1 in 20
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Jeremy i didnt realise your wife was in IP doing so well that really was heartwarming to read
I wish youd find that extra push and do something similar it would benefit you so much
i think there is so much support for your recovery
What do you truly believe is the next step on your road to recovery IP will help so much
its down on you though ?
I wish youd find that extra push and do something similar it would benefit you so much
i think there is so much support for your recovery
What do you truly believe is the next step on your road to recovery IP will help so much
its down on you though ?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
It's easier with real life support Jeremy, it's not easy but it doesn't have to be excruciating. Your angst regarding treatment reminds me of having toothache but being scared of the dentist. I'm not trying to trivialise your pain but doing nothing will make it worse.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,944
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy 
so much sound advice and I give a " I don't know"
God bless you.. don't give up. you can do it if you want it bad enough.
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy
1 in 20 is all the scientist and skeptics are giving us as a statistic to go one year completely sober.
Mel
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Okay... Jeremy, I very, very rarely do this, and there have not been more than probably 2 or 3 occasions in my life. One of them was with my own father, I will admit. But you know what I want to do now? Shout and yell from the deepest depth of my throat, and as loudly as I can.
Just how long, do you think, can you do this?! Do you realize how you abuse a lot of people on here? People who, themselves may have some difficult struggles (with things like co-dependency etc)? You take advantage of them and the best of SR, while you are really doing nothing at all to advance your state or your contributions here.
Sorry bud but I am angry now and this is something very challenging to bring out of me, but when it's time, it's time. Please stop doing all these distractions and fake attention-seeking endeavors, it clearly does not help you a bit and what's more important, it's abusive, man. SR is a place where it's just too easy for you to abuse.
Just how long, do you think, can you do this?! Do you realize how you abuse a lot of people on here? People who, themselves may have some difficult struggles (with things like co-dependency etc)? You take advantage of them and the best of SR, while you are really doing nothing at all to advance your state or your contributions here.
Sorry bud but I am angry now and this is something very challenging to bring out of me, but when it's time, it's time. Please stop doing all these distractions and fake attention-seeking endeavors, it clearly does not help you a bit and what's more important, it's abusive, man. SR is a place where it's just too easy for you to abuse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Haennie I am sorry you feel that way. Again this is a choice, I can't manipulate anyone, I am not hurting anyone. I've been very honest in my post the last week, I can't make anyone do anything they don't want.
Sorry still love you. I personally have more faith in humanity than that, and I generally think people are intelligent enough to decide for themselves what they would like to do. If you like to strip them of their choice talk to them, not me!!!!
Sorry still love you. I personally have more faith in humanity than that, and I generally think people are intelligent enough to decide for themselves what they would like to do. If you like to strip them of their choice talk to them, not me!!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
Guys
Anna and I don't want to get in a situation where we have to close everyone of Jeremy's threads.
I understand that people are frustrated annoyed or even angry.
I understand that others are livid at those who are angry....
those are all valid positions.
We're like a family here, and sometimes even the best families have rows.
What I would ask everyone to do, before you press the post button is ask yourself
'does this post help Jeremy'?
whether it's hugs and kisses or tough love, that should be the bottom line.
Helping is what we do here.
Thanks
Dee
Moderator
SR
Anna and I don't want to get in a situation where we have to close everyone of Jeremy's threads.
I understand that people are frustrated annoyed or even angry.
I understand that others are livid at those who are angry....
those are all valid positions.
We're like a family here, and sometimes even the best families have rows.
What I would ask everyone to do, before you press the post button is ask yourself
'does this post help Jeremy'?
whether it's hugs and kisses or tough love, that should be the bottom line.
Helping is what we do here.
Thanks
Dee
Moderator
SR
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton, Alberta.
Posts: 398
Mate, sounds like your head is a busy place!
As Shakespeare said ´There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so´. I felt paralysed for years by endless internal arguments: ´but AA is this . . . that person thinks that . . . on and on. Really I was talking myself into the next bender & feeling sorry for myself. I posted drunk here, talked a lot about my suffering and helplessness. Turning point - my wife got pregnant & I realised that if I wanted to be a decent dad I had to ACT. It seemed hard at times but it is as simple as breathing if you really mean it.
I feel for you man, but I feel for your daughter much more.
As Shakespeare said ´There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so´. I felt paralysed for years by endless internal arguments: ´but AA is this . . . that person thinks that . . . on and on. Really I was talking myself into the next bender & feeling sorry for myself. I posted drunk here, talked a lot about my suffering and helplessness. Turning point - my wife got pregnant & I realised that if I wanted to be a decent dad I had to ACT. It seemed hard at times but it is as simple as breathing if you really mean it.
I feel for you man, but I feel for your daughter much more.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Thank you for your quote and message Sobermax, yes the focus has to shift to my daughter. 2/3 rds of my family are now focused on my daughter and becoming a family. My wife has stated that she will leave for good if I don't get sober forever.
I think I've developed a selfishness a way of life that is driven by addiction and wanting to feel good.
I genuinely miss Mrs. T ( her nickname) Mrs. T. and I would play computer games, read (one of my favorite things she adopted) and she loved absolutely loved her nightly ice cream a ritual we had as a family every night. We'd sit and talk over chocolate mint or Rocky road.
I think I've developed a selfishness a way of life that is driven by addiction and wanting to feel good.
I genuinely miss Mrs. T ( her nickname) Mrs. T. and I would play computer games, read (one of my favorite things she adopted) and she loved absolutely loved her nightly ice cream a ritual we had as a family every night. We'd sit and talk over chocolate mint or Rocky road.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy
I think I've developed a selfishness a way of life that is driven by addiction and wanting to feel good.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi Jeremy.
I’ve been a member of the “cult” and sober for +35 years in which I figure I’ve been to 12,000 meetings and have been very active in the program.
I realize we can’t get anyone sober or drunk, the person has got to want to themselves for things to succeed in sobriety.
I didn’t “get it” for a couple years because I think I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober, fortunately I continued going to meetings and finally heard what I needed to hear. It was simple and I’d heard it probably a dozen times before but that moment I was ready.
I realized how undisciplined I was along with other roadblocks I carried in my feelings including fears of many kinds.
This addictive behavior changed slowly the more I accepted and worked on the reasons I drank alcohol. This included many changes that I balked at until it was made clear to me by attending a lot of meetings and observing others that were successful.
It’s long been said that alcohol is like the tip of an iceberg, below the surface are the reasons we drink.
I personally don’t think a 1 year aim is a good goal because if we celebrate at that point getting sober again is extremely difficult.
I’m as old as dirt and could not have got involved in a better organization of helpful caring people, they saved me a lot of misery from happening with their guidance and encouragement.
BE WELL AND WISHING YOU GOOD EXPERIENCES SOBER.
I’ve been a member of the “cult” and sober for +35 years in which I figure I’ve been to 12,000 meetings and have been very active in the program.
I realize we can’t get anyone sober or drunk, the person has got to want to themselves for things to succeed in sobriety.
I didn’t “get it” for a couple years because I think I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober, fortunately I continued going to meetings and finally heard what I needed to hear. It was simple and I’d heard it probably a dozen times before but that moment I was ready.
I realized how undisciplined I was along with other roadblocks I carried in my feelings including fears of many kinds.
This addictive behavior changed slowly the more I accepted and worked on the reasons I drank alcohol. This included many changes that I balked at until it was made clear to me by attending a lot of meetings and observing others that were successful.
It’s long been said that alcohol is like the tip of an iceberg, below the surface are the reasons we drink.
I personally don’t think a 1 year aim is a good goal because if we celebrate at that point getting sober again is extremely difficult.
I’m as old as dirt and could not have got involved in a better organization of helpful caring people, they saved me a lot of misery from happening with their guidance and encouragement.
BE WELL AND WISHING YOU GOOD EXPERIENCES SOBER.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
Well, Jeremy, if you want to live by other people's numbers and don't think it's possible to rise above that, then yes, you've failed. Why not live by YOU, and make your own numbers? Sounds like you've surrendered to be just another a cookie-cutter alcoholic.
Bunnez
Bunnez
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,076
If you didn't want sobriety you wouldn't be here posting. Just make the decision and, commit. You sounded pretty upbeat after the AA meeting you attended. Why not go back? If you truly think it's a cult, then do what other people have said and fake til you make it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
So Jeremy, are you saying that you are not going to get sober? Not trying to be a wise guy. People come here to learn how to get and stay sober, learn about meetings, treatment options and to support one another. You just seem to come here to talk and ponder without seeking treatment and without taking any advice.
Are you trying to get sober? What are you doing to actively stay sober? Are you ever going to try therapy or rehab? Or are you just going to stay the same? Again, not trying to be a wiseguy, I just don't get the point of all of this.
Are you trying to get sober? What are you doing to actively stay sober? Are you ever going to try therapy or rehab? Or are you just going to stay the same? Again, not trying to be a wiseguy, I just don't get the point of all of this.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by IOAA2
Hi Jeremy.
I’ve been a member of the “cult” and sober for +35 years in which I figure I’ve been to 12,000 meetings and have been very active in the program.
I realize we can’t get anyone sober or drunk, the person has got to want to themselves for things to succeed in sobriety.
I didn’t “get it” for a couple years because I think I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober, fortunately I continued going to meetings and finally heard what I needed to hear. It was simple and I’d heard it probably a dozen times before but that moment I was ready.
I realized how undisciplined I was along with other roadblocks I carried in my feelings including fears of many kinds.
This addictive behavior changed slowly the more I accepted and worked on the reasons I drank alcohol. This included many changes that I balked at until it was made clear to me by attending a lot of meetings and observing others that were successful.
It’s long been said that alcohol is like the tip of an iceberg, below the surface are the reasons we drink.
I personally don’t think a 1 year aim is a good goal because if we celebrate at that point getting sober again is extremely difficult.
I’m as old as dirt and could not have got involved in a better organization of helpful caring people, they saved me a lot of misery from happening with their guidance and encouragement.
BE WELL AND WISHING YOU GOOD EXPERIENCES SOBER.
I’ve been a member of the “cult” and sober for +35 years in which I figure I’ve been to 12,000 meetings and have been very active in the program.
I realize we can’t get anyone sober or drunk, the person has got to want to themselves for things to succeed in sobriety.
I didn’t “get it” for a couple years because I think I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober, fortunately I continued going to meetings and finally heard what I needed to hear. It was simple and I’d heard it probably a dozen times before but that moment I was ready.
I realized how undisciplined I was along with other roadblocks I carried in my feelings including fears of many kinds.
This addictive behavior changed slowly the more I accepted and worked on the reasons I drank alcohol. This included many changes that I balked at until it was made clear to me by attending a lot of meetings and observing others that were successful.
It’s long been said that alcohol is like the tip of an iceberg, below the surface are the reasons we drink.
I personally don’t think a 1 year aim is a good goal because if we celebrate at that point getting sober again is extremely difficult.
I’m as old as dirt and could not have got involved in a better organization of helpful caring people, they saved me a lot of misery from happening with their guidance and encouragement.
BE WELL AND WISHING YOU GOOD EXPERIENCES SOBER.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
I am sober, I am actively staying sober. I am going to meetings. I know I referred to them as a cult, but I was talking to the culture all the sayings and the permanency of the program. IE once you start the attitude is you can never stop.
Some of the XA speakers, at links I can't post here even said if getting addicted to AA is what keeps you sober, get addicted to AA.
I am not here saying I am doing nothing, I can honestly say I wouldn't keep coming back here if I didn't want to get sober. I know plenty of people feel the same why I do. They want to be sober, they know they need to be sober, but they have trouble stopping.
However, I am sober just over a week. And I have read plenty of threads where people stop and start for years. I've watched people drop off the boards as I said to return later. I just kept coming back here whilst relapsing.
Some of the XA speakers, at links I can't post here even said if getting addicted to AA is what keeps you sober, get addicted to AA.
I am not here saying I am doing nothing, I can honestly say I wouldn't keep coming back here if I didn't want to get sober. I know plenty of people feel the same why I do. They want to be sober, they know they need to be sober, but they have trouble stopping.
However, I am sober just over a week. And I have read plenty of threads where people stop and start for years. I've watched people drop off the boards as I said to return later. I just kept coming back here whilst relapsing.
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