Someone asked me who I really was
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Someone asked me who I really was
I am 34, I live in the state of Nevada. I am very alcoholic and a gambling addict. I have a wife and a daughter and am diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic, with generalized anxiety disorder.
About a year ago I came here for help. Many offered help, I was very receptive to that help and for the first time felt appreciated and understood. I felt like I belonged, having just a voice on the other end of the line help me feel better about myself. I took advantage of that and I am sorry.
CPS did take my daughter. I did lie, and I have apologized and made no excuses for what I did. If you haven't ever lied as a an addict, I am surprised however I would take you at your word. For those that have supported me thank you, for those that haven't I don't want you to judge me, so I am not going to judge you. I do not, will not, have not, and never will speak ill of anyone on any thread. I am sorry I want to be a part of SR, and with that I have nothing more to offer. However, I've been accused of having the focus placed on me, so with that I will no longer discuss that situation ever!
I am sober today thats what matters. I had a family event and it went over very well. Tomorrow I don't know, I hope to be sober, but we will see this really is one day at a time. Thank you for reading good day.
About a year ago I came here for help. Many offered help, I was very receptive to that help and for the first time felt appreciated and understood. I felt like I belonged, having just a voice on the other end of the line help me feel better about myself. I took advantage of that and I am sorry.
CPS did take my daughter. I did lie, and I have apologized and made no excuses for what I did. If you haven't ever lied as a an addict, I am surprised however I would take you at your word. For those that have supported me thank you, for those that haven't I don't want you to judge me, so I am not going to judge you. I do not, will not, have not, and never will speak ill of anyone on any thread. I am sorry I want to be a part of SR, and with that I have nothing more to offer. However, I've been accused of having the focus placed on me, so with that I will no longer discuss that situation ever!
I am sober today thats what matters. I had a family event and it went over very well. Tomorrow I don't know, I hope to be sober, but we will see this really is one day at a time. Thank you for reading good day.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,869
You have a lot of support here, Jeremy. What's past is past and it needs to stay in the past. Start fresh and just be honest. We are here for you. I think you really know that. (((HUGS)))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,857
You are one of us, TDG, and we are happy that you are here.
We want to support you in your quest for sobriety so I hope you share of yourself, of your needs and of your experiences as you see fit.
We want to support you in your quest for sobriety so I hope you share of yourself, of your needs and of your experiences as you see fit.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I don't want to hear anything about whats been before Jeremy.
It's been thrashed out.
Draw a line already.
That's not going to help your recovery.
I want to hear about what you did for your recovery today and what you're going to do tomorrow.
D
It's been thrashed out.
Draw a line already.
That's not going to help your recovery.
I want to hear about what you did for your recovery today and what you're going to do tomorrow.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
I think this is a great way to just get it out there so that you CAN move forward. everyone is able to see the truth now and we can all move past it. no need to keep apologising or justifying or whatever it may be, but this is a great post to lay it out there and now the focus can move off the past and on to how you're coping now and what you're doing for recovery.
I appreciate this and I'm sure a lot of others do, and all I care about now is your future.
I appreciate this and I'm sure a lot of others do, and all I care about now is your future.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
This is all yesterday's news, Jeremy. And to be honest, somewhat narcissistic.
What we want to hear is:
An update on your status re: a long-term, inpatient rehab facility. When can you be admitted?
If your intent was to get the usual 'attaboys,' you've succeeded. But you knew you would. People here, including me, do care about you.
I'm one of those who has been with you from the start. No reading of your postings over many months indicates any discernible growth in resolve on your part to be an active participant in your own sobriety and recovery. Just more posts, more sympathy, more apologies, more attaboys.
You don't need to reintroduce yourself. You need to take action.
What we want to hear is:
An update on your status re: a long-term, inpatient rehab facility. When can you be admitted?
If your intent was to get the usual 'attaboys,' you've succeeded. But you knew you would. People here, including me, do care about you.
I'm one of those who has been with you from the start. No reading of your postings over many months indicates any discernible growth in resolve on your part to be an active participant in your own sobriety and recovery. Just more posts, more sympathy, more apologies, more attaboys.
You don't need to reintroduce yourself. You need to take action.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Sometimes, I think back about all the people that I took advantage of and hurt. It was all about me. I didn't care about the pain I caused them. I can't go back and make things right with all these people and I have to live with that.
You have a chance to open a new chapter and start fresh. I hope you take this opportunity to really let people know what is going on with you so they can support the real you. John
You have a chance to open a new chapter and start fresh. I hope you take this opportunity to really let people know what is going on with you so they can support the real you. John
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Originally Posted by Venecia 
This is all yesterday's news, Jeremy. And to be honest, somewhat narcissistic.
What we want to hear is:
An update on your status re: a long-term, inpatient rehab facility. When can you be admitted?
If your intent was to get the usual 'attaboys,' you've succeeded. But you knew you would. People here, including me, do care about you.
I'm one of those who has been with you from the start. No reading of your postings over many months indicates any discernible growth in resolve on your part to be an active participant in your own sobriety and recovery. Just more posts, more sympathy, more apologies, more attaboys.
You don't need to reintroduce yourself. You need to take action.
What we want to hear is:
An update on your status re: a long-term, inpatient rehab facility. When can you be admitted?
If your intent was to get the usual 'attaboys,' you've succeeded. But you knew you would. People here, including me, do care about you.
I'm one of those who has been with you from the start. No reading of your postings over many months indicates any discernible growth in resolve on your part to be an active participant in your own sobriety and recovery. Just more posts, more sympathy, more apologies, more attaboys.
You don't need to reintroduce yourself. You need to take action.
to be fair, a few people did ask for the truth and for it to all be out in the open so that we could know what was true and therefore be better able to offer specific support. its easier to draw a line under it and move forward when we know what's what.
as long as you keep moving forward from here Jeremy I don't see anything wrong with this post.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Thank you for caring Venecia. "Attaboys", " Yesterdays news" "Narcissism" I am sorry, as I said I am not going back. I don't want "attaboys" or sympathy.
Believe me, if you don't understood. I acknowledged in my above post, "I've been accused of having the focus placed on me, so with that I will no longer discuss that situation ever" is that narcissistic? I suppose so, but what is the converse? What would the alternative be? Not addressing people's concerns. I guess so. I thank you for caring, I understand your hesitation to believe me, and with that being said thank you!
I am working on getting into rehab. Yes that I've said before, but this time its real, believe it or not. At this juncture there is no move I can make without being questioned. So I am not going to focus on that or even address it other than saying its real!
I did wrong, questioning my intent is understandable not looking for much more than to be a part of this community and move forward.
Believe me, if you don't understood. I acknowledged in my above post, "I've been accused of having the focus placed on me, so with that I will no longer discuss that situation ever" is that narcissistic? I suppose so, but what is the converse? What would the alternative be? Not addressing people's concerns. I guess so. I thank you for caring, I understand your hesitation to believe me, and with that being said thank you!
I am working on getting into rehab. Yes that I've said before, but this time its real, believe it or not. At this juncture there is no move I can make without being questioned. So I am not going to focus on that or even address it other than saying its real!
I did wrong, questioning my intent is understandable not looking for much more than to be a part of this community and move forward.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Rehabs a great idea, Jeremy. No need to keep rehashing the stuff from days past, eh? Rehab and sobriety sound like a bright future.
Here's what you have to look forward to in lasting sobriety:
No hangovers
No nausea
No wondering what you said or did the night before
No lies
No additional booze induced anxiety
Life starts to make sense. Just flickers of sense at first, but stick with itand it gets better
You have some painful moments, but they get fewer and farther between
You start to respect yourself
Self respect leads to a desire to do the right thing
Doing the right thing leads to good things happening in your life
Life gets better. It takes work. But it's the best damn thing I ever did.
Here's what you have to look forward to in lasting sobriety:
No hangovers
No nausea
No wondering what you said or did the night before
No lies
No additional booze induced anxiety
Life starts to make sense. Just flickers of sense at first, but stick with itand it gets better
You have some painful moments, but they get fewer and farther between
You start to respect yourself
Self respect leads to a desire to do the right thing
Doing the right thing leads to good things happening in your life
Life gets better. It takes work. But it's the best damn thing I ever did.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy
I did wrong, questioning my intent is understandable not looking for much more than to be a part of this community and move forward.
I'd like to repeat what I wrote in the previous thread. You're at a fork in the road IMO. You can take one direction and seek the help and do the hard work to get better, or you can put-off getting help and working towards sobriety and continue down the drunken, chaotic path that will inevitably lead to self-destruction.
Both roads require a lot of work and involve a lot of emotional pain and turmoil, but if you choose the road of recovery, you will be rewarded with a decent, sober life in exchange for all your work and effort.
I think taking the road to recovery is the better option. I hope you do too. Sincerely, I wish you the best; this is something you can do.
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