The Men Who Serve Our Country
 

Hello all,

I am an alcoholic and have been for the past 8 years. I keep a job and have continued to grow in the workplace. I grew up with a father that...... well never mind all that. Let's just say he was hard core about work. I'm trying to balance work and alcohol.

My brother has passed aND my nephew is a Marine. I love reading. I have read many first hand books about Navy Seals and Marines.

I recently turned 30 and that has been hard. As I read and here about the hardships these men face it makes me wonder why I feel my hardships are so bad. I wonder why I just can't man up and fix it.

I just want to know how to let go of my past and win against the alcohol. What does it take to beat this.

Thank you for your time.

Stop drinking.

Repeat after me:

I don't drink

keep repeating

I don't think it is about manning up...It is a different battle...A lot of battles have a beginning, a middle and an end.
Addiction and recovery don't really have and end. (That doesn't mean that it will always be hard.)
I think a lot of things come into play to beat addiction. Different stuff resonates with different people. A good mindset is a great start, desire... so much stuff...
Great things are achieved by putting a good plan into action.
.

Hi Vendetta,

Before I joined SR I had never before considered stopping drinking alcohol, which is really crazy come to think of it now. It was a complete AHA! when I realized that stopping drinking alone was a means to bringing meaningful peace in my life. Alcohol was just one big unending problem. Such a relief to stop.

Hi Vendetta

For me it wasn't so much a battle as it was a long journey to acceptance.

I had a toxic relationship with alcohol...so it made sense to me to remove it totally from my life, for good.

I had to deal with the fact that my life revolved around drinking, my sense of self and my ideas about being a man were wrapped up in my drinking too.

That was difficult but not impossible,

The first step was putting down the bottle and not picking it up again, ever, for any reason.

things got better for me from that point :)

D

You CAN, you just haven't YET.

I am not sure that 'man up' applies, though. It's not about being tough, it's about being aware. Once I was aware that no matter what I did drinking was going to have negative results for my life it wasn't all that tough to stop. Sure there are times when I want to drink again, but once I accepted the only way I could stop losing the drinking game was to not play, the choice was always obvious.

We're all fighting our own battles. Not just addicts, every human. You can't compare your own problems to anyone else's, that doesn't do any good for anyone.

You can give and receive support but in the end it's down to each individual to overcome their challenges. Just focus on yourself and getting better.

welcome vendetta, others have shared good intel on this subject... ;)

maybe I can put it into a soldier's mentality... I assume you are American? Keep in mind this forum is international and people from all over the globe are here.

While I was drinking it was like I was a soldier in vietnam. Trudging through daily in a conflict that had no purpose and seemingly no end. Prime objective was a bottle count.

The AHA! moment. Middle east, taliban, you have an objective, that tall fellow wearing the turbine. You are successful in completing your objective. Your day 1 arrives.

But it's not over. It's never over. For as long as there are peoples unhappy with other peoples, there will be conflicts and war.

Think of your battle with alcohol like the "war" on terror. Never let your guard down.
There are cells lurking waiting to strike at any moment.

Alcohol is the terrorist organization out to get me. Yesterday I was attacked but I put it down quickly. I have a year experience fighting this nasty SOB. Always stay in the fight. Always.

Welcome to SR. Vendetta!

A real measure of masculinity or manliness in the sentiment "man up" is the honesty it takes to face alcohol and beat it. Seems you are facing it here with this post. You don't have to drink again. Ever. You already have that power as a human.

All my best to you! SR is an amazing place!

You mentioned in ur post that you love
to read. Reading and learning is awesome
knowledge and a gift we can give ourselves.

Read and learn about addiction and all it
affects it has on our minds and bodies.

Alcohol and drugs are poisonous and
when it is put in our bodies it begins
to destroy and eat away thru everything
inside us.

Read, research, educated, learn, listen,
absorb and apply many useful, healthy
recovery tools to apply to your own life
so that you can be the best person you
can possibly be. :)

What does it take to beat this/stay sober ?

Acceptance like D said

I and a lot of others have had a toxic relationship with alcohol and its the acceptance of knowing that its like that each & every time that no matter what i wont drink

but thats only the beginning to really start saying your sober takes work i wish it was as easy as just plain stopping

there are mtns, addiction therapists, local alcohol addiction services (dep.where you are in the world)

reading really helps so does keeping a journal you can ask the exellent SR staff to help write up a plan to stay sober

Plus you can ask any of the members here for help advice etc

You have to understand that many service members have the same problem you do. In fact, it's those same hardships you mentioned that drives a lot of them to drink, myself included. I'm an alcoholic and have been sober 81 days thus far. I'm also a former Marine and I started drinking a lot when I got out. I chose to drink my problems away instead of finding other forms of help. We're not superhuman, don't think for one moment that you're less of a man because you have this problem, it's what you do now to fix it that makes a difference. All of us former and active service members who are recovering are right there with you.

Don't give up, stay motivated.

Thank You All for your responses.

L Brain..
I am a professional at bottle counting. It's like the oppressive timeline of how many bottles take care of the addiction while still leaving me functional the next day. While making sure I get those bottles in the appropriate time frame.

I guess I was just looking at it like "why can some people stand firm and reach great goals, while I can't just leave a small container of liquid alone. Knowing full well I should"

Maybe I'm looking at it all wrong. I have always seen things as black and white. No middle ground. I do the math. Weigh the consequences. If i decide it's not the right decision then i don't. If i decide it is the right decision then I do it full blast and it works. Except for alcohol.

As I read everyone's replies it makes me step back and observe. Maybe I need to learn to accept. To become aware. Don't treat this as an immediate win or loose battle, but more as a long term battle.

Although I still feel like I have the answer but I fail over and over and over at implementing the solution.

Thank You All again.
Also I apologize if I offended anyone because I focused on the armed services of America. There are great people overcoming great odds all over our world. I just focused on what I am familiar with.

Welcome aboard Vendetta,

You need only be willing and open.

Keep trying.

It's One Day at a Time.

It's not easy at first but so very worth it.

It helps to find others like you. Done.

It helps to use all the tools you can find.

It helps to realize we are not masters of the universe and that there is something grander out there than we are.

Don't pick up the first drink.

We do it Together................................

I hope the support here can help you get sober for good. It takes some effort but is really worth it. :)

Don't compare yourself to others. Live the best life YOU can and let it be that.

The best step you can take to be the best you is to stop drinking. Alcohol fogs everything- you may feel like you're fine and functional, but it's all a delusion while you are drinking.

The past is just that. The past. Let it go and move on. Grieve, cry, yell, talk to someone, do whatever you have to do to move forward. "Man up" is just what people say when they don't really know what to say. Process your emotions, but then let them go. Don't let yourself feel inferior because of another's experiences. We are all individuals, there is no one way to do anything. We all have plenty to offer, and this means you, too.

Make a good effort at sobriety. It seriously changes everything.

It's totally counterintuitive, but this is one "battle" you win by dropping the rope. Do that, and quit fighting. Alcoholism is a little bit like those Chinese finger traps. The harder you pull and fight it, the tighter it grips you. You "win" by admitting you can't "beat" alcohol--any time you put it in your body it is going to kick your butt. But if you're like most alcoholics, you don't feel "normal" unless you're drinking. So the key is to learn to live normally, and happily, without the need to pick up the drink.

This is why they say quitting drinking is only the beginning. It's living sober that is the challenge. And that requires you to CHANGE, from the inside out.

AA has a great way of making those changes in a very orderly way. There are other ways, but they all involve making some really fundamental changes in how you interact with the world, and with yourself.

Are you up for that?

I am having a really hard time asking for help. This forum feels like no one will ever really know me and that makes it ok to talk about it. But even yet I pull back. Like I shouldn't tell anyone.

I think the alcohol promotes depression. I keep feeling like I'm going to post on here one day and someone is going to be like.... we told you how to fix it you should have listened.

Trust me no one will say that :)

Hi vendetta. I felt uneasy in the beginning too. I was afraid to trust that this place could actually help. The more I talked things over here, the more comfortable I became. I realized no one was going to judge, since everyone understood and had the same challenges. I definitely had a difficult time right after joining - I was here a few months before I found the courage to change my life and let go.

You certainly didn't offend me by mentioning the armed services.

I'm really glad you came here for some help at a young age. I was decades older - my life should've been so different. You can do this vendetta.