Sad Drunk
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by IOAA2 
Hi and welcome.
The road down the recovery path is simple, not always easy and that depends on our memory and our ability to NOT repeat the errors of our past.
It’s simple to say this will work “If we don’t pick up the first drink we won’t have to try to get sober AGAIN.” This fact along with a lot of work has worked for many for a lot of years.
A big help might be remembering how you felt when writing the above post and knowing you never have to feel that way again by keeping sobriety first.
BE WELL
The road down the recovery path is simple, not always easy and that depends on our memory and our ability to NOT repeat the errors of our past.
It’s simple to say this will work “If we don’t pick up the first drink we won’t have to try to get sober AGAIN.” This fact along with a lot of work has worked for many for a lot of years.
A big help might be remembering how you felt when writing the above post and knowing you never have to feel that way again by keeping sobriety first.
BE WELL
The question I keep asking myself is why? Why did I let it go this far and what kind of screwed up logic keeps making me do something that I know is poison.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by maximus97
I feel your pain Drunkwriter. I'm a binger too. It has put the smack down on my life. I'm working on getting out of that miserable, dark place too. Welcome friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by JD4010
I'm only a week into this sobriety thing. Lots of "false starts" in my history. Or should that be "false stops"? Anyway...let's do this together, Drunkwriter!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: LBC, CA
Posts: 203
Originally Posted by Drunkwriter
I just thought of the selective short term memory that I have. I have been binge drinking for twenty years, since college when I found it preferable to living with all the anger from a tumultuous childhood. I used it to medicate, to help numb and then somewhere along the way, as I got everything I wanted and worked hard to overcome the past, I started using my childhood as an excuse to drink. Self pity and self loathing that I had worked on regarding my past came back as I kept disappointing my spouse by binge drinking once a month and sometimes letting go of deep rooted anger that I'm sure alcohol was projecting by this time since my life now is really good. Alcohol seemed to let me wallow. I'm ashamed to say that I think I enjoyed the ability to just let go of all my anger and feelings since I'm usually a pretty level headed calm person. One thing I am sure of is that every time I made a promise to stop, my spouse had hope until now. Now the light is out in his eyes and he has checked out, protecting himself and I don't blame him. I have sunk into a depression, gained weight and haven't pursued my dreams in a long time. My promises sound hollow even to me now and I'm ready to make some real change. The damage may be irreparable to my marriage but I know we love each other. I want to save it if I can and I'm definitely going to save me.
The question I keep asking myself is why? Why did I let it go this far and what kind of screwed up logic keeps making me do something that I know is poison.
The question I keep asking myself is why? Why did I let it go this far and what kind of screwed up logic keeps making me do something that I know is poison.
But I decided that I can't leave yet! I have many things I want to repay her for! I almost have a month without drinking; I swore I couldn't get past 14 days and hadn't done so in over four years. I guess others who have succeeded at starting there new life feel: If I could do this you can do this!
I hope you will give a good ol' honest try at starting a new life without the poison.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
