Hi.. new here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nottingham Uk
Posts: 59
Hi.. new here
I've been sober now for 12 days..I went through a community detox at home after drinking every day for 2 years. My drinking turned me into a vile person, lying, stealing,causing so much hurt to my family..I honestly don't know why my husband is still here! I would drink as soon as I got up and continue all day..BUT..I would deny it even though it was blatantly obvious to everybody..and then hide the evidence in increasingly bizzare places, which of course I then forgot about..it would be discovered and I would then either be too drunk to care or completely deny it was anything to do with me! Despite the fact I stunk of booze, couldn't walk in a straight line or string a sentence together I continued to feign absolute shock and horror if anyone even suggested I'd been drinking. My family honestly deserve a medal for putting up with my behaviour!
Anyway..the thing is..I really am proud of the last 12 days, I really didn't think I'd get through one day. However the problem is that basically I don't trust myself not to go and buy that drink in one of my weaker moments. It scares me. I analyse the situation over and over and I come to the conclusion that I don't know how I'm actually not doing it. I know that might not make sense but its the only way I can explain it. My husband keeps all the cash and cards at the moment, at my request, because I'm too frightened I'll just cave in. I know its early days but it does worry me..
Anyway..the thing is..I really am proud of the last 12 days, I really didn't think I'd get through one day. However the problem is that basically I don't trust myself not to go and buy that drink in one of my weaker moments. It scares me. I analyse the situation over and over and I come to the conclusion that I don't know how I'm actually not doing it. I know that might not make sense but its the only way I can explain it. My husband keeps all the cash and cards at the moment, at my request, because I'm too frightened I'll just cave in. I know its early days but it does worry me..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nottingham Uk
Posts: 59
Thankyou..I think I need some coping strategies! I'm off sick from work ( long term) and due to some anxiety/panic issues that I've had for years l find it almost impossible to go out anywhere alone. So l probably have too much time on my hands and quite frankly I'm bored now I'm not falling into a coma every afternoon! I never knew that were so many hours to fill in a day..
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi angel 
welcome aboard
I had no confidence in my ability to remain sober either - but the people here really help. You can post or read here 24 hours a day - we'll get you through it.
You can do this - I know, because I did
D
welcome aboard
I had no confidence in my ability to remain sober either - but the people here really help. You can post or read here 24 hours a day - we'll get you through it.
You can do this - I know, because I did
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and good for you.
I had a tendency to be too concerned with the what ifs of the future. I needed to concentrate on the NOW.
The now for me was/is not drinking one day at a time in a row by keeping occupied which included walks, meeting non drinking friend and family and I went to a lot of AA meetings to learn how to act and react without relying on alcohol. Sometimes the road is bumpy but the meetings gave me the answers I needed to stay sober.
Another great source of info to be practiced is on this site from many good participants.
BE WELL
I had a tendency to be too concerned with the what ifs of the future. I needed to concentrate on the NOW.
The now for me was/is not drinking one day at a time in a row by keeping occupied which included walks, meeting non drinking friend and family and I went to a lot of AA meetings to learn how to act and react without relying on alcohol. Sometimes the road is bumpy but the meetings gave me the answers I needed to stay sober.
Another great source of info to be practiced is on this site from many good participants.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nottingham Uk
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by sprout50 
Congrats on 12 days! Just focus on today and then tomorrow, rinse and repeat. You can do this and welcome to SR!
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