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Problems dealing with daughters School

Old 02-27-2015, 10:51 AM
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Problems dealing with daughters School

I need some answers to cope with this problem.

My daughter had her I-pad restricted so its really hard to do some of her school work assignments cause she doesn't have the tools to use them. Reason why she was restricted cause she download a app on there that the school didn't like, I guess....

On her personal time she uses her phone and goes on her social network sites to post stuff. I don't think that's a harm, that she does that.

Well back in December 2014, she been using Mary J for some time, and one of her friends now ex friend told on her at school, that's how CPS came in our life the 2nd time around. My daughter takes drug tests to see if she is using. They all been good results.

The principle called my husband the other day to let us know that she doesn't like some things on her twitter account and that is why she isn't going to undue the privileges for her to use her i-pad.

The thing is she has learned and she wont use that app on her I-pad, but these things she put on her twitter is just words and it isn't harming anything. She just speaking things out. also its on her time and using her cell phone.

I think the principle has personal engender out for her and my opinions about this what she does on her personal time shouldn't be any concerns for the school

She has good grades, she does her homework, Who cares what she does on her personal time, if its a quote she put on there or she wanted to complain about how our power went out twice this week.

Quotes you put on things is just something you like but it doesn't necessarily going to act on it.

Anyways, I just need some help to understand and what I need to do.

Thanks, just venting
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Old 02-27-2015, 11:09 AM
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Well, I don't know what the offending posts were, but I would guess that the school has rules set by the administration regarding use of the school's property (their iPad.)

Anything written on a social network is subject to prosecution and can adversely affect your daughter's reputation and safety. Maybe you need to talk with her about being very cautious what she puts in writing, whether it's on twitter, facebook, email, imgur, tumblr, pictures posted, or anywhere else on the internet, and even hand-written notes. Once it's out, it can't be taken back.

As far as marijuana - it is illegal in most states, and definitely illegal for minors...I think you have bigger fish to fry than whether or not she can use a state-owned iPad.

There are rules and consequences for breaking those rules in society. I hope she doesn't get into any trouble that will follow her throughout her life.
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Old 02-27-2015, 11:15 AM
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I can understand if she was using the I-pad and doing this, but she is using her IPhone, which we pay for and its on her personal time. She doesn't use her I-phone in school cause she knows the consequences.

I know my husband is going to call someone else that is above her to get this straightened. I am not really sure if that's the best thing to do

But it just boggles me that nothing is private anymore not even when you do it on your own time.
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Old 02-27-2015, 11:28 AM
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I understood that she was using her personal phone on her personal time, but there are still consequences for things written on the internet.

The school is using its discretion. It's like taking away the keys when someone is drinking. They can't get in trouble if they don't have the tool. The school would be legally responsible if she used her iPad irresponsibly. They are trying to teach her the consequences of poor choices on the internet. It's a valuable lesson.
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Old 02-27-2015, 11:32 AM
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Jen,

I would suggest reading the school rule book from cover to cover. Many schools now have rules about what you post on social media due to cyber bullying. It doesn't matter if it is posted using your own phone, you can be held accountable if it is content deemed inappropriate by the school. My sister had a similar issue with my 13 year old niece. My 13 year old niece (along with some other school friends) were on kik using foul language. A parent brought in screenshots & everyone involved got suspended - it didn't matter that this occurred outside of school grounds or hours.

The least of your worries is the locked iPad. Since it is owned by the state the school can decide how they want to regulate it. So they are within their right to do that. When your daughter downloaded an unauthorized app, she brought the negative attention to herself.
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Old 02-27-2015, 01:36 PM
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having CPS come into your life once is no laughing matter. twice is a BIG deal. it would make good common sense to follow ALL the rules, stay off the radar and not do things that get the principal involved. that's just asking for trouble. rules are rules - the school could as easily take the iPad AWAY versus restrict it. if the school fails to see adherence to the rules, there could be additional harsher consequences.
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Old 02-27-2015, 02:02 PM
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When you send stuff onto the internet for anyone to read, it isn't a private matter anymore. You take your chances on who sees what. Just like this post here.

Schools are getting extremely serious about what students (and faculty) are posting online and on their own time. There is an enormous bullying problem associated with social media. In my own experience, I've seen giant school brawls happening on school grounds because someone said something about someone else on facebook and dragged a bunch of other people into the argument. Maybe what your daughter is posting is harmless but maybe it's not. A few years ago a co-worker was fired because over a weekend, she posted "I'll kill you B*&tch" to another co-worker, who was her friend, as a joke. Someone saw it and reported her at work. Bottom line, she was fired for it on the spot.

As an extreme example, the stabbing case in Wisconsin, where the two 12 year old girls almost killed a classmate, started as a way to "please" a character who existed only on the internet.

Read the student manual to find out what the rules and expectations are in your school district. If they aren't clear, talk to the principal.

As for the MJ. It's still illegal in most states and it's certainly not legal in any state for minors to smoke it.
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Old 02-27-2015, 02:03 PM
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I have expressed to my kids that the age of the electronic footprint is much different than what we grew up with. Employers, police, governmental officials all search social media for different reasons.

At the least she should restrict her twitter account so no one can read it except for those that she allows to follow her.

Bimini is correct, however. As society deals with integration of social media in controlled (school, work place etc) environments there are rules and norms to be followed. Good lesson to learn young, lord knows I did not
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Old 02-27-2015, 02:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Jen73 View Post
But it just boggles me that nothing is private anymore not even when you do it on your own time.
Anything written on the internet with your name behind it ( via twitter, facebook, instagram, etc. ) is 100% public. And you can be held accountable for it.

A lot of bad stuff happens on social media nowadays too, especially with kids. The school district arrested a student here just yesterday for posting a hoax on his facebook page that put the school on lockdown. Not saying that your daughter is doing those kinds of things, but it's a pretty serious subject.
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Old 02-27-2015, 02:15 PM
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Thanks guys!!

They never have a book for raising a child, ha!! I just feel I missed a lot when I did drink, and I was lacking on dealing with my teenager either her actions or someone who was revoking things. I just need to control what I can do on my side and educate my daughter to do things that isn't going to hurt in the long terms.

I just wish we would been notice with all this problem in advance then them taking control of the situation. Its my job to make daughter understand what could happen or maybe they could have sat down and talk to her how this works then keeping her out of the loop.

If I was a principle, I would have talk to her first explain and then take her I-pad away. If they want to teach her something, they need to tell why they did it.
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Old 02-27-2015, 03:07 PM
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Jen.

I wish kids came with instruction manuals too! It's crazy how we came up in an era where social media didn't exist & now it is rampant.

I just wish we would been notice with all this problem in advance then them taking control of the situation. Its my job to make daughter understand what could happen or maybe they could have sat down and talk to her how this works then keeping her out of the loop.
If I am not mistaken, I think schools with those iPad programs spell out the rules to the kids before they hand them out. I think this might be a good lesson to your daughter that if something is loaned to you, it doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want with it. It's just like with work computers, one should know better than to install or download any software that your job hasn't provided. You are still making your daughter out to be the victim & she technically wasn't. It sounds like her school has a no tolerance policy & they are sticking to it.

I still think you should read the school handbook & the rules they have in place with the iPads. So you can familiarize yourself with the rules & go over them with your daughter.
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Old 02-27-2015, 03:51 PM
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I'm going to suggest one more thing. That you call the principal back and let her know that you want to be sure you understand the policy, and that you also want to see what your daughter posted and to understand what was wrong with it. You can do this in a friendly, non-confrontational way, and say that you would like to be able to help her avoid problems in the future, but that you are having trouble understanding the policy and the violation. If you approach it as an issue you are also concerned about, and as a parent who wants her child to obey the rules, they should be happy to oblige. Kids have to learn that they have to comply even with rules that are "dumb" and "make no sense." Anyone who has ever tried to file a tax return knows that adults have to comply with dumb, senseless rules all the time.
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Old 02-27-2015, 04:43 PM
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Her Ipad can have parent controls introduced to it to stop certain websites being accessed, worth checking out the school policy and add all those websites not allowed to a blocked list, that way there can be no shades of grey, your daughter cannot access anything outside of the rulebook.

Then if she does want to access other websites, she can have full access to the internet on her phone, to be used in her personal time!!

That way forward would probably create peace of mind all around!!
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Old 02-27-2015, 05:18 PM
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It sounds like this is a good opportunity for you to learn about the school's policies and for you and your daughter to learn about the consequences of words written on the internet.
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