1 in 20
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Jeremy... I've been following this post for a little bit now and I have to say I am in awe at how you are deflecting some of the harsher posts. Way to go on that man!
I suggest changing your whole way of thinking. I had a huge "poor me, the whole world is against me" attitude. That kept me in the vicious cycle of sober for a few days/weeks...drinking again. I started to ignore those thoughts and focus on not drinking. Minute by minute. I made small chore lists and have myself a long time to accomplish each one. I set aside nap time because my schedule allowed for that. I DO go to AA meetings. I pick out what I want to hear because I do have a hard time with AA. But some of the people say some really helpful things. I found a meeting that isn't all doom and gloom. It's small, there is lots of jokes and laughing. After some time when issues come up, without even trying I react differently. The brain just needs to heal, you just have to give it time. Focus on the good things that happen in your day. There is always something. It can be as minor as "I am grateful I found that pen I was looking for". Don't put any "buts" after it. "I'm grateful I woke up, but..." Don't even think about it. I was on zoloft for years. I only take half a pill once a week now. My panic attacks and whatever else the doctors said was wrong with me were obviously caused by my drinking and drug use. I want to see you do well. A lot of people do. And I know you can but you have to have to HAVE TO change your thinking. Hugs!
Jennifer
I suggest changing your whole way of thinking. I had a huge "poor me, the whole world is against me" attitude. That kept me in the vicious cycle of sober for a few days/weeks...drinking again. I started to ignore those thoughts and focus on not drinking. Minute by minute. I made small chore lists and have myself a long time to accomplish each one. I set aside nap time because my schedule allowed for that. I DO go to AA meetings. I pick out what I want to hear because I do have a hard time with AA. But some of the people say some really helpful things. I found a meeting that isn't all doom and gloom. It's small, there is lots of jokes and laughing. After some time when issues come up, without even trying I react differently. The brain just needs to heal, you just have to give it time. Focus on the good things that happen in your day. There is always something. It can be as minor as "I am grateful I found that pen I was looking for". Don't put any "buts" after it. "I'm grateful I woke up, but..." Don't even think about it. I was on zoloft for years. I only take half a pill once a week now. My panic attacks and whatever else the doctors said was wrong with me were obviously caused by my drinking and drug use. I want to see you do well. A lot of people do. And I know you can but you have to have to HAVE TO change your thinking. Hugs!
Jennifer
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy 
About fatherhood, I enjoyed being a father enjoy being a father. My daughter recently turned 11 she is autistic and has many problems. I fought vehemently for after she was abused on a school bus. I fought for many children with disabilities after that, I worked for a non profit and was quite successful in that position. I am extremely active in her life and call her everyday 2 or 3 times a day. Nobody, not CPS or otherwise has accused me of being a bad father. As a matter of fact, they think I am an addict but not a bad guy.
I wish you the courage to fight as "vehemently" to be the father that she deserves.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by thatdeliveryguy
1 in 20 is all the scientist and skeptics are giving us as a statistic to go one year completely sober. Even the best rehab centers on earth boast 50 percent success rates.
Such a sobering (pun intended) thought and facts. You know, i've been stubborn and fought recovery. You know why, because i want to drink. I can't get over the idea of never drinking again.
Yeah, you lose the world and gain a beer and a good feeling. Seems irrational doesn't it? They debate the idea of it being a "disease" or a character conflict. I have no idea what it is, but i know it owns me and i struggle hard with it.
One year later and literally thousands of responses and i have no more answers because of myself then when i started and i can't quit this habit. I do believe i don't listen. I do believe that i have a hard time turning the corner. People die of this daily, and thats sad, i wonder why they didn't quit? Am i one of them?
Do others feel this way about addiction, like everything is slipping by and you are a passenger and plane thats about to crash. Why oh why can't i let my ego and self go and save myself?
My daughter asked when are you coming home? I told her, " i don't know" she got upset and cried. So much help, so much involvement, so much sound advice and i give a " i don't know" seems helpless at times.
I don't want aa i don't want outpatient, i don't want inpatient, i don't want. Craziness, i've watched so many fall of these boards. I know many went back to the drink, i know many got sober and left. I know of one that literally drank himself to death and another that died of cancer.
Here i am with a chance, a chance i don't take. A place where i am stuck, for a time that feels like forever. This troubles me, i lie and distort the facts, because i want people that actually care to think i am doing better. Well bottom line is i do care, i want to stop, i just can't. Does anyone else relate?
I post all sorts of gibberish, from the insane to the inane, i've gotten help, i don't listen. Its not so sad when you look at it on a grander scale. Confused! Good day people thanks for reading. Sorry for the long post.
Such a sobering (pun intended) thought and facts. You know, i've been stubborn and fought recovery. You know why, because i want to drink. I can't get over the idea of never drinking again.
Yeah, you lose the world and gain a beer and a good feeling. Seems irrational doesn't it? They debate the idea of it being a "disease" or a character conflict. I have no idea what it is, but i know it owns me and i struggle hard with it.
One year later and literally thousands of responses and i have no more answers because of myself then when i started and i can't quit this habit. I do believe i don't listen. I do believe that i have a hard time turning the corner. People die of this daily, and thats sad, i wonder why they didn't quit? Am i one of them?
Do others feel this way about addiction, like everything is slipping by and you are a passenger and plane thats about to crash. Why oh why can't i let my ego and self go and save myself?
My daughter asked when are you coming home? I told her, " i don't know" she got upset and cried. So much help, so much involvement, so much sound advice and i give a " i don't know" seems helpless at times.
I don't want aa i don't want outpatient, i don't want inpatient, i don't want. Craziness, i've watched so many fall of these boards. I know many went back to the drink, i know many got sober and left. I know of one that literally drank himself to death and another that died of cancer.
Here i am with a chance, a chance i don't take. A place where i am stuck, for a time that feels like forever. This troubles me, i lie and distort the facts, because i want people that actually care to think i am doing better. Well bottom line is i do care, i want to stop, i just can't. Does anyone else relate?
I post all sorts of gibberish, from the insane to the inane, i've gotten help, i don't listen. Its not so sad when you look at it on a grander scale. Confused! Good day people thanks for reading. Sorry for the long post.
be that one
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
I am not against AA, I think AA has a lot to offer for a lot of people. Yes I am going to meetings because my alternative is drunkenness. I can't blame AA for my problems and AA can't blame me for my resistance. As a matter of fact its talked about in the BB ( which I have read twice) Bill W himself had to really struggle and knew that alcoholism was a tough one. Its even outlined in the BB where he gave alcohol to someone so they would stay on a train and arrive at there destination without getting off the train. That speaks volumes for how difficult this addiction is that the help you get is a beer and a train ticket and prayer that you get to your destination. That story had a happy ending though.
I thank you for your kind words Mrs Jennifer. I can honestly say I don't hate anyone, I don't carry grudges, and it is what it is. We're all addicts, we all need help, we all have our struggles. I agree with Dee this a family and I stepped out of line and have had much grief over it. One person even said they are "glad" I don't have my daughter. Honestly, that was another thread but the only time I actually got a little upset. Otherwise people are entitled to their opinions and I welcome them.
I know I said AA is a cult, however; I believe we can all have duality in thought. You can explore all your options, have an opinion, but still do something because its working. Crazy right! The people of AA are wonderful, I don't always get their sayings and banter, I am ideological opposed to some of what they do but they are helping me.
Inpatient or outpatient to respond to another question, yes i am actively seeking those as options.
I thank you for your kind words Mrs Jennifer. I can honestly say I don't hate anyone, I don't carry grudges, and it is what it is. We're all addicts, we all need help, we all have our struggles. I agree with Dee this a family and I stepped out of line and have had much grief over it. One person even said they are "glad" I don't have my daughter. Honestly, that was another thread but the only time I actually got a little upset. Otherwise people are entitled to their opinions and I welcome them.
I know I said AA is a cult, however; I believe we can all have duality in thought. You can explore all your options, have an opinion, but still do something because its working. Crazy right! The people of AA are wonderful, I don't always get their sayings and banter, I am ideological opposed to some of what they do but they are helping me.
Inpatient or outpatient to respond to another question, yes i am actively seeking those as options.
New Life Sober
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Noblesville, IN
Posts: 777
Hi Jeremy, I am glad you are going to AA, AA helped me a lot of things. I was never good talking in front of people. Unless I had a drink or so, since I am sober I have to face my fears and get stronger to run those fear over. When I first went to AA I thought they were a Cult, but I realize they are just helping others who have the same problems.
This is how I see AA Jeremy- I am on step 2 and its hard to understand it
1. Alcoholic Anonymous does not demand you to believe anything
2. To get sober and stay sober you don't have to swallow all the step two right now
3. All you really truly need is have a open mind
My sponsor has gotten me learning the 12 and 12 steps and I am learning step 2 right now.
"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"
It took me a while to understand the greater power, which I know now it is something I want it to be. It can be a person or a thing... Its that simple!!
So my Higher power is a owl. Sounds funny huh!! But it has help me believe that they can restore me to sanity.
Just have a open mind, that's how I started to understand things.
This is how I see AA Jeremy- I am on step 2 and its hard to understand it
1. Alcoholic Anonymous does not demand you to believe anything
2. To get sober and stay sober you don't have to swallow all the step two right now
3. All you really truly need is have a open mind
My sponsor has gotten me learning the 12 and 12 steps and I am learning step 2 right now.
"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"
It took me a while to understand the greater power, which I know now it is something I want it to be. It can be a person or a thing... Its that simple!!
So my Higher power is a owl. Sounds funny huh!! But it has help me believe that they can restore me to sanity.
Just have a open mind, that's how I started to understand things.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 419
1 in 20??? 1 in 20???? So many of us here are one in twenty. I have done things that have made me 1 in 20. I have done things that have made me one in 2000. And I am taking about good things. And like someone was saying: That doesn't mean it is random. That doesn't mean it is a coin toss where the coin is way loaded. It means that some of us really reach down inside and some of us don't.
How many football players in high school make it into the pros? But some make it, don't they. And some even rise to the top in the pros.
Odds? Come on.
What were the chances of that sperm fertilizing that egg and making you? You have already beat the odds like crazy.
Deliveryguy, this is nothing more than an excellent opportunity for you to be outstanding. This is the battle of your life. Win it.
You are already in the fight. You are here talking about it, aren't you?
Stop being your own worst enemy. Stop breaking your daughter's heart.
Fight, fight, fight, fight, and when you are done fighting, fight some more.
Think about, and I mean really think about what one day at a time means.
One hour at a time. One scene at a time. One thought at a time.
You are already fighting. Just turn it up a little. Move the needle.
How many football players in high school make it into the pros? But some make it, don't they. And some even rise to the top in the pros.
Odds? Come on.
What were the chances of that sperm fertilizing that egg and making you? You have already beat the odds like crazy.
Deliveryguy, this is nothing more than an excellent opportunity for you to be outstanding. This is the battle of your life. Win it.
You are already in the fight. You are here talking about it, aren't you?
Stop being your own worst enemy. Stop breaking your daughter's heart.
Fight, fight, fight, fight, and when you are done fighting, fight some more.
Think about, and I mean really think about what one day at a time means.
One hour at a time. One scene at a time. One thought at a time.
You are already fighting. Just turn it up a little. Move the needle.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
If there was a best of SR, I would submit the quote life started by you beating out the odds. Holy crap, what an inspiring thoughtful post. I feel like I just go my pep talk from the coach, thank you. That was amazing.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
There is a best of SR Jeremy The Best of SoberRecovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
There you go
There you go
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
and there you go, I need to submit Addictguy comments, I am going to check into it. That is some powerful stuff, he annihilated my statistics comments, and yet managed to leave me with a smile on my face.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: cardiff
Posts: 328
Glad you are smiling Jeremy.
Not drinking makes you have a smile on your face, being truly sober makes you have a smile in your heart, a smile at the very core of your being.
I don't post on here much, and I actually come on to read about you, how you are doing as I have followed your posts from the start.
I've been sober 16months now, the grass really is greener on this side. Join me, take off the gloves and fight your addiction with your bare hands.
Take all the help you can get, if not for you then for your daughter.
I look forward to reading your positive progress. No more excuses man!
Not drinking makes you have a smile on your face, being truly sober makes you have a smile in your heart, a smile at the very core of your being.
I don't post on here much, and I actually come on to read about you, how you are doing as I have followed your posts from the start.
I've been sober 16months now, the grass really is greener on this side. Join me, take off the gloves and fight your addiction with your bare hands.
Take all the help you can get, if not for you then for your daughter.
I look forward to reading your positive progress. No more excuses man!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy
I am sober, I am actively staying sober. I am going to meetings.
I am not here saying I am doing nothing, I can honestly say I wouldn't keep coming back here if I didn't want to get sober. I know plenty of people feel the same why I do. They want to be sober, they know they need to be sober, but they have trouble stopping.
However, I am sober just over a week. And I have read plenty of threads where people stop and start for years. I've watched people drop off the boards as I said to return later. I just kept coming back here whilst relapsing.
I am not here saying I am doing nothing, I can honestly say I wouldn't keep coming back here if I didn't want to get sober. I know plenty of people feel the same why I do. They want to be sober, they know they need to be sober, but they have trouble stopping.
However, I am sober just over a week. And I have read plenty of threads where people stop and start for years. I've watched people drop off the boards as I said to return later. I just kept coming back here whilst relapsing.
Thanks for the update - glad you are sober today, and I hope that you are too. The early days are the hardest, and it's getting through the first few curve balls that life throws us that separates those that stay sober from those that don't.
How you get there is your business. I just want to say that though we will probably never meet - the fact that you are sober changes the world for the better. I don't believe this to be true - I know this to be true. Your actions ripple out in ways you cannot predict.
Be well, and reach out when you need to - it's what we all need to do when things get rough.
Regards,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
I find a lot of inconsistencies in what you post on this thread of yours Jeremy.
Do not misunderstand me, i hope the best for you, but this thread is like a bad book.
Have you ever started a book that was so "all over the place", but you keep reading hoping for a good ending?
I am praying for you and i am waiting for a happy ending.
Keep writing jeremy, you have a lot of editing and correcting to do in this life of yours. Do not worry so much about your ability to write things that are clever...
You will get it right, how can you not with all SR members helping you write this next chapter...
You are one popular delivery guy.
Do not misunderstand me, i hope the best for you, but this thread is like a bad book.
Have you ever started a book that was so "all over the place", but you keep reading hoping for a good ending?
I am praying for you and i am waiting for a happy ending.
Keep writing jeremy, you have a lot of editing and correcting to do in this life of yours. Do not worry so much about your ability to write things that are clever...
You will get it right, how can you not with all SR members helping you write this next chapter...
You are one popular delivery guy.
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