Drunk Mom
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 212
You definitely posted my story!! Daily 2 bottle wine drinker! Annoyed that my 12 and 8 year old would get in my way in the evenings! Anxious to get to my booze! Drink till I pass out! Somewhere in there I would drunk text people or get in long phone conversations with people, next day I see the texts or see how long I was on the phone with someone and not remember a freaking thing...Hungover every morning... Promise them 'mommy is really done this time' and would start the whole damn cycle over and over again!
You aren't alone sister! I'm 6 days sober today!
You aren't alone sister! I'm 6 days sober today!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,424
Speaking as someone who grew up with an alcoholic mother (and later became alcoholic myself) I applaud your decision to stop.
It is the greatest gift you can give your children--a safe and predicatable home environment and a fully present mother.
You can do it!
It is the greatest gift you can give your children--a safe and predicatable home environment and a fully present mother.
You can do it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Africa
Posts: 168
I just woke up. It's 6h30am. I am overwhelmed by the support and how many people can relate. My heart feels so good this morning. I've been on many forums but you guys!!!
Thank you! I enrolled in a CA program and it helps to keep me busy.
It's so nice to wake up and not think about drinking. I think today my kids, husband and I will go for a swim and a play in the park.
1 line keeps playing in my head from day 1. In Dairy of a mad black woman... her mom tells her this and now that I'm sober I hear the words. . "it's a new life baby"... that what I will say to them today. Its a new life babies.
Thank you! I enrolled in a CA program and it helps to keep me busy.
It's so nice to wake up and not think about drinking. I think today my kids, husband and I will go for a swim and a play in the park.
1 line keeps playing in my head from day 1. In Dairy of a mad black woman... her mom tells her this and now that I'm sober I hear the words. . "it's a new life baby"... that what I will say to them today. Its a new life babies.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NB canada
Posts: 57
good for you for stopping and seeing the impact it has on children.
I'm a single 24/7 parent, and I'm in recovery now. I have a 14 year old son.
I was in some pretty major denial when my son was young, even if I rarely drank in front of him. When he was young, my drinking was mostly binging on the rare weekend he was away from me. As he got older from about 5-11 he would see me drinking when I had people over for dinner parties or what not or getting ready to go out. I fooled myself into thinking it was okay because other normal drinkers did the same thing.
From about ages 11-13, I drank at home, never daily, but my son saw me majorly intoxicated many times. He was also late for school or flat out missed out school many times.
He went from a student who won an award at the end of middle school for having the having marks in math all three years running, to failing his first year of high school this year by november ( his marks at that point were such it would be impossible to bring them up to passing).
He is now currently being treated for severe anxiety and depression.
welcome here, I didn't mean to make this about myself, but my heart breaks on a daily basis for my child. He did not deserve this.
I knew this while drinking, but I couldn't stop. And one thing that kept me drinking was the shame I felt over my son. Even more so because I was perceived as a good mother. I was too afraid to tell anyone what my son went through at home.
I'm glad your here and recognize what drinking can do to kids. And, it doesn't get better.
The memories for the kids stay, and drinking gets worse, not better if you continue.
So glad you've made the decision to stop.
I'm a single 24/7 parent, and I'm in recovery now. I have a 14 year old son.
I was in some pretty major denial when my son was young, even if I rarely drank in front of him. When he was young, my drinking was mostly binging on the rare weekend he was away from me. As he got older from about 5-11 he would see me drinking when I had people over for dinner parties or what not or getting ready to go out. I fooled myself into thinking it was okay because other normal drinkers did the same thing.
From about ages 11-13, I drank at home, never daily, but my son saw me majorly intoxicated many times. He was also late for school or flat out missed out school many times.
He went from a student who won an award at the end of middle school for having the having marks in math all three years running, to failing his first year of high school this year by november ( his marks at that point were such it would be impossible to bring them up to passing).
He is now currently being treated for severe anxiety and depression.
welcome here, I didn't mean to make this about myself, but my heart breaks on a daily basis for my child. He did not deserve this.
I knew this while drinking, but I couldn't stop. And one thing that kept me drinking was the shame I felt over my son. Even more so because I was perceived as a good mother. I was too afraid to tell anyone what my son went through at home.
I'm glad your here and recognize what drinking can do to kids. And, it doesn't get better.
The memories for the kids stay, and drinking gets worse, not better if you continue.
So glad you've made the decision to stop.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
Sober Dad, Husband, and Friend
I am overwhelmed by the heartfelt sharing in this thread - it shows me that God has wired in us a desire to do the right thing for our families. I also know from my journey that we all have a 'Flesh Nature' and a 'Spiritual Nature', which are aspects of our 'Human Nature'.
I drank for 40 years. I was not mean or violent when drinking, and thank God I always kept a job and supported my family. However, now that I am Sober I clearly see how my addiction behavior ROBBED my wife and kids of what they needed and deserved from me..they needed and deserved ME, but I was consumed with feeding my addiction...with being selfish for ME.
The problem for me was that the Obsession/Craving/Drinking cycle was so engrained on a deep Automatic-Behavior level, that I could not stop when I KNEW I needed to. The Rational Recovery / AVRT method helped me become aware of my Addictive Voice that worked diligently on that deep level to GET THE ALCOHOL FIX IT NEEDED, and it did a good job of keeping ME believing it was ME that NEEDED that drink. The Addictive Voice, for my terminology, is embedded in the Flesh Nature that I was operating in 100% of the time...Self-Will-Run-Riot.
I still could not quit, even though I KNEW the dynamics of the Addictive Voice and that it was not actually the REAL me. After quitting, drinking, rehab, drinking, quitting...I got REAL BAD INSIDE. Thanks to the 12 Steps of AA, and somewhere around working Steps 4,5,6...an actual MIRACLE happened IN ME..I am now well over a year Happy, Joyous, and FREE. I maintain the Spiritual Condition of living in my Spiritual Nature by working the AA Daily Steps 10,11,12. I pray that everyone that has an addiction being controlled by Living in their Self-Serving Flesh Nature can find the FREEDOM I now have. God has truly done for me what I could NOT do for myself.
RDBplus3...Happy, Joyous, and FREE...and I know we ALL can be.
I drank for 40 years. I was not mean or violent when drinking, and thank God I always kept a job and supported my family. However, now that I am Sober I clearly see how my addiction behavior ROBBED my wife and kids of what they needed and deserved from me..they needed and deserved ME, but I was consumed with feeding my addiction...with being selfish for ME.
The problem for me was that the Obsession/Craving/Drinking cycle was so engrained on a deep Automatic-Behavior level, that I could not stop when I KNEW I needed to. The Rational Recovery / AVRT method helped me become aware of my Addictive Voice that worked diligently on that deep level to GET THE ALCOHOL FIX IT NEEDED, and it did a good job of keeping ME believing it was ME that NEEDED that drink. The Addictive Voice, for my terminology, is embedded in the Flesh Nature that I was operating in 100% of the time...Self-Will-Run-Riot.
I still could not quit, even though I KNEW the dynamics of the Addictive Voice and that it was not actually the REAL me. After quitting, drinking, rehab, drinking, quitting...I got REAL BAD INSIDE. Thanks to the 12 Steps of AA, and somewhere around working Steps 4,5,6...an actual MIRACLE happened IN ME..I am now well over a year Happy, Joyous, and FREE. I maintain the Spiritual Condition of living in my Spiritual Nature by working the AA Daily Steps 10,11,12. I pray that everyone that has an addiction being controlled by Living in their Self-Serving Flesh Nature can find the FREEDOM I now have. God has truly done for me what I could NOT do for myself.
RDBplus3...Happy, Joyous, and FREE...and I know we ALL can be.
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