Hi
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Great job on 90 days rockstonic. I'm 29, but in a similar boat to you as a binge drinker that has had false starts due to my brain convincing me i don't have a problem if I can control it for awhile.
I'm also interested to hear how 90 days has been for someone in their 20s. The social scene so much revolves around bars and drinking. Are you going out with friends and just sticking to club soda, finding a new set of friends, staying in?
When I did 30 last summer, I was crazy busy at work and got out of town every weekend. Then during the world cup, I just sorta let myself drink again and think I didn't drink for a week after, but then the flood gates opened.
I'm also interested to hear how 90 days has been for someone in their 20s. The social scene so much revolves around bars and drinking. Are you going out with friends and just sticking to club soda, finding a new set of friends, staying in?
When I did 30 last summer, I was crazy busy at work and got out of town every weekend. Then during the world cup, I just sorta let myself drink again and think I didn't drink for a week after, but then the flood gates opened.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 361
I did go to a bunch of AA meetings in the first few weeks. I think it's good to remain open minded. Drinking wasn't working so I was pretty much open to trying anything else, haha. I picked up a lot of useful information about alcoholism and recovery and it was good to go to meetings in order to be accountable. They aren't my main tool though and I haven't been for awhile. I check in here a lot and I started going to weekly therapy which I think have been the two most significant tools I have. It's really about finding what works for you but drawing on the experience and support of those people who have been here before is super helpful!
In terms of a social life, you have to be really honest with yourself about your limits. I found that my AV was really good at trying to put me in bad situations. I don't go socialize with my friends when the main activity is drinking. So no bars. But I do go out to dinner and to concerts and other things. Active and outdoor activities are always good because they tend to be lighter on the substances. When I am out I just grab a sparkling water and snacks and it's actually less awkward than I thought it would be.
I agree with you on the sporting events. I was at a basketball game a few weeks ago and no one knew about my quitting drinking so they were like "let's get a few six packs for the group." I literally ran out of the room and had to take a few deep breaths. It'll be uncomfortable but you just need to have a plan.
I can't remember who said it here but I've been told time and again that you need to have a plan when you know you're about to face a big temptation. Big things are hard. All my relapses have been holidays: my birthday, thanksgiving. It's hard not to "treat myself" on a special occasion, because that's how I always knew who to celebrate. So for new years I just stayed at home because I knew it would be too tempting if I left the house.
It was depressing at first because taking drinking out leaves a vacuum because drinking is like the main activity. You have to work to find new things to fill that space and that takes some time. Hey, it's been 90 days and I feel like I'm just now getting to the point where I can start filling that vacuum. Be kind to yourself, it's a marathon not a sprint!
In terms of a social life, you have to be really honest with yourself about your limits. I found that my AV was really good at trying to put me in bad situations. I don't go socialize with my friends when the main activity is drinking. So no bars. But I do go out to dinner and to concerts and other things. Active and outdoor activities are always good because they tend to be lighter on the substances. When I am out I just grab a sparkling water and snacks and it's actually less awkward than I thought it would be.
I agree with you on the sporting events. I was at a basketball game a few weeks ago and no one knew about my quitting drinking so they were like "let's get a few six packs for the group." I literally ran out of the room and had to take a few deep breaths. It'll be uncomfortable but you just need to have a plan.
I can't remember who said it here but I've been told time and again that you need to have a plan when you know you're about to face a big temptation. Big things are hard. All my relapses have been holidays: my birthday, thanksgiving. It's hard not to "treat myself" on a special occasion, because that's how I always knew who to celebrate. So for new years I just stayed at home because I knew it would be too tempting if I left the house.
It was depressing at first because taking drinking out leaves a vacuum because drinking is like the main activity. You have to work to find new things to fill that space and that takes some time. Hey, it's been 90 days and I feel like I'm just now getting to the point where I can start filling that vacuum. Be kind to yourself, it's a marathon not a sprint!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,406
Originally Posted by 25andddd 
.
Like I said I am highly functioning. No one knows I am hammered. I won't even remember my evenings a lot of the time. I just wake up and can tell by everyones demeanor whether they were on to me or not. I have it down to a science basically. I drive fine. Although I know it's wrong. I play basketball LOL. I do everything im just drunk. I have gotten very good at being drunk.
Like I said I am highly functioning. No one knows I am hammered. I won't even remember my evenings a lot of the time. I just wake up and can tell by everyones demeanor whether they were on to me or not. I have it down to a science basically. I drive fine. Although I know it's wrong. I play basketball LOL. I do everything im just drunk. I have gotten very good at being drunk.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: nj
Posts: 37
I excercised for three hours straight I sweated alot.
I am so exhausted I don't even want to drink....although in the past I would cram them down anyway...not sure why I guess the withdrawls.
I'm going to have a nice nutritious meal and drinks lots of water tonight.
I almost went to buy a beer I even took out the money for it. But I chugged a 1.5 liter of water and that quenched my thirst instead. Happy over the small victory.
I am so exhausted I don't even want to drink....although in the past I would cram them down anyway...not sure why I guess the withdrawls.
I'm going to have a nice nutritious meal and drinks lots of water tonight.
I almost went to buy a beer I even took out the money for it. But I chugged a 1.5 liter of water and that quenched my thirst instead. Happy over the small victory.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Thanks for the feedback rockstonic. Most of my worst binges have started at celebratory events, so I'm kind of worried about some stuff on my social calendar that are upcoming. Nothing for me until the NCAA Tournament starts, which I'm addicted to. I know I'll enjoy it a lot more if I remember it, so keeping that thought in my head now.
25anddd, seems like a pretty successful night. I think for myself, the small victories are nice too. Tonight was a perfect occasion for me to drink in terms of work schedule today. And other than thinking about that, I was never remotely close to stepping in to a liquor store.
Be well
25anddd, seems like a pretty successful night. I think for myself, the small victories are nice too. Tonight was a perfect occasion for me to drink in terms of work schedule today. And other than thinking about that, I was never remotely close to stepping in to a liquor store.
Be well
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: nj
Posts: 37
Ny mets.
I just watched my beloved nets sober for the first time I can remember. I enjoyed it much more than being drunk.
Idea...maybe watch the game on an eliptical or something so you have an outlet for your nerves.
I just watched my beloved nets sober for the first time I can remember. I enjoyed it much more than being drunk.
Idea...maybe watch the game on an eliptical or something so you have an outlet for your nerves.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Yeah, sporting events on a workout machine are fantastic. The time melts away.
I was in Australia during the NFL playoffs and would work out Monday mornings with the games on, haha, it was great. When the mets start up next month, I'll be at the gym a lot from that 7-10 time frame.
I was in Australia during the NFL playoffs and would work out Monday mornings with the games on, haha, it was great. When the mets start up next month, I'll be at the gym a lot from that 7-10 time frame.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: nj
Posts: 37
Thanks purple.
second day. Pretty nice to just drive somewhere directly and not stop at liquor stores or go a certain way to pass one.
Feeling optomistic.
will get to a meeting this week I think.
I kinda tapered over the last month knowing this was comming. Withdrawls were not fun I had two days that were horrible. Excercise is my motivation and outlet. And my gf. And me!
Sorry if that all sounds lame. Lol
second day. Pretty nice to just drive somewhere directly and not stop at liquor stores or go a certain way to pass one.
Feeling optomistic.
will get to a meeting this week I think.
I kinda tapered over the last month knowing this was comming. Withdrawls were not fun I had two days that were horrible. Excercise is my motivation and outlet. And my gf. And me!
Sorry if that all sounds lame. Lol
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
25, were you able to get some rest? I wasn't a daily drinker so I'm fortunate in that I didn't have to deal with withdrawals, but I've suffered with insomnia since I was a kid. I often used alcohol as a remedy, so I've had some difficult sleeping since getting sober.
It does suck, but being tired the next day is better than a hangover.
Stay strong buddy.
It does suck, but being tired the next day is better than a hangover.
Stay strong buddy.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
quick response - one thing I thought about was the description of getting drunk and tapering the drinking so others would not notice.
It's like a campfire. It starts out slow, then is a big flaming fire. If you only put a small piece of wood on the fire for a few hours later, it is still a fire and people will notice it.
Sorry for what you are experiencing and I hope you can get yourself motivated to get out of your funk. But I can assure you that trying to drink less will not work. I think you are already at the DON'T DRINK AT ALL stage.
It's like a campfire. It starts out slow, then is a big flaming fire. If you only put a small piece of wood on the fire for a few hours later, it is still a fire and people will notice it.
Sorry for what you are experiencing and I hope you can get yourself motivated to get out of your funk. But I can assure you that trying to drink less will not work. I think you are already at the DON'T DRINK AT ALL stage.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
Originally Posted by 25andddd
Insomnia heart pounding and intense anxiety tonight.
I don't hate it but I am looking forward to tomorrow.
I don't hate it but I am looking forward to tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Originally Posted by 25andddd
I got drunk at a st party's day parade. That turned into drinking the next two days.
Cant handle drinking at this point.
Learning and moving on.
Cant handle drinking at this point.
Learning and moving on.
My AV convinced me that I had to drink during the USA/Belgium game last summer. I managed to moderate for that and for the of the summer actually, but then it slowly but surely devolved into the same pattern of drinking at home 2 or 3 nights a week and going out about once a week with friends and getting either very drunk or blackout. If just very drunk, I'd get home and continue drinking until I passed out.
I know for me with that USA/Belgium game, I woke up in the morning knowing I was going to drink. I came to SR. saying I was having an internal battle, but deep down, I knew I was going to drink.
When you drank at the St. Patty's Parade, what mindset did you go in with? I think if it's anything other than being 100% committed to staying sober with a plan on how you will do that, then a screw up is bound to happen.
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