Out from the Rabbit hole
 

What a week whew! Now while I consider myself reasonably intelligent, I really blew it this time. You see I am both well informed and well versed when it comes to alcohol; you could say I know just about everything about it...well besides how bad withdrawals can get. As I write this I am exactly three days into recovery, and 15 hours from my last drink (one single 25oz rolling rock). The good news is it seems that I am now on the upswing of things; coherent thought is returning, the ability to function is slowly materializing and I finally slept last night for the first time since the weekend. Eating is still a challenge, and I still feel slightly depressed (with small panic attacks every now again) but I see the light at the end of this.

Before today this was however not the case, and I experienced what I would consider sheer hell. The only reason I believe I was not graced with the more serious withdrawal effects is that I was able to successfully taper off this awful substance with beer (or at least I hope I have; more about that later). Previous to recovery efforts I believe I cleared off an entire bottle of vodka and 20 beers or more over the course of a Thursday to Saturday weekend. Before this I had two days off, but drank moderately during the week before, and heavy on the weekend before (7-8 drinks a night). Even further before I would say I took time off during the week (most of the time) with heavy weekend binging.

Drinking as you can see, is for me a problem, with frequent episodes of daily drinking bouts spaced out over the last two years. Fortunately, I managed to abstain for an entire month after Christmas and this I think gave me some time to reset the clock.

With that said, the withdraws I experienced previous to this afternoon were hell on earth. I am frankly surprised I have been able to make it to this point during the week, but I credit that to incredible efforts of self control, and mental containment. On top of that I did what I would call, a very fast taper before attempting to go CT. For instance, on Sunday I started the day with a mixed drink (estimate about 3 drinks in there), my next drink was a 25oz beer 6 hours later, followed by one more 3 hours after that. At this point I began to withdraw and the next 24 hours were miserable. The next day, I'd reckon I was barely functional but managed to keep self control and taper; 1 25oz beer was consumed at 1pm that day (16 hours after last drink) and another at 12 midnight. This was my last drink. In case of emergency, I have one more 25oz just in case I now finally get the shakes (only very very minor shakes so far) but I almost want to say I am out of the woods as far as serious withdrawal is concerned.

Therefore, to all interested parties; is this a correct assumption? With how I feel now, how I've seemingly successfully tapered is there any continued risk of more serious withdrawal? With what I have been through I can struggle through the continued anxiety but I just don't want to risk any further complications... What do you all think?

Also as a note, somehow I have decided to quit smoking cigarettes as well during this recovery time frame. This was a mistake! I lost my e-cigarette and pack of cigarettes and have thus decided to quit both substances at the same time. I'd imagine this has made things for me a little more challenging...

Hang in there Shane! If you are at all worried please call your Dr. The good news is this hell doesnt have to happen again. I remember how awful it is... Rooting for you. You will feel so much better with time. Stick close to SR :)

Agreed, and as a note to all those reading my post do not use my example of tapering as a method everyone should embrace... the mental agony and potential for problems is profound, all of which can be reduced by seeing a doctor. I simply hope that, I'm now out of the woods for anything truly sinister. Now I need to work on not letting this happen again.

Welcome to SR, ShaneWhite.

There is really no way for us to determine the path of your withdrawal. If you have any concerns whatsoever, a call to your doctor or a visit to the ER would be wise.

Do you have anyone with you?

Congratulations on your decision to lead a sober life, ShaneWhite; glad you found SR.

Right now no, but I'm constantly on the phone with loved ones and I have a friend visiting me tomorrow. My determination and willpower is strong, I just don't wish to feel like I did yesterday again...

The good news is that you never, ever have to go back.

Hi Shanewhite, See a doc if things to hairy. Your experience is a good reminder as to what can happen while drinking. The next 48 hours with zero alcohol will be critical. Best of luck to you.

I agree with soberleigh, if someone can be with you I would take advantage of it. I went through what you're going through once, and I asked my father, god bless him, to be with me. Never again.

Thats my thoughts exactly. My tapering in my opinion is now over, I doubt anything additional will make much of a difference in effects. From what I've experieced it seems like I am well past even the 48 hour mark now (as I only had the equivalent of 3 beers yesterday) but I am being extremely mindful for how I feel. The panic attacks have subsided but the depression is still there, albeit much better. I hope I am out of the woods...

Hi and welcome Shane :)

Everyones different. If you have any concerns I really recommend you see your Dr, and that way you can get rid of that emergency drink too :)

D

Agreed, but if I do it'll have to be tomorrow as we're now getting snowed in here. At this point only very very minor shakes, my pulse is under 100, and I seem to be relativity coherent.

Due to the nature of this problem, I am however concerned but its difficult to distinguish the difference between anxiety and the real thing.

Now 16 hours since my last drink and about 62 hours since the start of my recovery

I'm only sharing this about myself, not offering any medical advice but when the panic attacks subsided, I knew I was out of the woods. The depression could be an entirely different issue altogether. Good job.

That's what I'm thinking... I went from close to 20 drinks a day over the weekend to about 7 then 4 and now none. It seems almost unrealistic to think that yesterday wasn't step one of the CT process given alcohols extremely low half life and what I experienced then versus now.

I'd imagine that tonight I am in for more insomnia, extreme anxiety and possibly another minor panic attack, but am doubtful that I am within the possibility of seizure. Of course, you all cannot advice me on that and that would be for a doctor to tell me.

I'm well prepared to fight this battle, its sheer hell, but I feel prepared to go through it this time. Previous attempts left me unwilling or unable to deal with even the very beginning stages of withdrawal.

My fear, is should this continue; which I won't allow, I will certainly reach a point where what I am doing in terms of recovery becomes impossible.

Now at the 18 hour mark (I miscounted before); I continue to feel nothing terribly adverse, and attribute alot of what I now feel to shock (from the days before) and anxiety. In retrospect I should have probably seen a doctor instead of attempting a fast taper so a warning to all who are considering the same thing.

I am now 24 hours into cessation and 72 hours into recovery. The panic attacks have subsided, but I am still left with crippling anxiety. I managed to eat, and have drunk some tea; surprisingly I feel tired. Given my current progress: 20+ drinks before recovery, 7 the next, 4 yesterday (taken in lots of 2, 12 hours apart) and none today, combined with the fact that I am showing no visible shaking (although at times I feel like I might start shaking if you know what I mean by this) or sweating (besides a little dampness on my palms) am I safe to sleep? My main worry is a seizure or a DT but given how I feel that would be something extreme correct? Just looking for some final advise and peace of mind this evening... really would like to toss the emergency 25oz before bed.

Insomnia can suck. Melatonin can help, or see a doctor to get through the first couple days. I woke up every 20 minutes with cold sweat and crippling anxiety.

Insomnia here too, and when I do sleep, I'm having nightmares about being drunk. Lots of night sweats on the first three nights. HUGE anxiety for the first three days. This morning is Day 4. It's still early but I think I can say the anxiety isn't as bad today. It's good to know we're not alone.

Now 36 hours since my last drink, and 4 days into recovery. No insomnia last night fortunately, although I attribute that to not sleeping since Saturday. Very minor shakes every now and again and the anxiety is still bad but I do think I have now regained control over my faculties and can now function semi normally.

Thus, while it was probably dangerous this does go to show that tapering can actually work; it however requires more willpower and self restraint then one can ever respect until actually well into the process itself. Further, I would not recommend it to anyone, however for me, this withdrawal and what it took to overcome it may be the key to my continued success. Unlike previous times where perscribed medication was used I actually had to earn my peace of mind. The struggle is not over, and I am only 36 hours in, but I think that this is the start of a new day.