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Originally Posted by FeenixxRising
(Post 5254973)
Definitely try other meetings headcase. Groups can vary quite a bit; the same meeting in the same place, but on a different day can have a different group dynamic. The meetings I've attended have had a decent cross section of people; some members come in suits or other business attire, others come wearing nursing scrubs and there is usually a biker or two with the requisite long hair and long beards. I'm disciplined about my personal appearance and hygiene, but I try to keep an open mind in meetings and focus on the personality and what hope and inspiration members may offer. And I also find value in spending time with people from different walks of life. |
We've all seen a man at the liquor store beggin' for your change The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes "Get a job, you ******* slob, " is all he replies God forbid you ever have to walk a mile In his shoes. 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom that said he was in love He said, "Don't worry about a thing, baby doll I'm the man you've been dreaming of" But 3 months later, he say he won't date her or return her calls And she swear, "Goddamn, if I find that man, I'm cuttin' off his balls" And then she heads for the clinic And she gets some static walking through the door They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner And they call her a ***** God forbid, you ever have to walk a mile in her shoes. 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like I've seen a rich man beg, I've seen a good man sin I've seen a tough man cry, I've seen a loser win And a sad man grin, I heard an honest man lie I've seen the good side of bad and the downside of up And everything between I licked the silver spoon, drank from the golden cup And smoked the finest green I stroked the fattest dimes at least a couple of times Before I broke their heart You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start I knew this kid named Max Who used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs He liked to hang out late He liked to get ****-faced and keep the pace with thugs Until late one night, there was a big old fight and Max lost his head He pulled out his chrome .45, talked some ****, and wound up dead Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain You know it comes that way At least that's what they say when you play the game God,for it you ever have to wake up to hear the news. 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like to have to lose. |
AA is not for me either, but not for the same reasons. I don't like the structure, I don't like the silly things you have to say - "hello John" "thank you John". I think it's ridiculous. And I don't like the prayers. But everybody must deal with things their own way. It clearly works for a lot of people, but not for me. I've replaced AA meetings with this forum. I speak with who I want to speak to and I have friends and tons of support when I need it. I'm also able to give all of this back to fellow friends here when they need it. :D |
The only time I look down on people is when my arm is extended to help them up. I have found the way people look has nothing to do with the qualities that really make a difference like honesty, humility, integrity, love, and spirituality. Blessed are the weak for they shall inherit the earth |
Originally Posted by tomsteve
(Post 5255815)
We've all seen a man at the liquor store beggin' for your change The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes "Get a job, you ******* slob, " is all he replies God forbid you ever have to walk a mile In his shoes. 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom that said he was in love He said, "Don't worry about a thing, baby doll I'm the man you've been dreaming of" But 3 months later, he say he won't date her or return her calls And she swear, "Goddamn, if I find that man, I'm cuttin' off his balls" And then she heads for the clinic And she gets some static walking through the door They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner And they call her a ***** God forbid, you ever have to walk a mile in her shoes. 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like I've seen a rich man beg, I've seen a good man sin I've seen a tough man cry, I've seen a loser win And a sad man grin, I heard an honest man lie I've seen the good side of bad and the downside of up And everything between I licked the silver spoon, drank from the golden cup And smoked the finest green I stroked the fattest dimes at least a couple of times Before I broke their heart You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start I knew this kid named Max Who used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs He liked to hang out late He liked to get ****-faced and keep the pace with thugs Until late one night, there was a big old fight and Max lost his head He pulled out his chrome .45, talked some ****, and wound up dead Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain You know it comes that way At least that's what they say when you play the game God,for it you ever have to wake up to hear the news. 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like Then you really might know what it's like to have to lose. Headcase I have to admit I took offense to your post, as some of those you described are images of the people that have been so true and sincere to me in my sobriety. AA is not a country club, and I saw a comment in here about a dress code in Chicago? Lol you all keep coming back! We have a couple meetings around here where its like a beat the Jones's group of people. You know what, I will shake every persons hand in that place coming straight out of work. Hands clean, but will be covered in the grime of my day at work. Why do I do that, cause my sobriety is more important then missing a meeting I enjoy because of not having time for a shower after work. Open your mind and you might be able to meet the next most important person in your life. |
Originally Posted by Crasfd
(Post 5255921)
AA is not for me either, but not for the same reasons. I don't like the structure, I don't like the silly things you have to say - "hello John" "thank you John". I think it's ridiculous. And I don't like the prayers. But everybody must deal with things their own way. It clearly works for a lot of people, but not for me. I've replaced AA meetings with this forum. I speak with who I want to speak to and I have friends and tons of support when I need it. I'm also able to give all of this back to fellow friends here when they need it. :D Hi. I strongly suggest you keep AA in mind if and when whatever worked for you fails. Yes AA works when we work it, the trouble is so many revert back to their old ways in most methods which leads to relapses. BE WELL |
One of the first things I was told was that "no one in here is any better than anyone else". Love that song Tomsteve. This line could describe the rooms of AA: I've seen a rich man beg, I've seen a good man sin I've seen a tough man cry, I've seen a loser win And a sad man grin, I heard an honest man lie I've seen the good side of bad and the downside of up And everything between |
Hi again. I’ve been to many thousands of meetings over the years and I learned that what’s spoken from the heart is the most valuable in my reinforcement of not drinking. Recently at a meeting was a man in his fifties dressed in scruffy motor cycle attire on crutches, as he was speaking he sobbed more and more regarding his past which he was so disappointed in as a role model for his children. He explained what he was doing to change and live in recovery sober. Spellbinding! I’m betting on this man to recover as opposed to those who dressed to get messed up. BE WELL |
I work with "people of the street" -- (I realize that's a choice) There is much wisdom out there from these folks. Some are great examples of acceptance and surrender. I hope you find a meeting that works for you! Principles not the People is what should be considered in this situation, IMHO. I would hate to see you miss what you need. Hugs! And to add to the songs, What if God were one of us? Just a stranger on the bus? "you know what I've done, but not what I've been through. If you were in my shoes, you would fall the first step." |
Yea, all the smoking is a pain in the arse. If folk would just move a few yards downwind the problem would be solved. Personally I didn't stop drinking only to die from lung cancer. I hope people get sobER AND stop smoking. |
Originally Posted by DuhDave
(Post 5255651)
Judgemental are we ? DD I won't reveal the circumstances under which I've left meetings, in part because I'm not interested in inciting further provocation. |
EndGame-for the record, I didn't find your post judgmental at all--I'm not sure he was referring to you? Just my two cents :-) |
I'm glad that headcase and Miss Daisy are trying AA. It has certainly helped me stay sober since 1988. My first AA meeting was awful, from my perspective, but I had no other choices, so I seized onto it and have never let it go. I sure didn't quit going to bars just because I went to one I didn't like (or in my case was banned from a particular establishment), so I encourage all newcomers to attend a variety of meetings until they find one they like. |
Not attending AA because you didn't like the look of the people and they smoked!!!! Really? how sad,if that is how you think I doubt any meeting will suit you. |
Originally Posted by headcase1
(Post 5254890)
I'm sober since 12/28/14 and have been doing good on my own. I see a lot of references on SR about other peoples experiences with AA so I gave it a try last night. I'm sorry to say I didn't care for the experience.I am an alcoholic like the rest there but c'mon can't you put a little effort into your appearance? One guy was sober 28 years must have been when he got his last haircut. Most opted for cologne in place of a shower. And everybody smoked until they came inside, my family asked if I had been smoking because I had the lingering odor on me. I like the message there & will try other meetings in my area, I hope I can find one I like but I'm not ever going to fit in with the group from last night.You can be an alcoholic without looking like you just woke up from a 2 day bender. others should put in a little effort on their appearance. Maybe you should put some effort, whether at meetings or out in public, at humility? To see your no better than anyone else? Look across at others and not down on them? I could be wrong though. |
Originally Posted by IOAA2
(Post 5255981)
Hi. I strongly suggest you keep AA in mind if and when whatever worked for you fails. Yes AA works when we work it, the trouble is so many revert back to their old ways in most methods which leads to relapses. BE WELL |
Headcase, You many not have intended but have now solidified my decision to check out an AA meeting. Showers are so overrated. And what is up with 'the bidet' never catching on in North America? It is not like it is an advanced technology. I clean up nicely but my preference is to remain a dirt ball. I'm pretty sure that AA will have me as I am. Kiel is not that big of a place, so it sounds a bit like you are picking on your neighbors. Nonetheless it is good in life to be aware of one's own biases. Now you can always be certain that a particular gathering is hygienic with a minimum number of cigarette smokers before you go so you do not waste your time or have the content and purpose of the meeting obscured. Hey, there's a lesson in everything right? Congrats on your continued sobriety. |
Letting go of judgement based on appearance is a good idea. Just think.... All the other people may well have been thinking "well heeellllloooo.... Check out Mr / Mrs snooty over here." https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/i...Ya_Doy2Lg0_qOa Jus sayin |
I have always loved that Everlast song. Ted Bundy had a very nice outward appearance....just throwing that out there. |
Originally Posted by Della1968
(Post 5257326)
I have always loved that Everlast song. Ted Bundy had a very nice outward appearance....just throwing that out there. |
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