carebearlost

Hi Everyone,

I first posted here about a year ago when I somehow managed to quit for about a month. I don't drink to get drunk, I just drink to feel normal. Unfortunately, that means drinking all day long. If I don't have some alcohol in my system I get severe anxiety and a nervous knot in my stomach.

I hate drinking so much and really want to stop. I don't eat right because the only time I am relaxed enough to eat is when I have had enough to drink. I now really need to stop for my health, have been diagnosed with high blood pressure and pre-diabetes.

I am so scared to try though. I have medication from the doctor yet I am still so scared of having a seizure or stroke. I drink about 20 ounces of bourbon a day. In patient detox is not an option for me. I have such severe anxiety I cannot even drive far enough (45 minutes) to go to closest AA meeting. I am afraid of getting addicted to the meds the dr has prescribed. I cant take the blood pressure meds or diabetes meds because of my drinking.

I am just a mess right now and could really use a friend or two. No one in my life has any sort of addiction and would not understand. I have three kids I need to be here for. I am literally crying right now, just feel so lost and alone.

Beth

Coldfusion

Hi Beth!

Well, I certainly can relate to your situation. And my best advice is for you to remember that much of what you are feeling is the direct result of alcohol withdrawal, and things will improve with time.

Keep reading and posting!

Calicofish

Hi Beth:

I can totally relate. I found that the more alcohol I drank the worse my panic/anxiety would be the following day. It's a vicious cycle.

Is your doctor aware of the amount of alcohol you consume? Maybe s/he can prescribe something for you anxiety to get you over the hump. I would imagine that would be less harmful on your body than alcohol, especially considering your high blood pressure.

I just a wee anxiety issue a few minutes ago. My left arm started to tingle and the back of my left shoulder and in my mind I'm thinking...oh no...is this a heart attack? No - I'd just been hanging some curtain rods and trying to put a screw into some very hard wood. I had to remind myself what I was just doing. It's weird the way our minds work - we seem to be hyper aware of every little tingle and bump in our bodies.

Try doing some exercise or a puzzle - something to take your mind off yourself. I find that helps me.

Hugs,
Calicofish

Dee74

welcome back carebear

Change starts with stopping drinking

The meds your Dr provided are very likely to be short term, but if you're worried or concerned it's a good idea to see you Dr and voice your concerns about becoming addicted to them?

why not check out our Class of February support thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

and our 24 hours recovery connections thread - it a great way to commit to being sober each day

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-42-a.html

D

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Beth!!

hayley86

Welcome back, Beth. We understand. You'll find lots of support and encouragment here. You can do it!

JustinHolt

Dont worry about getting addicted to the meds. Its unlikely and even if you do its a much much easier problem to address than giving up alcohol. I did the pills (librium) and it really helped take the edge off the first week. They simulate being drunk so your brain doesnt go into panic mode and start withdrawal. After a week or two on the pills you stop taking them and the overall craving you have at that point is much less than you would have had in the first three days without them. Best thing to do is to take the pills - honest. Also the pills reduce over the course. Day 1 you might take 6, day 2 you have 5 etc. or whatever the reducing dose program is for you. Bottom line is that it gives you a soft landing and leaves you with less anxiety at the end of the course. While you are taking the pills attend meetings. I know you cant get there easily but if you contact your nearest group by email or telephone someone will come and give you a lift there and back - I guarantee it.

sleepie

Hi carebearlost. I think you should do what your doctor says. The meds will help, and I am sure they will help you with any questions. Maybe take a few days off at first so you can just chill out, sober up and take the meds and some nutritious meals.

VikingGF

Some of those fears are your addiction hearing the end coming. You can do this! Listen to your doc, take the meds and get through it. It's much better on the other side!

Welcome back.

MelindaFlowers

I stopped drinking without medical help. I would describe my withdrawals as medium. Very heavy, daily drinker too. Just about the same amount as you but only from 5 pm to midnight or pass out, whichever came first. No DT's but very strong feelings of "unease" and insomnia, elevated blood pressure (but it was high everyday when I was drinking anyways), anxiety.

Looking back I would have welcomed medical help so I wouldn't feel so crazy and crappy.

I drank because of anxiety and depression and I had anxiety and depression because I drank.

It's a vicious cycle but alcohol is never the solution for anything.

I'm not a believer that we have to get addicted to small amounts of medication we are prescribed by a doctor. They know what they are doing. I was prescribed painkillers after some major dental work, took them for three days (I think there were six) and went on with life. Haven't given pain meds any more thought than that carrot I ate last summer. Alcohol is my problem, not pain meds. How can you get hooked after three days worth anyways?

We spent so long failing at self-diagnosing and failing at self-medicating. Why not just let the medical professionals decide what is best for you at this moment?

Alynn

Welcome back! It is certainly a viscous cycle! Anxiety and depression is amplified with alcohol. It numbs it for a minute until it doesn't anymore. Give sobriety a chance! So much better on the other side. There is some nice breathing techniques, yoga, prayer and meditation are better ways to deal with anxiety then drinking. I also have learned this the hard way. Were all in the same boat here and we are here for you! If you listen to podcast, there is one called anxiety slayer that is helpful. Listen to your Dr

Ruby2

Welcome back. What you are describing sounds like me. Horrible anxiety and not being able to eat unless I'd had a few drinks. It most likely is almost entirely related to the drinking and withdrawal cycle. Mine stopped and I've been able to eat normally since quitting the drinking. I also had horrific anxiety about driving any distance. That has passed as well.

If your doctor is unaware of how much and how often you are drinking, now is the time to bite the bullet and be completely and totally honest. Your doctor can most likely prescribe something to help you through the beginning and to supervise any withdrawal. I highly urge you to talk to your doctor.

Keep coming back. We're here.

itstheone

Dead on. Stop drinking and ride out the emotions for a couple months and you will find it soooo much easier to "deal" with normal emotions..you WILL smile again. Give it a try Beth? Be determined.

Treerat66

Hi Beth, welcome back.

mns1

You are not alone Beth.

Many of us know that feeling of being scared and alone. I know I've been there. But you have to stay focused and determined. You must believe that things can get better. That for me has been the key to overcoming every obstacle I have been faced with in life.

Envision the result that you want and pursue it with unrelenting desire. If you come up short, you keep trying. And don't be afraid to let others in to help you out here and there.

Hang in there!

HopingForZen

Anxiety, I can relate to that, certainly. Very vicious cycle - I believe anxiety worsened my drinking and drinking worsened my anxiety. I'm too new to recovery to give advice on it, except to say I'm riding the emotional wave and hoping that with sobriety and time and yes maybe even the help of professionals I can figure things out. So, let's hang in there together.