chiquen81

Was it hard for you to be around people who lounged and drank for a few hours at dinner and laughed? I can't even picture myself in that type of situation. I mean that's how I used to live my Friday and Saturday nights. (and here and there, during the week on a random night as well) Drinking made anything fun. Roaming about town, hopping to different lounges, meeting other young professionals etc.

As with the dating thing, I know I am not supposed to date but again, I am on the site and I got a few responses saying "if you don't go out on weekends, then what DO you do?".... It almost feels like these people think I'm some sort of social weirdo...

*Confused and scatter-brained at Day 29*

Nonsensical

Yes (but only when I have to). Yes.

JT0626

Yes, my husband....so everyday. Everyday my husband drinks himself into a stupor. Sometimes he makes it to bed, most of the time he just passes out on the couch. I feel lonely since I can't have a good conversation with him. Just last night I had to redirect him to the bathroom, he was about to pee on the water cooler thinking it was a urinal. WTF?!?! So, yeah, I get bored and am utterly unimpressed with drunk a$$ people.

least

No, I don't hang out with drinkers. They aren't doing anything that interests me.

chiquen81

The reason why I feel it would be boring is because here you are with other humans who have ingested a substance that puts them on another plane of reality. Isn't it weird how our society every weekend just numbs themselves out of reality? Maybe I am thinking too deeply about things, but that to me is a bit bothersome.

For instance, I have a few friends from India and they've made comments about how this society is strange in that they drink with celebrations and in India it's just not as common to use alcohol.

A friend of mine said (in his heavy accent of course, which i love):

-You drink when you have a birthday!
-You drink when you have Christmas!
-You drink when you have a baby!
-When do you not drink?

(Not referring to me, but referring to society in America in general, where there is always alcohol served at functions)

chiquen81

Do you think he is trying to numb some pain or some sort of stress? That must be hard to be in a relationship with him...

Esspee

Ironic, bearing in mind I'm only on day 26 of my recovery, but I will spend tonight walking round the town centre with others helping sober up people who are so drunk taxi drivers won't take them home, patching up people who have hurt themselves while too drunk to walk straight, trying to keep people calm so fights don't start, sit on steps in the freezing cold talking to people who are in the depths of despair because of drink.

That is one end of the spectrum. The other end are those that have been in the same bars but haven't drunk, have had a laugh and are going to get themselves home safely (though most will stop for a chat and a laugh with us).

In the middle are the groups which have a mixture from both the above groups. With drunks who are incapable and sober friends struggling to cope with them.

It is still possible to have a good evening - depending on your companions of choice!

jryan19982

Early on i wouldn't hang out with drinkers at least not at a bar where thr whole reason you are there is to drink. But even hanging out with drinkers at dinner or at a sporting event or while bowling is hard bc they will be drinking. Will they drink a lot? Some no and some he. Some dont have a problem with kust one or two while others do but just haven't admitted they have a problem. Society tells us to drink when we are happy upset mad sad excites bored...

Do i get bored? If everyone is plastered yes but if most people aren't drunk and just had a few its easier.

I find that a decent amount of my friends dont drink as much as i did or as much as i thoight they did. Im gal im not a drunk person anymore.

JT0626

He has been an alcoholic for many years, since his teens he has had an alcohol problem. I do believe that he is numbing some personal pain but he lacks the emotional intelligence to recognize that. He believes that his alcohol problem is not that serious, & his idea of moderation is binge drinking on the weekends. WTF

Yeah, it is extremely hard being married to him. I am reconsidering staying married to him, that's how serious it is over here.

PurpleKnight

When I got Sober I realised alcohol is not the centre of the social universe, your India example highlights that perfectly, there are many cultures that are different, and many for religious reasons don't drink at all, so what do they do? are they miserable?

The key for me was to figure out what to do with my time, I had to rebuild a social life, new hobbies/interests, new activities, new projects, and through those I started to meet new people.

Last Weekend as always I got up on my Saturday morning, headed out to my local coffee shop, had a read of a newspaper, had some great conversations with the regulars (I never knew coffee shops had regulars), one guy fancied a game of chess so we played for a few hours. In the evening I attended an ice hockey game with a group of other fans, I drove to the game, we had a great time, had some soda and drove home, then woke up hangover free on Sunday.

None of that required alcohol, but I met people, had loads of fun and that was only Saturday, by Monday I had an action packed weekend to talk about at work.

MelindaFlowers

Yes, but I've found that long, drawn-out stories are so boring now.

I'm happy to be sober but I have to say my "LOL, screaming-laughing" button is broken and I don't think it's every coming back.

I used to be able to sit and talk and laugh for hours while I was drinking. I can't seem to do this sober.

I can still talk for hours and there might be laughter peppered into the conversation but way different than the cackling storytelling.

No question, I am much happier now. Maybe I just have a much lower tolerance for bulls**t jokes and stories.

Ruby2

I don't hang around drinkers and if I did, it would be hard and it would be boring. I might or might not be tempted. But the one thing I've noticed hanging around drinkers when I've been sober? They repeat themselves. Over and over. And get louder and louder. And meaner. I used to be like that.

We are conditioned that we have to drink. To celebrate a victory. To mourn a loss. Birthdays, holidays, camping trips, vacations, etc. etc. Not every society does that. At work today we were talking about the long weekend we have, what people were going to do. I heard "go home and drink a bottle of wine". I heard "glass of wine and a little weed." I didn't hear anyone say anything that interesting to me.

It may take some digging but you will meet people who don't care whether you drink or not drink.