Roller coaster of emotions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Roller coaster of emotions
I was prescribed Methadone, Norcos & Clonopins for over 10yrs. ( for rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and PTSD. )
Then sound the same time, last yr., w/out going into much detail, something illegal happened @ my doctors office and my hubby & I were kicked to the curb by them ( my hubby is also disabled. )
At the very same time, my mother died & I was to give the eulogy ( while going through life threatening withdrawals. )
Enter a "new friend" & he had something to get me better...H...not sure if I'm allowed to say that word ( because I made a post on another website a few days ago & was kicked off for illicit drug use??? )
Anyhoo, both my hubby & I were hooked. But, it always felt so dirty to me, so I checked both my hubby and I into different rehabs @ the end of Aug. ( I knew the benzo withdraws would last a very long time because I had been cut from them cold turkey 4yrs previous & I still wasn't better 3mos later. )
So, I finished 10 days in rehab & went home to continue my withdrawals & w/the exception of suboxine, I've been clean ever since!
My hubby quit after 3 days of rehab & came home and continued to use. He went back a mo. later & was successful ( for awhile. )
I just quit my suboxine 11 days ago ( have been going through quit a bit of withdrawals ( but nothing like methadone, h or klonopin, in which you feel like and want to die! )
But the usual suboxine withdrawals ( from what I've read on forums. )
Then, 3 days ago, my hubby told me he had relapse again ( starting about a mo. ago. )
I was shattered!!! And pissed!!! And my own resolve, which had been very strong ( if it took over a yr., I was going to make it. )
And I did street drugs for the 1st time in the 1st time in 6 mos. ( no opiates or benzos. )
My goal ( if it could be attained, as I have no idea how long these suboxine withdrawals last ) was going to try to feel better by our 20yr. anniversary, on Apr. 1!
Plz help me???
I'm a bundles of nerves!!!
Then sound the same time, last yr., w/out going into much detail, something illegal happened @ my doctors office and my hubby & I were kicked to the curb by them ( my hubby is also disabled. )
At the very same time, my mother died & I was to give the eulogy ( while going through life threatening withdrawals. )
Enter a "new friend" & he had something to get me better...H...not sure if I'm allowed to say that word ( because I made a post on another website a few days ago & was kicked off for illicit drug use??? )
Anyhoo, both my hubby & I were hooked. But, it always felt so dirty to me, so I checked both my hubby and I into different rehabs @ the end of Aug. ( I knew the benzo withdraws would last a very long time because I had been cut from them cold turkey 4yrs previous & I still wasn't better 3mos later. )
So, I finished 10 days in rehab & went home to continue my withdrawals & w/the exception of suboxine, I've been clean ever since!
My hubby quit after 3 days of rehab & came home and continued to use. He went back a mo. later & was successful ( for awhile. )
I just quit my suboxine 11 days ago ( have been going through quit a bit of withdrawals ( but nothing like methadone, h or klonopin, in which you feel like and want to die! )
But the usual suboxine withdrawals ( from what I've read on forums. )
Then, 3 days ago, my hubby told me he had relapse again ( starting about a mo. ago. )
I was shattered!!! And pissed!!! And my own resolve, which had been very strong ( if it took over a yr., I was going to make it. )
And I did street drugs for the 1st time in the 1st time in 6 mos. ( no opiates or benzos. )
My goal ( if it could be attained, as I have no idea how long these suboxine withdrawals last ) was going to try to feel better by our 20yr. anniversary, on Apr. 1!
Plz help me???
I'm a bundles of nerves!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Boston, Mass
Posts: 1,004
Hi, kzaug2014! I have to admit that much of your post is foreign to me. Alcohol was my DOC, and I have little experience with prescription meds. I'm sure someone who knows a thing or two about a thing or two will chime in shortly, though.
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Welcome to SR, kzaug. This is the newcomers forum so you are in the correct area! Although there are many areas. One which may help is the substance abuse forum and the link is below. Forum rules mean that we cannot give medical advice, only personal experience. Your last suboxone dose was 11 days ago. What kind of relapse support is available for you through the sub prescriber?
Have your tried any support meetings like narcotics anonymous?
Wishing you the best. There is a lot of support and guidance here on Sober Recovery...you are in a good place.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
Have your tried any support meetings like narcotics anonymous?
Wishing you the best. There is a lot of support and guidance here on Sober Recovery...you are in a good place.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 36
Hi kzaug, I wish I had some more wisdom for you but just wanted to say hi, welcome, and I am pulling for you. I was also prescribed opiates for severe chronic pain for many years and I know how painful the withdrawal is, and how hard it is to stop using something that takes your pain away. Trying to get clean/sober is hard enough… When you have painful chronic health issues it's much harder. I'm sure some other people with more experience will be a long but just wanted to say hi and send some good thoughts.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,374
Hi kzaug2014
you're very welcome here and no, you didn't mess up - this is the newcomers area and you're a newcomer.
The substance abuse forum may lead you to others with more direct experience tho.
After reading your posts it seems to be you could benefit from a support system more than just your husband.
You'll certainly find a lot of support here and some ideas on where to find support in the real world too
glad to have you join us
D
you're very welcome here and no, you didn't mess up - this is the newcomers area and you're a newcomer.
The substance abuse forum may lead you to others with more direct experience tho.
After reading your posts it seems to be you could benefit from a support system more than just your husband.
You'll certainly find a lot of support here and some ideas on where to find support in the real world too
glad to have you join us
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Ty for replying, Verta! It means a lot to me!
I went to rehab in Aug.2014 & quit all drugs, w/the exception of suboxine ( from a doc. )
My doctor wanted me to take 8mg/day for a yr., but I never took more than 4mgs & was down to 2mgs for the last 2 mos.
In the end of Dec., my sub doc made what I took as an innappropiate remark to me ( reference to Lady Godiva. )
So, I decided to quit seeing him & quit subs on my own ( had 2mos of subs saved up & I quit straight from 2mg & I just learned from these websites that I should have gone down to .25mg and even .125. ) But, that's irrelevant now! I quit 11days ago!
2 days ago, everything got the best of me & I smoked a $20 rock ( very little, like 5mins worth, but I caved all the same. )
I'm just so tired of all the withdrawals!
And am very worried about my hubby too, as he is a Brittle Type 1 Diabetic.
I want to soak up as much info about support, relapse, stopping use, ext...As I can.
Ty for listening to me!
I went to rehab in Aug.2014 & quit all drugs, w/the exception of suboxine ( from a doc. )
My doctor wanted me to take 8mg/day for a yr., but I never took more than 4mgs & was down to 2mgs for the last 2 mos.
In the end of Dec., my sub doc made what I took as an innappropiate remark to me ( reference to Lady Godiva. )
So, I decided to quit seeing him & quit subs on my own ( had 2mos of subs saved up & I quit straight from 2mg & I just learned from these websites that I should have gone down to .25mg and even .125. ) But, that's irrelevant now! I quit 11days ago!
2 days ago, everything got the best of me & I smoked a $20 rock ( very little, like 5mins worth, but I caved all the same. )
I'm just so tired of all the withdrawals!
And am very worried about my hubby too, as he is a Brittle Type 1 Diabetic.
I want to soak up as much info about support, relapse, stopping use, ext...As I can.
Ty for listening to me!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Ty everyone!
I have 0% support ( in fact, just the opposite... I'm always the strong one, but I'm so tired of not having any support back, ya know? )
And not only do I have no support, my hubby actually doing the drugs I quit 6mos ago.
I have 0% support ( in fact, just the opposite... I'm always the strong one, but I'm so tired of not having any support back, ya know? )
And not only do I have no support, my hubby actually doing the drugs I quit 6mos ago.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Ty everyone!
I have 0% support ( in fact, just the opposite... I'm always the strong one, but I'm so tired of not having any support back, ya know? )
And not only do I have no support, my hubby actually doing the drugs I quit 6mos ago ( while I'm detoxing from subs, no less. )
I have 0% support ( in fact, just the opposite... I'm always the strong one, but I'm so tired of not having any support back, ya know? )
And not only do I have no support, my hubby actually doing the drugs I quit 6mos ago ( while I'm detoxing from subs, no less. )
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