Kafkaesque

I already know what most of you are thinking - 'Vegas? Really?' And you'd be right. I thought (like an idiot, I must admit) that I could drink normally. That I could PROVE i don't have a drinking problem for a few weeks and then come to Vegas and have a good time... Well, today is our last day here. After 7+ months of not smoking and almost 2 months of sobriety, I gave it all away to get smashed and lose more money than I could afford. I remember trying to use a gift card my mom gave me for Valentine's Day at the ATM. I lost an expensive earring and my student ID (which doesn't even matter since my last name has changed but it had more sentimental value.)

I know deep down in my heart I will never, ever drink again. But I know my husband is sick of hearing that and gets annoyed anytime I talk about drinking, staying sober, etc. So, I have come to my second family - my SR family. I have to pull myself out of the whole I have dug for myself otherwise I could lose my husband or at the very least, his love. I need help. Please tell me how you all got sober. How long it takes for that stupid AV to **** up. If your loved ones were annoyed by your talking about your AV and how you dealt with that. And any other advice would be great as well. My birthday is in just over a month and I refuse to be drunk during it or under 30 days sober.

Thanks everyone!

strategery

Kafkesque- I am glad you're back here and working on your sobriety again. One of the things I have had to do to keep myself sober is keep myself out of any environment I would be tempted to drink. I have had to go out of my way to protect my sobriety.

The good thing from this experience, is you have learned you cannot drink normally.

Just to add, my husband was getting annoyed by my drinking. I decided I didn't want to jeopardize that relationship. It took me 2 weeks for AV to not be super bad, but it crops up every so often to where there are good days and bad days.

Kafkaesque

Thank you Stratergy. You are right, I'm no longer in denial. I can't even count this entire experience as a loss because at least now I'm past my mistakes. I just want to get better. I have always felt like being drunk was the most amazing feeling in the world. I know it's not and anytime I have been drunk, I felt stupid and regretted it instantly. But I hate that my AV creeps up. I really need to learn how to develop will power or go to AA meetings or something because obviously what I'm doing isn't working

strategery

Kafkaesque-do you have a plan in place when those cravings hit? One of the things I had to do when I was in early sobriety was to distract myself. Some days I couldn't be in the house since the urge to drink was super intense.

One of the things that really helped me in early sobriety was looking at what was triggering those cravings (especially emotions). Sometimes by just identifying why I was feeling the urge to drink, it helped me recognize triggers. Another tool that I have used is, "I want to drink today because....". Sometimes if you use that, it can be rather interesting to see what you get back. There have been several times I literally laughed since it was completely absurd why I wanted to drink.

After identifying how you want to drink, you can then think about how drinking would solve that issue, problem, feeling. Alcohol generally doesn't fix anything. It just gives temporary respite against certain unpleasant emotions which are then compounded after drinking. You can also play the tape forward; if you drink, what is going to happen as a result?

I am not sure if you have checked out the SR chat meetings, but I have found them to be very helpful. I've picked up a lot of various tools from individuals along the way

Alynn

I have to remove myself from drinking environments altogether. Maybe someday I will be able to handle vegas or resorts etc... Knot now. I'm glad your back and working on sobriety. I'm sorry your husband isn't more supportive. We're here for you!

ScottFromWI

We all took different paths to getting sober....AA, AVRT, SR itself, rehab, detox, counseling, reading, meditation, and the list goes on. The common theme though, no matter what method, is dedication to sobriety and acceptance of the addiction. There is no "magic" bullet, pill or method that with cure you. It will take time and effort on your part and most likely require you to do things you don't want to do. For example, you may need to change who you spend time with, or where you spend it.

Regarding our spouses, there is nothing you can say that will change their view of your addiction. Action ( not drinking specifically ) will. We lose others trust with our lies...only time and sober time at that will make a difference.

PurpleKnight

It might be time to reassess what activities and people you are hanging out with, your last thread read:

The answer is stop putting yourself in situations where alcohol is flowing, if it means sitting in for a few weekends, not hanging out with people, then that's what needs to be done.

You have to make Sobriety happen at all costs!!