What's The Point?
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 418
Originally Posted by bigsombrero 
Hope you're feeling better. I understand - in early sobriety it's very common to experience some deep depression. I dealt with a lot of the things you are dealing with also. I started to think about how the universe is this huge place and we are just floating on a speck of dust, and what we do here really doesn't matter on the grand scale, etc, etc. And that might be true.
But remember that our existence and consciousness is quite a gift! We have the ability to ponder such things, which is itself amazing. The bottom line is that we must play the cards we're dealt. There is no re-shuffling of the deck. And it could be worse - you're in a warm climate with a beautiful ocean nearby, you can appreciate and enjoy such things.
What about travel? That might perk you up. Asia, Europe, North America, South America, Africa...there's a lot to see out there! I traveled solo to many of these places - you don't need friends, just your sobriety and an open mind. Sometimes a change of scenery does wonders and opens up new possibilities. In the meantime, just take it one day at a time. Stay sober, and start to think about something that will excite you. All the best to you, congrats on 40 days!
But remember that our existence and consciousness is quite a gift! We have the ability to ponder such things, which is itself amazing. The bottom line is that we must play the cards we're dealt. There is no re-shuffling of the deck. And it could be worse - you're in a warm climate with a beautiful ocean nearby, you can appreciate and enjoy such things.
What about travel? That might perk you up. Asia, Europe, North America, South America, Africa...there's a lot to see out there! I traveled solo to many of these places - you don't need friends, just your sobriety and an open mind. Sometimes a change of scenery does wonders and opens up new possibilities. In the meantime, just take it one day at a time. Stay sober, and start to think about something that will excite you. All the best to you, congrats on 40 days!
I enjoy thinking about what our purpose in the universe it but I've come to accept that I will probably never know or that our purpose is whatever we choose it to be because we have the power of self-determination.
I would like to travel as well - I'd love to see Northern America to try and figure out why it's so crazy, Europe for the history and to learn about my ancestry and Asia to experience the different culture. Will probably want to go to Africa and South America after that :P
Thanks again mate - I appreciate your reply.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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if you get out and see North America and turn OFF the TV - you'll start to see pretty quickly it's not as crazy as it seems.
at the common, everyday level - it turns out that much of America is filled with caring, genuine, good people who want to see the world a place of goodness and who are willing to be a part of that goodness.
I've found that to be the case throughout America in my own travels... and Asia... And India.... and Europe... And Australia....and New Zealand.... wherever there are people, actually....
at the common, everyday level - it turns out that much of America is filled with caring, genuine, good people who want to see the world a place of goodness and who are willing to be a part of that goodness.
I've found that to be the case throughout America in my own travels... and Asia... And India.... and Europe... And Australia....and New Zealand.... wherever there are people, actually....
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
I am glad to not be tasked with figuring out how to fix everything - for years I believed it was incumbent on me to do so. Typically, at the bar with friends we would wage war against the evils and idiots of the world solving most problems quickly........
Happiness and life well lived is in the minutia - the daily ordinary things I now attempt to do to their utmost brings continuing joy.
I say L'Chaim!- (to life!) whether I am making a pot of coffee, creating a sand which or interacting with the clerk at the C-store. For me today life great mysteries of contentment are found in the margins - not In the blinding light of greatness, but in the smile, the handshake, the pat on the back, the atta bouy............
Glad you're here!
keep coming back
Happiness and life well lived is in the minutia - the daily ordinary things I now attempt to do to their utmost brings continuing joy.
I say L'Chaim!- (to life!) whether I am making a pot of coffee, creating a sand which or interacting with the clerk at the C-store. For me today life great mysteries of contentment are found in the margins - not In the blinding light of greatness, but in the smile, the handshake, the pat on the back, the atta bouy............
Glad you're here!
keep coming back
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: WI
Posts: 529
Boy, do I ever get this. Your philosophy and mine sound very similar.
I'm old. I'm battle-scarred. I've got a genetic disease that is inexorably eating up my insides, and there ain't a thing I can do about it.
I watch cunning, ruthless, selfish people "win", while good, honest, decent people get rolled into the ditch. It happens all the time. Even when I was young, I wondered why the universe was so damned malevolent.
I have a dear friend who was prostituted by her mother when she was 11 years old. She got pregnant and they removed her uterus and fallopian tubes. She was repeatedly abused by both parents. She ran away and lived with a guy who stabbed her several times. Now, she is dying from AIDS. She's the kindest, sweetest and most forgiving person I've ever met, yet she has been made to suffer her entire life.
I hate living in a universe were sh!t like this is more routine than exceptional.
Millions of people are dying RIGHT THIS SECOND from starvation.
And I'm not supposed to drink.
I'm old. I'm battle-scarred. I've got a genetic disease that is inexorably eating up my insides, and there ain't a thing I can do about it.
I watch cunning, ruthless, selfish people "win", while good, honest, decent people get rolled into the ditch. It happens all the time. Even when I was young, I wondered why the universe was so damned malevolent.
I have a dear friend who was prostituted by her mother when she was 11 years old. She got pregnant and they removed her uterus and fallopian tubes. She was repeatedly abused by both parents. She ran away and lived with a guy who stabbed her several times. Now, she is dying from AIDS. She's the kindest, sweetest and most forgiving person I've ever met, yet she has been made to suffer her entire life.
I hate living in a universe were sh!t like this is more routine than exceptional.
Millions of people are dying RIGHT THIS SECOND from starvation.
And I'm not supposed to drink.
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Millions of people are dying RIGHT THIS SECOND from starvation.
And I'm not supposed to drink.
And I'm not supposed to drink.
But me staying sober, and actively doing something to change my world...there's a chance I might just leave the world a little better than I found it
D
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
it happens...
but I'd observe that your "and I'm not supposed to drink" has nothing to do with any of the other stuff....
yeah, there's crap in the world.
but for every crap there's at least a dozen beautiful things.
'not supposed to drink'?
well hey - drink if you want to. That's the choice we all have. But by virtue of just BEING HERE right now it occurs to me that somewhere inside you there is a nugget of awareness that there is more....
that there really IS beauty in the world and that despite all the negative things we could choose to focus on, there's a way to live joyfully.
(Spoiler alert; there is)
but I'd observe that your "and I'm not supposed to drink" has nothing to do with any of the other stuff....
yeah, there's crap in the world.
but for every crap there's at least a dozen beautiful things.
'not supposed to drink'?
well hey - drink if you want to. That's the choice we all have. But by virtue of just BEING HERE right now it occurs to me that somewhere inside you there is a nugget of awareness that there is more....
that there really IS beauty in the world and that despite all the negative things we could choose to focus on, there's a way to live joyfully.
(Spoiler alert; there is)
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 418
Originally Posted by JD4010
I'm sorry for the negative post. But I've got a lot of bad energy today. Not quite sure what is going on.
Sorry if I sent you on a tangent mate. I'm trying to be positive as well.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by JD4010
You'd think I would be "living joyfully" now that I'm divorced, eh?
On edit: 14 days of sobriety today.
On edit: 14 days of sobriety today.
but still; through it all I have kept a relentless focus on goodness and the positive.... it really does help. Joy is always there if we choose to seek it.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by JD4010
I'm sorry for the negative post. But I've got a lot of bad energy today. Not quite sure what is going on.
Yesterday I hit 9 months - it took several months to reach a point for this old drunk's head to clear just to start to make sense of myself and the world around me.
I hope for those of us older folks that we give ourselves a chance to clear the cobwebs. They didn't get their overnight!!!
Keep coming back~
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Hi Kiddo... hold on to my arm and keep looking at this old silly lady clown of time... for this group holds me tight .. no matter what . and I have children hubby and family yet... but when you are pulled like this to the abys the only thing is back up.. Sweetheart back up..
Sunday in public I had this feeling that you are doing.. it pulled on me so hard... and I love helping out at events at state fair park.. for I play with silly old men that are drinking. and laughing.. families.. crying children and noise everwhere.. but it hit me hard.. my hubby was beside himself.. what Toots What.... I said it was my cold giving me a pull around...
It wasn't life was pulling me in to a dark dark dark place.. my mind would not let me go.... everything I keep trying to balance was falling all around me... and at 65 years of age I am gettin g tried of trying to keep the spin in balance... money kiddo I live in my Sons home if not for his good grace I would not have a roof over my head... my hubby spends faster then I can find the job to make it care for us... and kiddo If I had an extra 10 cents I would buy a chocolate... but nope just keep trying......
you scream here cry let it out.. don't save it for late NOW DO IT NOW.. for we are all here and in the same sinking boat.. in this crowd we will stay afloat we will not go quitely in to that good night OH HELL NO for we are the HUMAN BEING and WE WILL DO THIS and BE BETTER.. am I shouting you bet your Hairy Ass Iam... hugs hugs hugs.. and so many prayers from a Mom a Clown a Lady in spinning unbalance.. ardy
Sunday in public I had this feeling that you are doing.. it pulled on me so hard... and I love helping out at events at state fair park.. for I play with silly old men that are drinking. and laughing.. families.. crying children and noise everwhere.. but it hit me hard.. my hubby was beside himself.. what Toots What.... I said it was my cold giving me a pull around...
It wasn't life was pulling me in to a dark dark dark place.. my mind would not let me go.... everything I keep trying to balance was falling all around me... and at 65 years of age I am gettin g tried of trying to keep the spin in balance... money kiddo I live in my Sons home if not for his good grace I would not have a roof over my head... my hubby spends faster then I can find the job to make it care for us... and kiddo If I had an extra 10 cents I would buy a chocolate... but nope just keep trying......
you scream here cry let it out.. don't save it for late NOW DO IT NOW.. for we are all here and in the same sinking boat.. in this crowd we will stay afloat we will not go quitely in to that good night OH HELL NO for we are the HUMAN BEING and WE WILL DO THIS and BE BETTER.. am I shouting you bet your Hairy Ass Iam... hugs hugs hugs.. and so many prayers from a Mom a Clown a Lady in spinning unbalance.. ardy
Originally Posted by DrunkenDonuts
This will probably be somewhat depressing, so if you're already depressed then I'd advise looking at a picture of a kitten or something.
I'll preface this by saying that I have been off booze for over 40 days now.
I am an intelligent person, but I don't have many of the things that people seem to take for granted, like friends, loved ones, money, dreams, drive, goals etc.
I have a low opinion of the world at large as well, with only 1% of the global population soon to own more than half of all the wealth in the world. People too stupid or apathetic to see that the people they elect in the western world have absolutely no desire to change the status-quo or to help those who elected them. How many teachers or war veterans or scientists or engineers are elected versus lawyers and career politicians? There are numerous examples of the government simply not giving a sh*t.
So screw that - perhaps all you can look for in life is to try and stay under the radar and have your own little happy life with friends and family.
It would be quite nice in my opinion, to have a wife and family to come home to, but I can't see that ever happening.
Between my debts, my lack of social contact, my lack of anyone who actually needs me and my good humour leaving me like water through a sieve, I just don't see the point in carrying on.
Sure I'm sober right now, but if it weren't for the antabuse I would be drunk by now. At least I don't have to think about anything. So what if it puts me in more debt. So what if I die? There is no point in being alive anyway. Even pictures of kittens and puppies no longer do the trick.
I don't believe in any deity, so that ain't going to stop me, and I have read that death by carbon monoxide poisoning is pretty painless, so what is there left?
When you feel like you have absolutely nothing, what keeps you going?
I'll preface this by saying that I have been off booze for over 40 days now.
I am an intelligent person, but I don't have many of the things that people seem to take for granted, like friends, loved ones, money, dreams, drive, goals etc.
I have a low opinion of the world at large as well, with only 1% of the global population soon to own more than half of all the wealth in the world. People too stupid or apathetic to see that the people they elect in the western world have absolutely no desire to change the status-quo or to help those who elected them. How many teachers or war veterans or scientists or engineers are elected versus lawyers and career politicians? There are numerous examples of the government simply not giving a sh*t.
So screw that - perhaps all you can look for in life is to try and stay under the radar and have your own little happy life with friends and family.
It would be quite nice in my opinion, to have a wife and family to come home to, but I can't see that ever happening.
Between my debts, my lack of social contact, my lack of anyone who actually needs me and my good humour leaving me like water through a sieve, I just don't see the point in carrying on.
Sure I'm sober right now, but if it weren't for the antabuse I would be drunk by now. At least I don't have to think about anything. So what if it puts me in more debt. So what if I die? There is no point in being alive anyway. Even pictures of kittens and puppies no longer do the trick.
I don't believe in any deity, so that ain't going to stop me, and I have read that death by carbon monoxide poisoning is pretty painless, so what is there left?
When you feel like you have absolutely nothing, what keeps you going?
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
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ok I need a tissue good thing Andy the print guy left to go heavens know where... I love you all so much. really... hold each other tight for this is a safe and good place in the crazyness we call life... ardy
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