NearSyncope

I posted a longer version of this in the women's forum but thought I would try here too. I've been having some major health issues and throughout this coming week I'm having tests done for cancer and other problems. The doctors found a mass in my chest and I have also had many other serious, unexplained symptoms.

Tomorrow I'm having an endoscopy and I'm really freaking out. Worried at what they'll find... Worried that they won't find anything and they'll continue to have no idea about what's going on or how to fix it... Worried about other things too.

And basically, I really, really want to drink tonight. I have 4 months and I know drinking won't help in the long run. I just want to numb the terror. I'm on medical leave from work and I've been to probably twenty 12-step meetings in the past four or five days. I've been doing my best but often in the meetings I keep getting triggered, getting really anxious, having cravings, etc. My therapist is out of town and unreachable and I still haven't been able to find a sponsor. I'm trying but I'm really struggling.

zerothehero

Hold on. I've had my share of health issues and was grateful to be sober. Most meds don't mix well with alcohol, and healing requires proper rest. Take care of yourself. Cancer, in particular, feeds on sugar. Alcohol is the last thing you need if the tests are positive. Even if they're not. Breathe. Stay in the moment. The future is unknown, but you can make good choices in the present.

Anna

I responded in the Women's Forum.

Please don't drink because you could make things worse in many ways. Hopefully by the end of the week, you will have some answers to your health issues and then begin on the journey to good health.

Dee74

I agree with the others - drinking on this won;t make you feel better - you'll just feel worse.

I'm sending you prayers and best wishes for a positive outcome in all of this

D

strategery

Drinking is not going to solve any of the issues you're going through. Try and focus on the positives going for you right now. Just because they found a mass, does not mean it is malignant. See what happens with the appt, try not to worry too much and hang in there. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

Soberwolf

I agree also drinking will only make it worse (((NearSyncope)))

Sending positive thoughts & strenght

Della1968

Best wishes to you.

Thatdeliveryguy

Oh my how frightening! What the drink going to do for you? I don't know that you will find relief there other then feeling good for a few hours.

Test you need test, find out whats going on. A mass can mean a plethora of things, we won't know till you're tested.

Its a bit late now, but if you've drank you you've drank. In that instance, wake up hold your head up high and try again. if not then awesome job, lets get those test results and take life from there.

In any case keep posting no matter what. We value you, and want to know whats going on.

Gardennerd

I had the same issue, don't relapse over it. I had an MRI and it turned out to be just fat. They are going to remove it, but it's not cancer. Stuff like this is much easier to handle without a hang over!

tomsteve

I was diagnosed stage 3 metastatic melanoma 13 months into recovery. I had quite a few things help me through it. One was honestly knowing a drink wouldn't solve anything.
By that time I had a God in my life, one with all power and would help me with all my problems.
Part of the help he gave me was the fellowship of AA. They shared experience that helped me through it.
I had no clue what was good for me. My thinking was all jacked up
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives ya something to do but gets ya nowhere.
If ya pray don't worry. If ya worry don't pray. Not easy. I spent a lot of time praying.
I knew absolutely nothing about treating cancer or even any of my health problems, so it was time for me to let God and the doctors do what they do best and keep my nose out of it.
I found the root of my fear on this- death. Not death itself. I was ok with that. It was the timing.
There was a lot I went through for about 3 or so years fighting cancer. I went to many meetings, talked to many alcoholics, helped others when possible, and very important was keeping the line of communication open with God.

Near, don't let them thoughts talk ya into a drink. It won't help. I'm sure you already know that. If ya don't have phone numbers yet, get some and call em. If ya do have phone numbers, use them.
Keep going to meetings. ask at a meeting, if/ when chair asks if anyone has a topic, to bring it up. Let them know what's happening and the mental obsession is messing with ya.
Stay in contact with your HP.

Prayers out for ya.

NearSyncope

Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate everyone's support. I'm at the hospital now waiting, and I am still freaking out. But, I didn't drink.

Will keep everyone posted. Thanks again.

tomsteve

Myth: People with cancer shouldn't eat sugar, since it can cause cancer to grow faster.

Fact: Sugar doesn't make cancer grow faster. All cells, including cancer cells, depend on blood sugar (glucose) for energy. But giving more sugar to cancer cells doesn't speed their growth. Likewise, depriving cancer cells of sugar doesn't slow their growth.

This misconception may be based in part on a misunderstanding of positron emission tomography (PET) scans, which use a small amount of radioactive tracer — typically a form of glucose. All tissues in your body absorb some of this tracer, but tissues that are using more energy — including cancer cells — absorb greater amounts. For this reason, some people have concluded that cancer cells grow faster on sugar. But this isn't true.

However, there is some evidence that consuming large amounts of sugar is associated with an increased risk of certain cancers, including esophageal cancer. It can also lead to weight gain and increase the risk of obesity and diabetes, which may increase the risk of cancer.

From the mayo clinic.

newpage119

Good for you, NearSyncope! Good luck today!

wehav2day

Near,

So glad that you posted here honestly when you were so stressed and wanting to drink. I really wish I'd had your courage in the face of anxiety!

Sending you prayers, healing thoughts and all around good vibes.

No matter what you find out today, you have every reason to stay sober. There isnt any possible outcome that is better with a drink.

Please keep us posted, so we can keep sending you good vibes. Take care, wehav

SoberCAH

I truly admire how you are handling this health challenge (i.e. by going to so many meetings and by not drinking).

Please keep us posted.

We are praying for you.

Jen73

Near, when I read your message my heart sank knowing how devastated you must feel. Know that those of us across the country through this group are all there with you, and are here to give you strength when you need it. You are in my prayers daily.

SoberLeigh

Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way, NearSyncope.

Let us know how things go.

Great job not drinking!!!!!

NearSyncope

Hi all. Thank you again to everyone who responded. It did make a difference to me. Still waiting for biopsy results, have more tests tomorrow on the mass in my chest and my stress, anxiety, pain, and cravings are out of control.

I've been trying to go to multiple meetings a day, been reading recovery literature, seeing mental health professionals, and volunteering, but I'm struggling so badly. I tried to go to a meeting today but got so agitated (and was getting so many calls from medical professionals during the meeting) that I had to leave. Just now I thought I'd go to a movie to just try to take my mind off of things and get through another few hours. Unbeknownst to me this is one of those luxury theaters and there's a full bar right next to the snack bar. Unbelievable.

I still haven't drank but I want to, so, so badly.

NearSyncope

Also... I'm so sorry - for some reason I wasn't able to see some of the latest posts on this thread till now. Thank you so much for your words of support. I've never ever had anyone say these things to me. Thank you.

Anna

I'm continuing to sending positive thoughts your way.