Opiate User
 

Hi! I am 23. I first tried painkillers when I was 18 and only used them occasionally... For the last year and half I have been using much more heavily. Recently, I have been able to take 50mg of hydrocodone throughout the day. This is obviously a lot more compared to when 5mg was enough to make me happy.

I took 10mg today (all I have left) and would like to go ahead and quit while I am somewhat ahead. Fortunately, I am moving to my home state and have no intention of getting any from my long ago connection. However, I am definitely nervous that I will "give in" and contact him.

I constantly think about them and become excited when I know I will be getting some. I'm always bored when I don't have them and become very depressed. I'm happier, nicer, more outgoing, and more positive when I'm high... But I know they will eventually really damage my life.

I just want to be a sober sally so badly, lol. I don't want to drink, smoke weed, smoke cigarettes, or take pills anymore. I really don't want to hurt my family and friends by becoming a full blown addict.

I was hoping that this forum would be a nice place to get support and give support as well...

Thank you for reading! :tyou

welcome :) I definitely find this place to be great support, and i'm sure you will too
we're a similar age too (i'm 24) and i think it's definitely a bit of a challenge to be outgoing and positive while sober, especially when so many our age are using in a casual, more 'normal' way. but one thing that's helping me is to see how 'fake' those feelings are when drunk/high and keeping focussed on how nice it will be to experience these real true happy and contented feelings sober (though i still have a way to go!)
the improvements are gradual but rewarding,
i'm glad you're here!!

Welcome!

Thank you for your reply, immri! How long have you been sober? What was your vice?

Welcome to SR :)

Pretty cat!

44 days today, early days and up and down but the longest i've been sober in many many years and things are improving :)
alcohol was my biggest and longest problem, but I also abused valium and many painkillers regularly and developed a very high tolerance too

good on you for identifying its time to quit! i'm so glad I stopped even with all the ups and downs :)

Thank you, Della! I love my cat. How are you?

Congratulations! That is wonderful! Did you attend any programs, or have you mainly used this site?

thank you :) you'll get there too!
I was on the verge of going to rehab after my last relapse, but I detoxed in hospital for a few days - which was physically necessary for me - and now I go to both AA and NA (which I enjoy! I recommend at least trying and seeing if it's for you if you haven't already) and have a sponsor, as well as using this site regularly. it all helps!

Welcome to the Forum!! :wave: