Lance40

I've had to spend a long time waiting today in an upscale environment where well dressed people of quietly obvious means drop in to spend some time, often with a glass of wine or champagne before they leave. I can't lie; its been hard and my AV has really worked on me today. It's a bit hard to explain. I haven't been tempted to drink but it's the image and desire to be part of the well heeled crowd and everything that goes with it. I think I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but I feel a bit like a chumpish loser who can't even exercise enough self control to be normal. To be honest it feels really unfair and part of me asks "why me?" There's also another part of me that is the AV voice that tells me "C'mon you can handle this and what you are doing isn't sustainable and it's way overboard". I know deep down that's not true, so drinking is not an option. I don't mean to be a downer by sharing this, but I think it's important I get that AV out into the open so it can't start to gain ground.

barefootjunker

What's unfair about it? Feel fortunate to be we allowed in the building, myself, I'd have been met at the door by the men in black and most probably never gotten my foot in the place.

But you know what? I'm OK with that. I am learning to be happy with me, without the facades, how many of them have that freedom? To no longer have to be anything but who I really am. No more masks to hide behind for the sake of keeping up with the trumps. Lol

Dee74

I think it was way more unfair that I persisted in years trying to accommodate something that made me and the ones I love so dreadfully unhappy Lance.

I love my life now, and I wake up each morning looking forward to a new day. I have a sense of peace and serenity I've never felt before.

If not drinking is the price I have to pay for that serenity - sign me up..

Don't let the AV set the terms of discussion Lance - it hasn't got a leg to stand on.

D

Nowsthetime

You are NOT a chumpish loser!!! That's all AV!

For all you know those people have their own sets of problems...

Thepatman

I personally don't take my inability to control my drinking as a weakness.

I'm intense in everything I do. Nothing wrong with that, I just need to be intense in healthy activities instead of drinking.

SoberLeigh

^^^^ Took the words right out of my mouth.

(Alcoholism doesn't walk past the 'wheel heeled'; it buddies right up with them, too).

Be proud of yourself, Lance; we are.

Lance40

Thanks guys - I guess I didn't really consider that it's all my AV. At least knowing that means I can rest in knowing it's all just a pack of lies. I'm just me, and sometimes I just need the confidence to realize that being me is exactly who I'm supposed to be. My life may be a littler simpler now, but it's a lot easier and happier.

Lance40

Thanks SoberLeigh! That just made my whole day! :-)

ubntubnt

Oh, I can guarantee you the well heeled have more than their fair share of problems....don't be fooled by all that jovial clinking of a champagne glass. Addiction, anxiety and stress does not know how much cash is in your wallet......

AddictGuy

My old buddy, Lance40. There are always those with more and there are always those with less. The really, really cool thing is to be OK with yourself. All of the outward stuff, the pretentious stuff, I find it trite. You can own the world, but if you are a jerk, you are still a jerk.

You are fine, my friend. Just keep on being you.

ArtFriend

Rich Unethical People - Business Insider

thomas11

Hi Lance40, for most of my life I had the perception that the well healed in life always relax with a few drinks. Its part of success. You see it all the time on those damn reality tv shows. My parents are very successful and drink every single night, as do their friends. The way I view it now is that if it works for them, great. It doesn't work for me, I've tried. I feel no shame in that.

ScottFromWI

Our AV would love for us to think that "everybody" has a drink to relax and that we are missing out on all the fun by not doing so. In reality though, it's simply not true. You yourself observed that "often" people had a drink...that means that there were plenty of people who didn't have a drink either. It's a very, very common addictive thought..and we all have had it.

On the "fairness" scale, being an alcoholic probably isn't all that "fair", but life is not fair and never will be. 2 of my kids have nut allergies and have to avoid all foods containing nuts, and we have to be very vigilant about reading labels, etc. That's probably not fair either, but it is what it is. Our kids don't obsess about all the other kids who are eating nuts, they simply don't eat nuts.