Jsbodhi

I stopped thinking about it and just don't drink, if I think about it I'll freak out.

mns1

I agree with the idea of keeping your focus in the here and now, especially early on.

Don't let the overwhelming thought of, "I can never drink again!" play mind games with you. It will just stress you out, which is not going to help you right now.

I think if you just focus on not drinking today, what happens next will happen just as it should!

Vandermast

Mindfulness

FreeOwl

I think I thought a lot about this in the early days....

The first time I went after sobriety in earnest, it plagued me.

This time around, it would float by in my awareness like a ghost at times.... a little scary.

But now I seldom really think about "NEVER". I just think; "I don't drink". And it's now grown to the point where "I don't drink" actually feels a lot better than the thought of drinking.

Sometimes I have my struggles in certain settings. Sometimes a sort of feeling of loss comes about.... sometimes nostalgia.... but that passes pretty quickly and I focus on how good I feel NOT drinking. Then "I don't drink" comes back to comfort me.

I don't really think about NEVER..... just about NOW.

Dave36

After a while that obsession will die down a little. Someone said something about telling themselves they can drink tomorrow just don't drink today to fool their brain and kill the craving. In the first few weeks I did that hour to hour sometimes. I'd tell myself just wait one hour and if I still need a drink that bad I'll go get one. Them just put it off another hour. Every time you say no it's easier and will eventually become habit. I also tell myself they're not gonna stop making beer anytime soon. It'll always be just a few blocks away. I can get to it anytime I want. I'm just not going to have any today.

Notmyrealname

I try to avoid thinking of never / forever / always. The reason I don't drink today or tomorrow is that when the denial is washed away, it's a bad decision to make. I know where that door leads, and it's not anywhere I want to be.

I'm not forever forsaking an activity I'd rather be partaking in -- who could manage that kind of discipline? Not me, if you give history any credence. No, for me it was a change of perspective, long periods of tentative abstinence, and ultimately (at least thus far) making slow progress on building a life I mostly (sort of, at least?) enjoy that doesn't include guzzling down a thousand cases of beer every year.

Kevin78

Boredom really gets to me too. I'm trying to find ways to keep me occupied. I sit in a taxi all day most days ( when off the drink). I'm not much of a book reader either. Need to fill the gaps with something interesting.

anattaboy

I'm not one who ruminates over drinking. Luckily, most of my exp. was bad and I'm under a year so it's still fresh. I did drink after 8 yrs. once and 4.5 recently and it is precisely THAT forgetfulness that I look for tools for. Romancing is not for me. Thanks for the reminder.

Ultramarathoner

For me, recognizing choice is powerful and important.

I can drink. I choose not to.

My reasons to remain alcohol free outweigh any reasons to drink.

Tang

To me this question is asked for a few reasons. The first is our addictive voice. That part of us that craves the high of alcohol. It doesn't want us giving it up. The second part, for me, is the societal pressure. We see alcohol as intrinsic to being a part of our society or social circles. For some of us we may have both of these at play. Our AV may even make us feel like we are losing a loved one. Many people go through stages of loss over alcohol like they would losing a close loved one. I think part of the reason we need support groups (or sites) is to help fill the void alcohol has left in our lives.

aldo1981

Took me some time to accept it but in time it will become normal not to drink like you said party’s social events trigger the feeling but really theses events would be better sober.

I keep telling myself at least I will remember the events I am going to and be sociable not a pest.

Nonsensical

I stopped framing the issue like a loss. I GAINED a better life. Focusing on the not drinking part is like winning the lottery and focusing on the $1 you lost buying the ticket.

Nofearnobeer

Nonsensical , that is one of the best lines I have heard in a dang long time!

leviathan

yeah, that was a good one!

barefootjunker

Making it a "never drink again" is really making it far too complicated. There is a reason for the "One day at a time" saying, we drunks don't do well if we start thinking in terms of forever.

Simple solution, just don't drink today, tomorrow is just another today not here yet.

SoberLife90

What are you talking about getright? You don't have to go the rest of your life without drinking, you can drink whenever you want! Of course you know where the drinking roads takes us alcoholics...I know the sobriety road is much better!

getright15

All of you have been very helpful!

Fly N Buy

Never will I have to worry about a DUI
Never will I awake to the sickness of body, mind and spirit - who did I text or call
Never will waste thousands of dollars, expose my self and my family to untold liability because I drink
Never will the reflection of my drunk despair be seen in my loved ones eyes

Never will I drink again - poor me - how will I ever deal with this

This is my way, I am certain there are others.........

Jen73

For me, I just keep myself busy for my brain to focus on other things. I go to Meetings , post stuff on here, play games, work, anything besides thinking or wanting alcohol. You just have to make a new route and do that everyday, your brain will learn that is your things to do now.It took me a while to keep directing my brain to learn to do other stuff cause its use to picking up a bottle or doing the same thing every time.
When I felt that I have the urged to drink, I would drink a bottle water, or eat!! It works for me so far!! I stay away from bars or anything that triggers me to drink. I even had to say good by to friends I knew for a long time that I cant participate in your social society anymore. I lost a lot of friends because they couldn't understand or they were just my party friends.

Take one day at a time...

anyways, Good luck whatever you do.

JoeCree

Wow! I've never thought of it like this - but wow you're bang on!!! Incredible the amount of good info you pick up in here from others.

Incidentally, I think the amount of Problem Drinkers/Alcoholics are way more than society-at-large suspects.

This article claims 20% are at risk of "problems" relating to Alcohol. But I believe that there is no such thing as a "problem" but rather you are now addicted. Once you've hit the "addicted" level, there is no going back.

Alcohol-abuse risks need more attention in Canada, U.S. researchers say - Health - CBC News

I'm currently at about ~5 weeks sober right now and have witnessed some out of control drunks at events since. These same individuals don't think they have a problem. Be thankful for to your reasoning to actually be in here talking about it and making a choice for a better life ---- Recognizing you have a problem is the biggest hurdle you will face. Every other hurdle along the way just takes practice. Soon you'll be running the 110M hurdles without tripping at all!