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-   -   i actually care about my life...damnit. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/362009-i-actually-care-about-my-life-damnit.html)

DisplacedGRITS 03-14-2015 09:10 AM

i actually care about my life...damnit.
 
So I've been struggling/drowning with my alcoholism since my grandfather died back in November. My struggles with addiction have resulted in several late days at work and now my job is in jeopardy. It's not just that but that seems to be the sharpest of my pains. I love my job. I love, love, love my job. I've never been late or missed a day because I didn't earnestly want to come into work. Lately, I've often been late due to being hungover and generally angry with God and my life. I had peace with God until by Daddy Irvine got sick and died. Now, I kinda hate God and Don't trust anyone. I've become hopelessly self centered and self seeking and I simply cannot continue to live like this. That being said, I love my job and a lot of what I love is helping people and pets.

I just texted my boss and told him that I want to speak one on one with him. I'm waiting to hear back from an outpatient rehab center. I've left a message with my psych. I want to keep my job so bad and I want to get sober. I'm afraid of admitting my relapse to my employee but I'm afraid it's actually the best thing I can do to save my job. I need to be brutally honest with everyone in my life.

Does anyone have any tips for approaching an employer regarding addiction? He likes the **** outta me and I'm afraid of disappointing him but I also think he'll go to the ends of the world to accommodate me and give me a chance. I want to stay here. I love my job. I am not currently the same person they employed but I want to get back there.

Della1968 03-14-2015 09:15 AM

I think I would tell him you need some counseling to deal with your grief and other issues but I would seriously contemplate opening up about the alcoholism.

Jeni26 03-14-2015 09:27 AM

Seems to me you are running out of options. It sounds like you are surrounded by support, your boss really cares about you.

Maybe this is your chance to be honest and courageous and take some risks. That sober life you want is ahead of you. Time to leave the past behind you and go for it. Good luck to you x

Anna 03-14-2015 09:35 AM

I would avoid saying anything to your employer about your alcoholism.

It's something that could so easily come back and bite you in the future. What if, months from now, you were late because of a traffic problem? What if you were having an 'off' day because you were concerned about a family issue? It seems that you would be leaving yourself open for your employer to go back to the alcoholism issue for any work related problem.

Is there anyway to have the discussion with your employer and not mention alcoholism specifically?

KateL 03-14-2015 09:38 AM

Yeah, I would keep it brief for now xxxx

DisplacedGRITS 03-14-2015 10:42 AM

I think i'm going to keep it as close to my chest as i can for now. The good thing is that i think Washington State is awfully liberal regarding this matter. Just got done speaking with my mom. Had a good come to Jesus with here. Things may get a lot more painful from here on out but they can only get better.

EndGameNYC 03-14-2015 11:14 AM

Tell him the truth. You've been struggling since your grandfather's death in ways and for a length of time that you could not have anticipated and that you're seeking help for this. Even though he probably already knows, remind him how important your job is to you.

Good people tend to respond well to the honesty of our suffering.

ArtFriend 03-14-2015 11:35 AM

Does your employer has employee assistance? You might check with Human Resources to see about that. I worked at a company years ago that provided with when I needed to see a counselor. It is supposed to be confidential.

Soberwolf 03-14-2015 12:46 PM

I 5000% agree with Anna

FreeOwl 03-14-2015 01:06 PM

does your employer participate in an EAP or any mental health support programs?

If so, going through that program or your HR department is probably a better way to proceed. Talking to your direct boss may impact your relationship, perception or otherwise lead to negative consequences. Many corporate employers in the US provide employees with access to mental health benefits and programs that include substance treatment in a confidential way that help communicate the need and work with the employee - without the specifics of what is going on being revealed to superiors or co-workers.

You may be entitled to take short-term disability for treatment and return to your position or a position of equal pay and responsibility without consequence.

If I were you I would contact your EAP or reach out to your HR department to inquire about the availability of confidential mental health services to support "a personal issue in my life right now".

ReadyAtLast 03-14-2015 01:39 PM

I would not tell any employer about my problem. Regardless of laws, protection and how much you think your boss is understanding and a friend you are putting yourself at a major disadvantage and opening yourself up for problems by admitting you have an alcohol problem.

FreeOwl 03-14-2015 01:44 PM

the flip side is that if by not opening up at least enough to get the support you need..... you are putting yourself at far, far greater risk.


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