Notices

Left Alcoholic Relationship

Old 03-14-2015, 05:52 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 7
Left Alcoholic Relationship

Has anyone ever hit bottom through a relationship with another alcoholic? I fell deeply in love with a man ...another drinker...but I got out to save myself. If I stayed I knew I would die. But leaving feels like death. I never told him why I left. I just left to save myself.

I'm leaving two loves, alcohol and him. And it hurts. Feedback most welcome.
LotusGirl43 is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 06:02 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Kaleidoscope eyes
 
KateL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by LotusGirl43 View Post
Has anyone ever hit bottom through a relationship with another alcoholic? I fell deeply in love with a man ...another drinker...but I got out to save myself. If I stayed I knew I would die. But leaving feels like death. I never told him why I left. I just left to save myself.

I'm leaving two loves, alcohol and him. And it hurts. Feedback most welcome.
You are doing the right thing. You won't feel like this forever. Brave it out and you'll be so glad that you did xxxxx
KateL is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 06:29 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Della1968's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
My fiance actually left me because of my drinking. I was devastated at the time. Now looking back I know in my heart I wouldn't have gotten or stayed sober if we were still together. He liked to drink which is fine for him it doesn't cause problems in his life. More importantly I would have never felt right putting the time and effort I need to into my recovery if I was in a relationship. I know how hard it is but you are worth it.
Della1968 is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 06:31 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
PinkGstring's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Alice Springs, NT, Down Under
Posts: 195
Originally Posted by LotusGirl43 View Post
Has anyone ever hit bottom through a relationship with another alcoholic? I fell deeply in love with a man ...another drinker...but I got out to save myself. If I stayed I knew I would die. But leaving feels like death. I never told him why I left. I just left to save myself.

I'm leaving two loves, alcohol and him. And it hurts. Feedback most welcome.
My ex that I dumped is an alcoholic, she never said it but I know she is, though she only drinks light beers.
I HAD to get rid of her to move on, and later after we split up I ended up in hospital. The beginning of my sobriety
PinkGstring is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 06:36 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 7
Thanks for your replies. It's good to know I'm not alone. While I know it was the right decision, I'm struggling with guilt over how I ended it. I just sent him his stuff and cut contact (after an argument over something else). But the real reason I left, of course, was the drinking.

Should I ever go back and make amends? I certainly don't feel strong enough now, I would likely drink over it...or maybe fall back into things with him...
LotusGirl43 is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 06:54 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Kaleidoscope eyes
 
KateL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by LotusGirl43 View Post
Thanks for your replies. It's good to know I'm not alone. While I know it was the right decision, I'm struggling with guilt over how I ended it. I just sent him his stuff and cut contact (after an argument over something else). But the real reason I left, of course, was the drinking.

Should I ever go back and make amends? I certainly don't feel strong enough now, I would likely drink over it...or maybe fall back into things with him...

Very sensible xxx
KateL is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 07:28 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome LotusGirl its nice to meet you youl find so much support here
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 07:38 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
I'm proud of you!!! It is SO HARD to cut someone off and cut contact. You know in your heart what needed to be done and if your life depended on it you are doing the right thing. Only you know if you need to reach out to him for closure. I would suggest that if you do at least wait a bit so that your emotions aren't as raw. Take time to heal. You are not bad for doing what you need to do to change your life in a positive way.

Read a lot here. You will learn from others.
Nowsthetime is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 10:43 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
EndGame
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by LotusGirl43 View Post
Thanks for your replies. It's good to know I'm not alone. While I know it was the right decision, I'm struggling with guilt over how I ended it. I just sent him his stuff and cut contact...
My ex did pretty much the same thing. As far as I'm concerned, she owes me nothing.
EndGameNYC is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 11:16 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
...holds the key
 
brynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Oh lotus! Hugs!

I left my alcoholic partner back in December when I decided to get sober and boy, it's been a struggle to stay away because I do still love him! I left because he was trying to sabotage my sobriety and I knew I had to leave if I wanted to have any sort of chance at a sober life so I totally get where your coming from!

If you feel iffy about seeing him FOR ANY REASON THEN STAY AWAY! There's no reason to make amends or have any contact with him right now! It's too soon and your emotions are too raw! Give it time...a real long time...before you even think about seeing him.

It's been three months for me, and even NOW it's hard to be around my ex and not get sucked back into a really unhealthy relationship. Save yourself, lotus. Stay strong and keep looking forward! ❤️
brynn is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 05:52 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
OnMyWay7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
Oh Lotus. I'm sure it hurts like heck but I understand having to get out of a relationship to stay sober and live. I felt like that last Nov. stay strong. Pick life. Journal and remember this feeling that you want to live. Prayers your way.
OnMyWay7 is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 06:15 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
marcusflowers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Maryland
Posts: 93
lotusgirl. Save yourself first. It will hurt in more ways than one. But after you become well, you may have a different outlook on the whole relationship. I just went through a breakup myself. It still hurts. But with every passing day I realize that the whole relationship was dysfunctional and I am much better off being sober.
marcusflowers is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 06:25 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
New Life Sober
 
Jen73's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Noblesville, IN
Posts: 777
Lotus your not alone and welcome to SR, many people went thru this and you will fit right in. Hope to see you around....
Jen73 is offline  
Old 03-14-2015, 06:35 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
You've got to take care of yourself first and foremost. I'm glad you're here.
least is offline  
Old 03-15-2015, 02:54 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum LotusGirl!!
PurpleKnight is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:06 PM.