FeenixxRising

Do what works best for you Pouncer. I've learned that many roads lead to the same place.

Hobbers

Just giving you a big remote (HUG) is all.

Pouncer

Thanks, everyone.

I set up a taper schedule already. It will take a week. I have done it before; I can do it again. My drinking is out of control and I just want it out of my life forever. Walking, running and hiking helped in the past, so I will do what already works. The main issue is that I don't ever convince myself that I can moderate. I can't. I just can't. It is like saying goodbye to a friend. It really will be hard, but this is much harder.

Thursday 8
Friday 6
Saturday 4
Sunday 4
Monday 2
Tuesday 1
Wednesday 1
Thursday 0
Sober For Good

MissDaisy

Pouncer I'm pulling for you! I'm also a mother and my last blackout of 2 minutes has me away from my children going on 3 weeks this Sunday. It's killing me because they are my world! I used to drink after they went to bed but I also CANNOT moderate. I drank until I was ready to pass out because I thought I needed it to sleep.

I cannot drink anymore. Not one drink. I did a 5 day detox inpatient and I thank god that I was able to. It was a crash course in Recovery and I was medicated so the symptoms of withdrawal weren't so bad.

I'm also attending AA everyday. I'm not religious but I am spiritual so I just replace all the religious talk with my spirituality (in my head). I find being around other people, a lot who have been through very similar circumstances as mine, very encouraging. I went to 1 women only group and really liked it. Looking forward to attending more of those.

Best of luck to you and you'll always find support here pretty much any hour of any day!

Pouncer

Oh wow. I have to say, I cannot believe I still have my kids. I was arrested for doing some crazy stuff while day drinking. I have a great husband, I work at home, make good money, I just don't know why I can't handle anything. It really bothers me that I don't know how to self-soothe or wind down.

I hope you get your children back. I am so sorry for you. I drink because of insomnia, too. Nothing like losing your family to make insomnia worse.

Hevyn

Pouncer, You can and will do this. You sound motivated and ready to reclaim your life.

I felt just like you when I came to SR years ago. I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol to help me 'cope'. It wasn't, though - it was making me miserable. My anxiety was through the roof - I was drinking all day and night - waking up in the night to take a sip so I wouldn't shake. Classy. I have 7 years now - the girl whose life revolved around her next drink. I know you will make it through this scary time and get free. Life will be good again.

Pouncer

I just want to say thank you to everyone for taking the time to read my thread and send kind greetings. I have a bit more hope than I did this morning.

resolute50

Rock on, you can do this.

saoutchik

Hi Pouncer,

I'm only 10 weeks sober so I havn't got any advice on how to quit but I think you should stop being so hard on yourself. Surviving cancer is a big deal and it's bound to affect you.

Sending you my best wishes and belief that you can get thru this

MissDaisy

The sad part is I blacked out and hit my husband over 3 hunting guns that he had left out. This was the 2nd time something had happened like this. Last time he left the gun safe keys in the safe. I really wish I was sober at the time or I may not be facing having to prove my sobriety. I was supposed to see my kids this weekend and he agreed they could sleep at my sister's for a night. Now that he's lawyered up all things have changed. His lawyers wants me to only have supervised visits. I really F'd this one up and can only pray I can make this right. My kids keep asking when I'm coming home

lakeofglitter

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I still struggle but it really does get better. I have only been sober a little over three months so I can't speak with much experience. What I can tell you is that it's wonderful to wake up every day without the shame and humiliation after a night of drinking. Most days I hated facing myself in the mirror because of it.

Stay strong and take it one day at a time. I've found that a positive attitude really helps. We aren't battling a friend...we are battling an enemy that wants to destroy us.

Della1968

Get through the next few days and make sure it's the last time you have to feel this way!!

Pouncer

Were things bad in your marriage before you started drinking, MissDaisy? Man, guns and booze are a bad mix. I am so sad for you. I hope you get your children back.

I have so much to be thankful for. I told my husband that this was the end, that I needed beer to taper and I did the same thing as you; he remains supportive. I scratched, bit and swore at him. He called the police a year and a half ago, yet, I kept drinking. He somehow still supports and trusts me. He bought me beer so I can taper.

I really have messed up my kids with all of this. I will never touch a drop of alcohol after the taper. They are worth more than the world. Most definitely worth more than alcohol.

MissDaisy

My husband has been emotional "cheating on me" for years. He doesn't think naked pictures, inappropriate emails and trolling craigslist for hookers is "cheating" hence the quotes. He swears he never slept with anyone but I trust him as far as I can throw him. I've never caught him with his pants down but that means nothing. He was diagnosed as a Sex Addict a few years ago by our marriage counselor. He went to SA a few months but then decided he wasn't an addict and stopped going.

I've stayed for the kids and yes my drinking got worse after years of his crap. I was raised by my Grandfather so I wanted my kids to have both parents in the home regardless of their happiness but look where that landed me. I am thankful, though, to have a chance to literally run to sobriety because my kids mean so much to me. I pray I can keep this attitude and away from my poison (wine).

It sounds like you have a very loving and supportive husband! I think that's going to help you so much in your recovery! If you ever want to talk you can message me! Despite the really crappy stuff I've got going on now, there is this positivity that is radiating from me that I haven't seen years.

Pouncer

Oh man, we have a lot in common. My husband is a porn addict. He has relapsed several times. Not that I should bring this up, because drinking is my fault alone, but it really sent me careening in the world of alcohol addiction. He saw a therapist for years; she knew everything, but I didn't. It is/was really hard to handle. He never spent money on it, and also never talked to anyone. He has been drinking wine instead. Not very healthy either way.

You do sound positive, very inspirational. I really hope you get your children back. I hope you feel fully empowered again.

Buggirl

You can do this if you really want it! Look what you have already survived! Don't let alcohol be the one that gets you! We are all here for you!