Ways to say no?
 

Co worker is nagging about coming to drinks at hotel. I've already said I can't but they keep up insisting. I will politely say no thanks. I work with different people every week so it's not like they already know I don't drink... Just looking for some ways you say no in these situations. There's absolutely no way I'm going :). Thanks guys!

If you don't see them often, why not just say you are on antibiotics? I know in my drinking days, I've heard that excuse used by people a lot. Often by people that otherwise would have a few beers.

No thank you works fine for me but if they are insisting and you are hesitant about telling them to back off just add:
I have other plans tonight
and leave it at that.

I'm in situations like this often. Is it that they want to discuss something related to work, or just hang out? If the former, I would offer an alternative scenario for meeting. I typically say I'm not a drinker but will be happy to get together to talk. Then if conditions permit, let them choose the circumstances, or I offer something (eg. a coffee or lunch meeting another day). If it's just for hanging out, I think a simple "thank you for thinking about me but I prefer not to go out tonight" would most likely suffice. If they insist, I cut that line of conversation short. No need to excuse yourself at all.

I just say I don't drink. Lots of people don't drink. If they push it then that's just all the more reason to decline the invitations. At this point I'm comfortable "having drinks" with people, but I'm no longer tempted to drink alcohol. I order club soda and lime, and if they ask I just say I don't drink. If they ask why I just say, "I'm not good at it." That tends to throw people and they shut up. I say the same thing about weed. And it's true enough.

Hi, Haennie.

Yeah I just say I don't drink...I am a proud non drinker.
makes it easy if you'll never see these folks again anyway?

D

You tell them you're "a proud non drinker"? That would get people to back off. I don't know if I'm proud yet, but I have more self respect than when I was drunk half the time.

:lmao I don't verbalise I'm a 'proud non drinker', no - just that I don't drink :)

I'm proud, not antagonistic, lol :wild

D

Hi Alynn, I try to just say "I don't drink" but when people won't accept that, I've given the following explanations. They are all true for me, but you are welcome to them if you think they would work. I know it is a royal pain in the ass when people won't accept a simple "I don't drink."

"I can't drink with the blood pressure medications / heart medications / allergy medications I'm on." (If it's a group that has any kind of sense of humor, I have found that humor can be really effective to defuse and deflect… sometimes I'll add a joke at the end and then shift the conversation. Something like, "unless you want to scrape me off the floor.").

When people push for an explanation I've also told them I can't drink because of stomach problems. That's also true for me.

With either explanation, if they insist that you really CAN drink, you can tell them you'll puke. On them. That's usually a conversation ender.

I've also gotten people to stop pressuring me to drink by saying something like "I don't drink. I know you guys will understand that and I really appreciate your understanding." You can lay it on with varying degrees of thickness along those lines. Some people have no shame, but with others I've gotten this to work.

If you really wanted to shut people up you could probably tell them you don't drink for religious/spiritual reasons, which if you're in AA, I guess you might consider to be true.

Good luck!

http://jessruns.com/wp-content/uploa...2763437358.jpg

No thanks, I'm not drinking today.

I need not mention to them that,
I also didn't drink yesterday.

MM

I just say "no thanks" and if they insist, I ask them why my not drinking bothers them... That puts them on the spot and they usually back off. If they're really rude and persist, I just say "what part of NO don't you understand..."

One of the things I do if someone is pestering me for a drink is I say I'm busy, but ask if they'd be interested in going out for breakfast, for lunch, or for a hike on another day.

I just say i dont drink if they ask again i tell them no again and make it clear im not drinking

Try to remember, you do NOT owe anyone an explanation as to why you drink or not. I made up an excuse the first time it happened, I lied, and it felt wrong and I felt angry that I had allowed someone to push me to lie. 'No, thanks' is all you need to say.

Thanks guys! Feels good to chat with others that go through same experience! I hate being anto social but I am only at 24 days since my last 3 day binge. I just do not want to subject myself to it at all. Thanks for replies!!!

Alynn, out of curiosity, what did you say that worked for tonight?

I'm also a proud nondrinker. I say noooo and go for a diner instead. I haven't have anyone insist yet.

Jennifer

I know I'll be presented with this question this week with work outings and I was just going to say that I'm on a really strict diet and workout regimen. I think I'll just say I don't drink instead. Great thread!