First Post and Introduction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 3
First Post and Introduction
Hello SR community, my name is Jon, and I am most definitely an alcoholic. I am 43 and started drinking as early as age 12, when wine was routinely served at the dinner table in my family. In my late teens it escalated and became daily as I entered college. When I turned 21, I was at the college bars every night. I managed to get a bachelor’s degree (in six years), but it was pretty much worthless, as I don’t remember a thing that I learned and just got through it to appease my parents.
Fast forward 20 years, and I have pretty much drank half a bottle of rum or more every night, except for a year off in the late 1990s when I became engaged to my wife (still married), and 90 days in 2013. I have always had anxiety and would drink to relieve that. I only drink alone at home, so at least I haven’t put other people at risk with drinking and driving, and I have had no DUIs or any other encounters with law enforcement. I am pretty much as anti-social as they come.
It has taken me many years to finally admit I am an alcoholic and not just that I “drink a little too much.” The light bulb came on when drinking was no longer any fun at all, but something I just do every night to feel a little “normal” for a couple hours. Those hours from 7 to 10 are the only time during my day where I feel normal, and that the world can’t get to me. But it has cost me so much.
The last time I had any real sober time on the calendar was exactly 90 days in 2013. After the 90 days, you guessed it, my AV convinced me that I didn’t really have a problem, and could “reward” myself with a drink. Well, you can probably guess where that led to.
I am also very overweight, at 380 pounds. I went from 480 to my current weight during that 90 days in 2013 when I also adopted a vegan diet with lots of vegetable juice. I am an “all or nothing” kind of guy, and I find that completely changing my diet at the same time helps me with the recovery and detox process.
So my plan is to go back to what worked, but with the knowledge that this is not just some 90 day experiment, but a lifelong commitment to sobriety. Losing another 100 pounds or more would also be a great bonus, but the main goal is to quit drinking for good. I have been lurking on SR for a month and have read some very inspiring posts, and I can see that this group is full of very intelligent, wise, and caring people. So I plan on taking advantage of that and using it for all that its worth.
Thank you for reading,
Jon
Fast forward 20 years, and I have pretty much drank half a bottle of rum or more every night, except for a year off in the late 1990s when I became engaged to my wife (still married), and 90 days in 2013. I have always had anxiety and would drink to relieve that. I only drink alone at home, so at least I haven’t put other people at risk with drinking and driving, and I have had no DUIs or any other encounters with law enforcement. I am pretty much as anti-social as they come.
It has taken me many years to finally admit I am an alcoholic and not just that I “drink a little too much.” The light bulb came on when drinking was no longer any fun at all, but something I just do every night to feel a little “normal” for a couple hours. Those hours from 7 to 10 are the only time during my day where I feel normal, and that the world can’t get to me. But it has cost me so much.
The last time I had any real sober time on the calendar was exactly 90 days in 2013. After the 90 days, you guessed it, my AV convinced me that I didn’t really have a problem, and could “reward” myself with a drink. Well, you can probably guess where that led to.
I am also very overweight, at 380 pounds. I went from 480 to my current weight during that 90 days in 2013 when I also adopted a vegan diet with lots of vegetable juice. I am an “all or nothing” kind of guy, and I find that completely changing my diet at the same time helps me with the recovery and detox process.
So my plan is to go back to what worked, but with the knowledge that this is not just some 90 day experiment, but a lifelong commitment to sobriety. Losing another 100 pounds or more would also be a great bonus, but the main goal is to quit drinking for good. I have been lurking on SR for a month and have read some very inspiring posts, and I can see that this group is full of very intelligent, wise, and caring people. So I plan on taking advantage of that and using it for all that its worth.
Thank you for reading,
Jon
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 121
Hey John loved reading your post as something you said completley sums me up
QUOTE:I am an “all or nothing” kind of guy
I am the exact same last year I decided to do 31 days of no drinking,eating healthy and exercise. I did it the second I completed it I was boozing my brains out and sniffing coke and thought oh well might as well start drinking/sniffing now I have done it already the 31 days sober is wrecked. I need to change my attitude this time.
Thanks for the post and good luck.
QUOTE:I am an “all or nothing” kind of guy
I am the exact same last year I decided to do 31 days of no drinking,eating healthy and exercise. I did it the second I completed it I was boozing my brains out and sniffing coke and thought oh well might as well start drinking/sniffing now I have done it already the 31 days sober is wrecked. I need to change my attitude this time.
Thanks for the post and good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 3
Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. Day 1 and so far so good. I just had a quart of carrot/beet/cucumber juice to begin the liver healing. Daylight hours are always very easy for me not to drink. But come 7:00 p.m., it feels like a light switch suddenly turns on and I immediately want a drink, and usually drink until I pass out at 10:00. I have no alcohol in the house and the liquor store here closes at 7 on Sundays, so my plan is to stay close to SR and read posts and have a healthy dinner. I'm looking forward to saying "Day 2" tomorrow.
Jon
Jon
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