Crasfd

I know admitting you are an alcoholic is the first step. I admitted this to myself years ago.
I'm 5 days dry now and feel amazing. My wife is very pleased that I've cut out alcohol, and everything is good.
I consider my alcoholism as a sign of weakness and would rather keep it to myself and deal with it my own way. My wife and family were extremely concerned about my drinking but I fobbed them off saying I was fine and just liked drinking heavily.
My question is, as part of admitting my problem, do I need to tell everybody my problem? Will it work if I don't tell anybody?

Thanks

countrygirl2014

I have been selective in who I tell. I figure at a year I'll come out of the closet. That's just me. I found it embarrassing. People know I quit drinking. They can figure it out in their own.

Jennifer

Dee74

Some people tell everyone, others don't.

I did - at the time, I felt I needed to make it public to make it harder for me to slip back.

These days I think there's a lot to be said being cautious about who you tell.

The main requirement of recovery is not drinking. We can manage that whether we tell everyone or not

I do think significant others need to know (if they don't already) outside of that it's your personal preference I think

D

IOAA2

Hi.

I chose not to say anything for several months because I “stopped” so many times and wanted to make sure drinking was in my past.

Admitting is very important along with acceptance. That’s tough for a lot of us but is necessary and sort of a motivator to continue to do something about it if we are also honest about our own drinking.

BE WELL

Soberwolf

I told only the people that needed to know & now i only speak about alcoholism to other alcoholics nobody else truly understands it not even my current gp (she was like so are you.... are you still do you still i said Alcoholic ? still in recovery ? i said yes)

Not many outside alcoholism circles understand or are aware

It hasnt harmed my sobriety by only telling those close to me & involved in my recovery

Zebra1275

It's my business and I don't tell people.

I do admit I'm an alcoholic every time I go to an AA meeting, and my wife and close family know.

totfit

I don't see a reason personally to tell anyone until a situation arises where I may need to. Today, if the topic comes up, I am just pretty frank and say that I always reacted bad to alcohol and just better of without. I really don't care for the term "alcoholic" that much. It conjures up a certain view which does not cover everyone and on the other side it tries to cover everyone when each person is unique. I think "always react badly" is clear enough. Frankly, I think we all suffer from the "human condition". We can take that and learn to go to the extreme of joy or pit of hell and fully believe we have the most influence on which direction we take.

airwick

I pick who I want to tell. My decision

GTTC

Just like you I have not really told anyone. I think people will figure it out through my actions and how much better I look. I participate in this community to help keep me going and help others along the way. It is no ones business but my own.

I also like you looked at it as a weakness and it took me a long time to take the initial step. I still have not had the conversation with my wife because I feel she will look down on me in some way. Which is stupid because I know she will be 100% supportive and excited that I made the decision!

biminiblue

I don't talk about it outside recovery circles. "Alcoholic" is a term we give to ourselves, and no one else can really label us as such unless we tell them to do so.

Fly N Buy

Glad you're here, Welcome

Admission to yourself is great - it's what we do that admission that's important. I had admitted this for a long period but simply resolved myself to the fact - nothing more and nothing changed.

Then I accepted the fact I could not drink - any, ever. That was the turning point.
Telling people really is a personal choice. It's truly your actions that matter regardless - the question is we admitted we had a problem, we accepted we cannot drink like normal people - now, can we accept the solution?

Thanks for the post!

Thepatman

I personally have no issue with people knowing. Even at work, they know I can't drink and have no off switch. If they judge me, fine, it's their shortcoming not mine.

I don't scream it from my roof top, but feel proud so have no issue with people noticing I look better, happier, etc

MIRecovery

Admitting we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable at least from an AA perspective is a much bigger deal than who you do or don't tell.

The first step is an honest assessment of how alcohol controlled our lives. How it damaged us and the people around us.

I had to get a sponsor, work the steps, and go to a lot of meetings to understand what the first step is all about. The first step is the only step we have to work perfectly

Mountainmanbob

In early sobriety mistakes may easily be made.
Best for now to only tell one's who truly need to know.
MM

Thanos

For me, having a couple of people who know the extent of my problem has helped keep me accountable. But they are people I really really trust. I wouldn't share it casually, as its life or death for me and I don't want anyone minimizing it or judging it without my own best interests at heart.

Stoogy

I personally did not and do not plan to tell anyone, I'm not ashamed at all I just see it as a personal issue and it is only a problem if I'm not dealing with it.

anattaboy

My doctor knows. Other than that, not drinking is recovered. As for social situations? "No thank you, I don't drink" and if it's someone I've drank with in the past I add "anymore". The drama is part of the drinking (past). I quit that also.

3wolves

Only my husband, boss, and those I can trust to support me know. My boss is one too, sober 7 years so she is great with the physical and emotional rollover coaster.

deadlydame

Good Morning Crasfd, based on my personal experience (very bad experience), I decided to select to whom I will tell about my addiction. Also, I used not to tell because I was ashamed but with the work that I have been doing, I accept more and more the idea that I am an addict and if I prefer not to tell someone is simply because I don't feel they are deserving of knowing

Lance40

You don't need to tell anybody; it's more about self honesty. One of the risks I see with keeping it private is that it limits accountability and gives you an easier out if you decide to change your mind. After a couple of days, weeks or months the AV voice can pop up with a sneaky and convincing way of telling you that you really don't have a serious problem or that you're better now and can drink again in moderation. In any case I think it's wise to use discretion in who you tell. I've made at least one mistake in sharing when I wish I hadn't.