LBrain

brilliant!

chiquen81

That's exactly what the addiction specialist hinted at... that's quite interesting...

But, I am not really sure how it is a threat to her. Maybe the fact that it might force her to think about her own drinking patterns?

suki44883

Exactly! It's quite common for friends and sometimes even family members to react when someone close to them stops drinking. If drinking is all they had in common, then they feel like they've lost a drinking buddy. Not necessarily a friend. It does force them to look at their own drinking habits.

Aellyce

That's what I was hinting at. If she does have a drinking problem and is in denial about it, seeing you making efforts in recovery might well tap into her mind and bother her under the surface without her clearly being aware of what exactly happens, and she may be sending you those messages driven by those feelings she's not even aware of. Does that make sense to you? This might also explain her problems with true participation with AlAnon, as you described, if she has internal resistance against it due to her own hidden issues. I'm just speculating here, take it with a grain of salt

In any case, I agree with the others in that it may be better for you to try not to delve into her motives right now, because it has the potential to distract you in ways that might be dangerous to your sobriety. I spent many years analyzing whatever I could about my ex... it nearly cost me my sanity. Not because it was such a hard task to dissect and understand him, but because doing this while we are emotionally very fragile and involved ourselves is not the best service to ourselves.

I might maybe ask myself, why are her motives so important to you? Maybe you could ask your addiction specialist to help you answer that; it might actually be more useful information about your motives than whatever your friend is thinking? Just an idea.

chiquen81

I didn't think AlAnon was for alcoholics. I didn't think that this meant she had to stop drinking. Or maybe she is going to AlAnon because she is still blaming it on her ex and hasn't come face to face with the fact that she may actually be in need of an AA meeting? Again, can AlAnon people drink?

And of course, I wouldn't be so obsessed with this whole situation if there weren't some jealously on my part when she sends me a yummy looking cocktail and telling me "look, i can walk around the streets with booze and it's illegal to do that where you are"...etc.

Part of me gets mad that it hasn't caught up to her like it has caught up with me, she's able to hold a relationship (one where she texts and takes pictures of him, sends them to me every minute of the day lol) She does have huge bags under her eyes, is quite overweight and has high cholesterol, though.

Pouncer

Don't go down that road. She sounds like a horrible friend, you don't want to be a bad friend either. If she is not doing it on purpose, then she is oblivious. Either way it is not good for you because it threatens your sobriety, and thus, your life.

I am still not technically sober. I am pretty jealous of those who have made it past the hump; I can't wait to be a good friend, because I haven't been a good friend since I dropped out of the sober world. I am tapering over a week. Just remember how bad you felt when you decided to quit. She will make it harder.

I agree with others who say the reasons she would send those pictures are not important.

Marcher13

chiquen maybe you are giving too much attention to this? Earlier you posted

There you have it, you don't like her and she has done this before. Block her on the phone and give your sobriety and you the attention you deserve.