DuhDave

All those addiction "Experts" that write those articles about how to overcome addictive behaviour dont have a clue in my opinion.

They say that the first step to quitting alcohol...is to stop drinking.

DUHHHHHHH !!!

Well, it's not that simple ! Abstenence and recovery are the two major piece's to the puzzle. You cannot have recovery without prolonged abstenence and you cannot have abstenence without prolonged recovery.

In other words...you cannot recover if you dont stop and STAY stopped, drinking!...and you cannot stay abstenent, longterm, without recovery !

The two go hand in hand.

Some say that it is easy to stop drinking. To that I say BS !!! It is NOT easy to stop drinking and stop using! It is VERY difficult...especially the first few weeks.

They say that the hard part is staying stopped. Thats crap ! I believe that the momentum of staying sober will feed on it's self and make it easier to stay stopped as time goes by. Day to day...As time goes by the desire and compulsion to drink subsides.

So. With this in mind...Why dont the so called "Experts" put "Recovery" FIRST...and stopping drinking/using second ??? The things that make you want to drink/use...should be delt with FIRST!...the triggers removed or delt with. The resentment, the animosity, the bitternes towards others...the judgemental attitude that a lot of us have...the things that make you want to use and abuse drugs whatever they may be should be delt with FIRST !!!

Then it just makes getting...and staying sober a whole lot easier.

Deal with the triggers and the inner self FIRST !

Embark on your road to RECOVERY FIRST...and in time your reason for using...and abusing, will subside, I truely believe.

It will make it a lot easier to stop the madness and regain you...and your life !

Yes...I'am thinking outside the box and it's very liberating to me! What do you think ?


DD

Gottalife

Hi Dave,
I have to agree with much of why you have written, especially about putting recovery first because that matches my experience. When I put "not drinking" aside as my main motivation and put finding a higher power in its place, which meant following some steps to make it happen, the drinking stopped of its own accord. You could have knocked me down with a feather when someone told me I had not had a drink for three months. It came as a big surprise to me.

But as far as dealing with outside issues and triggers first, there you lose me. If you research the story of Rowland H and Carl Jung you will see that for certain types of alcoholic, dealing with issues and triggers does not work. Yet it remains today the front line of attack at many rehabs. Just like Rowland, folks go and fix all their issues in rehab, leave and are drunk in a few days.

The solution for me and so many others was to follow Jung's advice to Rowland, which was to try and get his life on some kind of spritual path. He did, and never drank again. Our AA experience shows that when we straighten out spiritually, we straighten out mentally and physically. Rowland was never part of AA btw.

So my experience was to work on the spiritual first, which made AA a good fit for me, and as promised, the drink problem was removed without much thought or effort on my part. Many other problems, and issues seemed to be solved in the process of developing this new way of life.

DuhDave

Mike, I agree. Good point !

DD

Axiom

That sounds like a cure to addiction to me.

I know I didn't even recognize a lot of what I needed to work on until I quit drinking. The drinking hid so much of me. Also, I would never get any of the work done because it would be easier to keep drinking to the solution.

My AV really likes the idea of doing it this way though.

How would it make it easier to regain your life?

Grungehead

You makes some good points DD. The problem I had was that as long as I was drinking there wasn't a chance in hell I would commit to working on my recovery, so I had to do both at the same time. By that I mean abstain from alcohol/drugs, but at the same time immediately jump into an intense program of recovery...without delay! That's why I'm a firm believer that if one chooses AA as their program of recovery they need to jump into the steps with both feet. I know there are differing opinions on this, but when I got sober this last time I knew I had a short window of opportunity in which to put down the drink and start identifying and fixing the underlying problems that fueled my addiction. If I hadn't approached it head on this way I'm not sure I would be above ground today.

Nonsensical

Interesting hypothesis. Like Grungehead said, I don't think it would have worked for me because I never would have taken fixing me seriously while I was still drinking.

Different strokes for different folks, though. What's your plan?

doggonecarl

Sounds like a plan to keep drinking, to me.

I don't know who these experts are you are citing. An recovery "expert" to me is someone who got sober and stayed sober. All the experts I know quit drinking, and then did the work to stay sober.

anattaboy

I mostly use my personal exp. and it sez "Don't drink no matter what"---so far, so good.

GroundhogDay

I can relate. I had to remove my biggest trigger before I even had a chance at recovery. However, if you wait until all your triggers are gone, you will wait forever. I recommend that you remove the triggers you have control over immediately, and learn to live with the others. That, in turn, requires a sober outlook. So, as others have already said, you need to stop drinking first, or at least at the same time.

sva777

I have to say the first 5 or 6 weeks after I quit drinking were miserable but I did not crave any drinking because of how crappy I felt. Harder were the following weeks when I started to feel more normal and my AV started to give me reasons to drink again.

ru12

Well, complicate it as much as you will, but in my case I simply had to make a decision to stop and NEVER drink again. And that is what I have done. Do I do other things to try to make myself healthy and happy? Yes! But none of it would matter if I didn't stop drinking and refuse to take another drink.

AddictGuy

I think to speak about how it is really done, you have to have done it. I know like with my weight loss goals for instance, I imagine people asking me how I did it. Like I said, I imagine it because, until I do it, no one is going to ask. What a pisser.

Ruby2

I didn't know what needed fixing until I got my head cleared. Most of the immediate problems evaporated when I quit drinking. But long term? Since my head was always in a haze I couldn't focus on what was a trigger, what needed fixing. I wrote and wrote and journaled and journaled for YEARS trying to figure out what was wrong with me. My drinking got progressively worse during the time I was trying to figure it out. Only when I put down the drink entirely did I start growing and learning.

It becomes easier to stay stopped once momentum is going but it isn't easy. I still stay sober one day at a time at 15 months. Is it less likely I won't drink today? Yes. Is it a guarantee? No. I can't coast or rest on my laurels.

fini

couldn't deal with inner self and madness while actively engaged in the madness of it.

can't see any way to "recover" why still drinking. no doubt for me that not drinking had to come before i could do anything else about "recovery".

JT0626

This for me too! I had to stop drinking first so that I could seek help for my emotional & inner issues. Once I stopped drinking that's when I was capable of dealing with my "stuff". Drinking numbed my stuff down.

Anna

Yes, I had to stop drinking first, too. There was no way I could figure out what to do regarding my underlying issues, nor did I care, when I was drinking.

Jen73

Hello DD, awesome philosophy there. Your right it is hard to stop drinking, 39 days of being sober. I am not saying it was really easy for me to quit drinking cause us alcoholic have a emotional attached to the substances.

We all think, crave, and act differently, Some people might not be heavy drinkers like others are, so it might be easier for them to stop drinking quickly. If you are chronic and hardened drinker, it may not be possible for you to put a full stop to drinking on the day one. The best course would be to cut down the quantity and keep reducing it progressively. Draw a plan of reducing its intake on periodic basis and fix a date for a final full stop.

I wasn't a heavy drinker, that drinks everyday, every morning and so on.. I drink 2-3 days and normal would be at night until morning. I couldn't stop when I had it in my face.. Something really happen to me and that is how I quit drinking. Yes, I still have cravings and I have to eat something to get that craving to stop. Sometimes that craving can last for 45 minutes. Very irritating!!

I also go to AA meetings, I tell myself and everyone else who is around that today I am not drinking today!! it works really well for me. my behavior has changed to be really good, I lost weight, I am feeling really good.

I still struggle in time that I just want to drink a beer to wash things away, but I have trained my brain to say NO, because wash things away is the first thing why I got myself this way in the first place. Nothing good!!

If you think they should called "Experts" put "Recovery" FIRST...and stopping drinking/using second then let that be your motive for your recovery.

My motive to stop drinking is to go to my meeting 3 days a week, have fun with my family that I couldn't before, and just grow up and stop party all the time. I am getting to old for drinking like this and I have!!

Awesome thread!!

MIRecovery

The first step for me was abstinence. The second was getting outside professional help. The third was a long term program of recovery.

I do know one thing for certain. I am incapable of out thinking my addiction. It is what I do that makes the difference.

2muchpain

This might sound a little nuts, but if I decided to follow the suggestions the OP has stated, I could see me thinking that if I worked on my personal issues while drinking, and dealt with them, than I could probably manage to drink moderately since I have worked out the personal problems that was causing me to drink so heavily, if that makes any sense. John

tnman1967

Yes, then if you are an alcoholic you will be back right where you started.