also new here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 19
also new here
Okey,
i've been checking this forum here for quiet some time but i think it's time to introduce myself.
I'm 42 years old en been drinking since i was about 16 years old i guess. I've always been drinking a lot. My friends also drink a lot but there's quiet a difference with them and myself. I always drink faster, drink stronger beers, i'm the first who's gonne order a new bottle of wine in the restaurant, the one who's gonne drink more at home etc.
And it mostly ends with a black out. The word i hate most in my life. After every black out i need to call a friend to ask what did i wrong this time. And then always the shame and keep saying to yourself it's gonne be the last time
Well in juin 2014 i really wanted to do something about it. My wyfe had it also with me and we made an appointment with a psy. I told the psy that i wanted to be like al other "social" drinkers. Just drink some beers and then stop. And i didn't want to hear about stopping all the way. My psy said that that was impossible for me, after i told my story (she already knew that i never could be a so called social drinker). But hey she knew that i wasn't ready for a full stop so she gave me Selincro. That's a new medicine that helps you stopping to drink after a few beers or drinks.
Well, anyway i was very focused on that selincro and that worked some time. But in september i had some mayor relapses. Went back to the psy. And even then i didn't want to stop fully. The psy gave me antabuse and the plan was to take the antabuse on a regular base, but if i wanted to go to a party or something like that then i would stop taking the antabuse some 3 days before.
Well again this didn't work at all. After some time i didn't take the antabuse anymore but said to my wife that i took the antabuse and i was starting to drink without knowing someone.
Half of februari i was so messed up from the alcohol that i was really getting depressed; but this time it was sooo different now i'll could never be a social drinker. The psy knew that from the first time that i met her but she wanted to let it know to me by trial and error. And indeed now i know i'm a "black out alcoholic" So from that day on i'm taking antabuse every day and it's going fine with me! It's the only solution, it's definitly black or white.
I'm not saying i'm never gonne drink again but every day that i don't drink i'm happy. And i know for sure that social drinking is never gonne work for me and that's the biggest leason i learned in years..
i've been checking this forum here for quiet some time but i think it's time to introduce myself.
I'm 42 years old en been drinking since i was about 16 years old i guess. I've always been drinking a lot. My friends also drink a lot but there's quiet a difference with them and myself. I always drink faster, drink stronger beers, i'm the first who's gonne order a new bottle of wine in the restaurant, the one who's gonne drink more at home etc.
And it mostly ends with a black out. The word i hate most in my life. After every black out i need to call a friend to ask what did i wrong this time. And then always the shame and keep saying to yourself it's gonne be the last time
Well in juin 2014 i really wanted to do something about it. My wyfe had it also with me and we made an appointment with a psy. I told the psy that i wanted to be like al other "social" drinkers. Just drink some beers and then stop. And i didn't want to hear about stopping all the way. My psy said that that was impossible for me, after i told my story (she already knew that i never could be a so called social drinker). But hey she knew that i wasn't ready for a full stop so she gave me Selincro. That's a new medicine that helps you stopping to drink after a few beers or drinks.
Well, anyway i was very focused on that selincro and that worked some time. But in september i had some mayor relapses. Went back to the psy. And even then i didn't want to stop fully. The psy gave me antabuse and the plan was to take the antabuse on a regular base, but if i wanted to go to a party or something like that then i would stop taking the antabuse some 3 days before.
Well again this didn't work at all. After some time i didn't take the antabuse anymore but said to my wife that i took the antabuse and i was starting to drink without knowing someone.
Half of februari i was so messed up from the alcohol that i was really getting depressed; but this time it was sooo different now i'll could never be a social drinker. The psy knew that from the first time that i met her but she wanted to let it know to me by trial and error. And indeed now i know i'm a "black out alcoholic" So from that day on i'm taking antabuse every day and it's going fine with me! It's the only solution, it's definitly black or white.
I'm not saying i'm never gonne drink again but every day that i don't drink i'm happy. And i know for sure that social drinking is never gonne work for me and that's the biggest leason i learned in years..
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
Hi There philippe973
Well really if the days you don’t drink make you happy why risk wasting that feeling , From my experience I had a relapse from a three month sober person because I felt so good about myself ?
Tried the social drinking out for a meal before I knew it I was wasted woke up the next morning feeling sad, low, anxious, all the bad things came flooding back.
I never drank major amounts of alcohol and I never drank everyday but I have found life is so much simpler if I am sober...
Truth being today I have thought about drinking say 25 -30 times and that’s the truth thinking about parties / nights out but I soon kill the idea by reflecting back where I was at the start of sobriety and where I am now and that keeps me going.
Only you can make your decisions but you are in the right place for support and advice so stick around I wish you well..
Hi There philippe973
Well really if the days you don’t drink make you happy why risk wasting that feeling , From my experience I had a relapse from a three month sober person because I felt so good about myself ?
Tried the social drinking out for a meal before I knew it I was wasted woke up the next morning feeling sad, low, anxious, all the bad things came flooding back.
I never drank major amounts of alcohol and I never drank everyday but I have found life is so much simpler if I am sober...
Truth being today I have thought about drinking say 25 -30 times and that’s the truth thinking about parties / nights out but I soon kill the idea by reflecting back where I was at the start of sobriety and where I am now and that keeps me going.
Only you can make your decisions but you are in the right place for support and advice so stick around I wish you well..
Hi There philippe973
Well really if the days you don’t drink make you happy why risk wasting that feeling , From my experience I had a relapse from a three month sober person because I felt so good about myself ?
Tried the social drinking out for a meal before I knew it I was wasted woke up the next morning feeling sad, low, anxious, all the bad things came flooding back.
I never drank major amounts of alcohol and I never drank everyday but I have found life is so much simpler if I am sober...
Truth being today I have thought about drinking say 25 -30 times and that’s the truth thinking about parties / nights out but I soon kill the idea by reflecting back where I was at the start of sobriety and where I am now and that keeps me going.
Only you can make your decisions but you are in the right place for support and advice so stick around I wish you well..
Well really if the days you don’t drink make you happy why risk wasting that feeling , From my experience I had a relapse from a three month sober person because I felt so good about myself ?
Tried the social drinking out for a meal before I knew it I was wasted woke up the next morning feeling sad, low, anxious, all the bad things came flooding back.
I never drank major amounts of alcohol and I never drank everyday but I have found life is so much simpler if I am sober...
Truth being today I have thought about drinking say 25 -30 times and that’s the truth thinking about parties / nights out but I soon kill the idea by reflecting back where I was at the start of sobriety and where I am now and that keeps me going.
Only you can make your decisions but you are in the right place for support and advice so stick around I wish you well..
Hi There philippe973
Well really if the days you don’t drink make you happy why risk wasting that feeling , From my experience I had a relapse from a three month sober person because I felt so good about myself ?
Tried the social drinking out for a meal before I knew it I was wasted woke up the next morning feeling sad, low, anxious, all the bad things came flooding back.
I never drank major amounts of alcohol and I never drank everyday but I have found life is so much simpler if I am sober...
Truth being today I have thought about drinking say 25 -30 times and that’s the truth thinking about parties / nights out but I soon kill the idea by reflecting back where I was at the start of sobriety and where I am now and that keeps me going.
Only you can make your decisions but you are in the right place for support and advice so stick around I wish you well..
Hi There philippe973
Well really if the days you don’t drink make you happy why risk wasting that feeling , From my experience I had a relapse from a three month sober person because I felt so good about myself ?
Tried the social drinking out for a meal before I knew it I was wasted woke up the next morning feeling sad, low, anxious, all the bad things came flooding back.
I never drank major amounts of alcohol and I never drank everyday but I have found life is so much simpler if I am sober...
Truth being today I have thought about drinking say 25 -30 times and that’s the truth thinking about parties / nights out but I soon kill the idea by reflecting back where I was at the start of sobriety and where I am now and that keeps me going.
Only you can make your decisions but you are in the right place for support and advice so stick around I wish you well..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 608
Welcome to SR Phillippe.
I was on Antabuse a few years ago, and if you take the pill of course it helps, but here's the thing (as you know): you have to take the pill. I find it works best if you wake up, and before you have your wits about you, just take it without thinking.
Here is a question: do you enjoy drinking anymore? I have had more than my fair share of blackouts over the years, and I know from experience that it is a terrible feeling. I've woken up on the floor of my apartment, all alone, 20 missed calls, lost wallet, 2 hours late for work, etc. I can't even believe it took me so long to quit, but better late than never. I guess I had to go through the "trial and error" like you did, trying to be a social drinker, but deep down I knew it would never work for me. Like you, I'm not like other drinkers. If I don't have, say, at least 12 beer available to me when I start drinking, I start to panic. What's 6 beer going to do? It's going to make me drive drunk down to the liquor store after I finish them to get more beer, that's what it's going to do.
Anyway, I wish you luck. I've had sober spells over the past few years, and those times have been my happiest times. I get complacent after a month or two or three, and then I start drinking again, only to start the recovery process all over again. This time, I promised myself, will be the last. No more complacency. Living a sober life needs to be the most important thing on any addict's list of values; over and above family, friends, etc. It has to be, because without sobriety, we'll lose it all anyway.
Good luck man!
I was on Antabuse a few years ago, and if you take the pill of course it helps, but here's the thing (as you know): you have to take the pill. I find it works best if you wake up, and before you have your wits about you, just take it without thinking.
Here is a question: do you enjoy drinking anymore? I have had more than my fair share of blackouts over the years, and I know from experience that it is a terrible feeling. I've woken up on the floor of my apartment, all alone, 20 missed calls, lost wallet, 2 hours late for work, etc. I can't even believe it took me so long to quit, but better late than never. I guess I had to go through the "trial and error" like you did, trying to be a social drinker, but deep down I knew it would never work for me. Like you, I'm not like other drinkers. If I don't have, say, at least 12 beer available to me when I start drinking, I start to panic. What's 6 beer going to do? It's going to make me drive drunk down to the liquor store after I finish them to get more beer, that's what it's going to do.
Anyway, I wish you luck. I've had sober spells over the past few years, and those times have been my happiest times. I get complacent after a month or two or three, and then I start drinking again, only to start the recovery process all over again. This time, I promised myself, will be the last. No more complacency. Living a sober life needs to be the most important thing on any addict's list of values; over and above family, friends, etc. It has to be, because without sobriety, we'll lose it all anyway.
Good luck man!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Hi Philippe,
I used to think I could cut down and be a social drinker like you described, but have learned the hard way that I can't stop after a few drinks, so abstinence is the only option for me. It's hard but worth it.
I used to think I could cut down and be a social drinker like you described, but have learned the hard way that I can't stop after a few drinks, so abstinence is the only option for me. It's hard but worth it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 608
Originally Posted by waywardson8260 
Hi Philippe,
I used to think I could cut down and be a social drinker like you described, but have learned the hard way that I can't stop after a few drinks, so abstinence is the only option for me. It's hard but worth it.
I used to think I could cut down and be a social drinker like you described, but have learned the hard way that I can't stop after a few drinks, so abstinence is the only option for me. It's hard but worth it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 19
Hallo all,
thx for your support. First of all sorry for my bad english but i'm not a native english speaker so coming on this boars is also good for my english
@ Clearmind: indeed for me it's easier with antabuse. I take the pill every morning in presence of my wife. So that makes things a lot easier. Quite frankly i don't have the need for drinking for the moment but that's only because i still remember my last drinking days in february.
I always do such stupied things when i'm having a black out. I was on a short ski with some friends and drank three nights on a row (three times black out). Aftwerwards when i saw my creditcard i was really ashamed. I bought bottles of champagne @ 400$. My drinking cost me more than the all vacation. Now i'm suffering he financial consequences of that weekend. then i said it as to be done, i will never drink again. and this time i mean it. (it was not the first time that i bought some things i don't need: fe buying things on internet when i was drunk etc).
Now i just need to clean up all the mess that i made but i never want to go back. No more trial and error just no drinking anymore. And all the money that i've lost i call that "lerning money". But now i'm done with that, back to sports work and family that's my aim
thx for your support. First of all sorry for my bad english but i'm not a native english speaker so coming on this boars is also good for my english
@ Clearmind: indeed for me it's easier with antabuse. I take the pill every morning in presence of my wife. So that makes things a lot easier. Quite frankly i don't have the need for drinking for the moment but that's only because i still remember my last drinking days in february.
I always do such stupied things when i'm having a black out. I was on a short ski with some friends and drank three nights on a row (three times black out). Aftwerwards when i saw my creditcard i was really ashamed. I bought bottles of champagne @ 400$. My drinking cost me more than the all vacation. Now i'm suffering he financial consequences of that weekend. then i said it as to be done, i will never drink again. and this time i mean it. (it was not the first time that i bought some things i don't need: fe buying things on internet when i was drunk etc).
Now i just need to clean up all the mess that i made but i never want to go back. No more trial and error just no drinking anymore. And all the money that i've lost i call that "lerning money". But now i'm done with that, back to sports work and family that's my aim
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Originally Posted by philippe973
I'm 42 years old en been drinking since i was about 16 years old i guess. I've always been drinking a lot. My friends also drink a lot but there's quiet a difference with them and myself. I always drink faster, drink stronger beers, i'm the first who's gonne order a new bottle of wine in the restaurant, the one who's gonne drink more at home etc.
And it mostly ends with a black out. The word i hate most in my life.
And it mostly ends with a black out. The word i hate most in my life.
Other than being 29 right now, not 42, what you said here is EXACTLY the same that happened to me. Started at 16, know that my friends have it under control, but I don't. If I'm out and get just pretty drunk, but not completely trashed, I'd say 80% of the time I'd either stop off at a bar on my way home and order vodka shots (if the liquor stores are closed) or drink vodka when I got home. Just 20% of the time I'd make the right decision and go home, drink water and wake up feeling OK.
Blackouts really are the worst. I can't deal with them anymore. And I know that if I try to moderate and be a "normal social drinker," I'm eventually going to fail and wind up blacking out. It stinks that I can't drink socially like a normal person, but there are a LOT of things that I can think of that would be worse. I need to give up the thought that I can drink socially and focus on being sober. My brain isn't conditioned to be satisfied at buzzed. It's either sober or hammered. That in between setting is nearly impossible to achieve.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
phillippe, that's awesome! I'm at the beginning of Day 19 and it's great going this long without a blackout or a hangover.
What have you been doing differently that is working for you?
How has social/family life been since you've gotten sober?
What have you been doing differently that is working for you?
How has social/family life been since you've gotten sober?
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