not having it around right?

Well it's 5.30 and had tea ..leaving soon and the wine still hasn't been opened. My mums been offering cuppas every half hour bless her and not mentioned the wine :-) x

(((jg)))

:)

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