How to use support? Weekender thread! Feb 27- March 1
How to use support? Weekender thread! Feb 27- March 1
Support? What is that?
Growing up, my young adulthood, my middle age... Like many, I had little or no support through many times of my life... OR... Maybe I really did have support and I just simply didn't know what to do with it or how to "use" it. I was like ... Wait? What? How? Why?
The reason I am mentioning the topic is because last weekend I refused to use the support I had right here on the weekender. I was really really low.... Depressed as they say. So low I could hardly move physically from my chair. Posting was tough. I just could not reach out past my computer screen. I said nothing to you about the real way I felt.
That's why I also think AA is tough for some. It's the putting yourself in some sort of needing... Saying by my very presence I need help. I need support. And then not really knowing what to do next.
Well.... I need support. This Weasel cannot do it all alone. I am feeling 1000 times better this weekend as "it" has passed but I learned that I don't want to do that again.
If you need support and just don't know how to accept it or what to do with it, please speak up and ask questions. If you have a story about how you learned to finally say "help" then share.
Sorry for the tangent this weekend!!! Are you ready? Can you hear it? The buses .... Wait! Where are the buses? Sled dogs?!? .... Don't worry they are still magical... Room for everyone! And there are still comfy quiet spots for those that want them!
Sorry Soberwolf... No roof!
Growing up, my young adulthood, my middle age... Like many, I had little or no support through many times of my life... OR... Maybe I really did have support and I just simply didn't know what to do with it or how to "use" it. I was like ... Wait? What? How? Why?
The reason I am mentioning the topic is because last weekend I refused to use the support I had right here on the weekender. I was really really low.... Depressed as they say. So low I could hardly move physically from my chair. Posting was tough. I just could not reach out past my computer screen. I said nothing to you about the real way I felt.
That's why I also think AA is tough for some. It's the putting yourself in some sort of needing... Saying by my very presence I need help. I need support. And then not really knowing what to do next.
Well.... I need support. This Weasel cannot do it all alone. I am feeling 1000 times better this weekend as "it" has passed but I learned that I don't want to do that again.
If you need support and just don't know how to accept it or what to do with it, please speak up and ask questions. If you have a story about how you learned to finally say "help" then share.
Sorry for the tangent this weekend!!! Are you ready? Can you hear it? The buses .... Wait! Where are the buses? Sled dogs?!? .... Don't worry they are still magical... Room for everyone! And there are still comfy quiet spots for those that want them!
Sorry Soberwolf... No roof!
Shotgun.
Wow, two weekends in a row!
We had a snow storm again last night so work was cancelled for me today. My primary job, anyway. Not sure if I will have to work on taxes this afternoon.
Have a great weekend all!
Wow, two weekends in a row!
We had a snow storm again last night so work was cancelled for me today. My primary job, anyway. Not sure if I will have to work on taxes this afternoon.
Have a great weekend all!
Ahhh weasel made me smile to see you were feeling better. Support is often all around us but we choose to not utilize it rather, often float along ion our own. I haven't done a wknder in some time been crazy living life . Shall try and pop in this wknd. Never in my life have I had so much joy and pain at once. I guess they say that's what life is all about.
Ps I'll be sitting in the back of the bus with the trouble makers !!
Ps I'll be sitting in the back of the bus with the trouble makers !!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Weekend #2 for me. Have had a ski trip planned for some time now. Just a day trip to a small mountain near New York City, but very happy I have that lined up as I'll have zero desire to drink Friday evening and then will be good and tired Saturday night. My plan is to do schoolwork on Sunday and maybe watch a movie or two.
I'm feeling very confident about not drinking this weekend, but overall still feeling very anxious/shameful about recent drinking episodes and then just lonely in general. I'm determined to not let those feeling lead me to drink and I'm determined to not let those feeling make me sulk around when in public. Maybe it's a "fake it till you make it mentality," but when I'm feeling like this, I just try to put on a happy face in public and it seems to work quite well in elevating my mood a bit.
Good luck to everyone this weekend!
I'm feeling very confident about not drinking this weekend, but overall still feeling very anxious/shameful about recent drinking episodes and then just lonely in general. I'm determined to not let those feeling lead me to drink and I'm determined to not let those feeling make me sulk around when in public. Maybe it's a "fake it till you make it mentality," but when I'm feeling like this, I just try to put on a happy face in public and it seems to work quite well in elevating my mood a bit.
Good luck to everyone this weekend!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I'm in.
I liked posting on SR because I was totally anonymous; furthermore, I knew the people here would be able to identify with me and understand my plight fully. I knew there would be no judgment or lecturing.
I did get the truth spoken to me, and I did need a bit of friendly correction sometimes; but I was better able to accept it from people here and take it to heart. Those in my social circle either recoiled in shock and revulsion when I shared that I had a drinking problem, or they positioned themselves above me and started reciting platitudes and wagging fingers.
My family was very relieved that I stopped drinking, but in a sense I had dug myself into the "whipping boy" position. In one way they're very supportive, because they're careful to keep alcohol out of my presence; however, they don't have a clue about what I went through fighting for my sobriety and the things I've learned along the way. They don't think my milestones are any big deal because I was supposed to be sober, anyway. Why should anybody congratulate me for doing the least a decent person ought to do?
My faceless friends and comrades here on SR are in many ways more real where it counts than are the others in my sphere. They have actively assisted me in my change and growth over the past couple years, and have always been there for me emotionally when I've been down. As a result, I have become a sober person: no longer a rebellious 50-y-o teenager, but poised, calm, and competent to deal with whatever comes my way.
Without the wonderful support of SR, this wouldn't have been possible--or else it would have taken much, much longer.
I never hesitated to run and share on SR when something bothered me: I looked at it as a safe place, a bastion of reason where I wouldn't be upbraided. I am glad whenever I can bring joy and support to somebody else.
I liked posting on SR because I was totally anonymous; furthermore, I knew the people here would be able to identify with me and understand my plight fully. I knew there would be no judgment or lecturing.
I did get the truth spoken to me, and I did need a bit of friendly correction sometimes; but I was better able to accept it from people here and take it to heart. Those in my social circle either recoiled in shock and revulsion when I shared that I had a drinking problem, or they positioned themselves above me and started reciting platitudes and wagging fingers.
My family was very relieved that I stopped drinking, but in a sense I had dug myself into the "whipping boy" position. In one way they're very supportive, because they're careful to keep alcohol out of my presence; however, they don't have a clue about what I went through fighting for my sobriety and the things I've learned along the way. They don't think my milestones are any big deal because I was supposed to be sober, anyway. Why should anybody congratulate me for doing the least a decent person ought to do?
My faceless friends and comrades here on SR are in many ways more real where it counts than are the others in my sphere. They have actively assisted me in my change and growth over the past couple years, and have always been there for me emotionally when I've been down. As a result, I have become a sober person: no longer a rebellious 50-y-o teenager, but poised, calm, and competent to deal with whatever comes my way.
Without the wonderful support of SR, this wouldn't have been possible--or else it would have taken much, much longer.
I never hesitated to run and share on SR when something bothered me: I looked at it as a safe place, a bastion of reason where I wouldn't be upbraided. I am glad whenever I can bring joy and support to somebody else.
I'm climbing on for a sober weekend. ..I hope the sled has heated seats and lots of blankets. We can keep each other warm with support!
This is it for me....SR is my support. ..and it's strong and effective for me. I have been able to handle whatever has been thrown at me so far. It gives me gratitude and reminds me on a daily basis why I need to abstain from alcohol. I just passed a year and do not take it for granted and won't get complacent.and I am enjoying the benefits on a daily basis.
Whoohooo. ..bring on the weekend! I love sober weekends!
This is it for me....SR is my support. ..and it's strong and effective for me. I have been able to handle whatever has been thrown at me so far. It gives me gratitude and reminds me on a daily basis why I need to abstain from alcohol. I just passed a year and do not take it for granted and won't get complacent.and I am enjoying the benefits on a daily basis.
Whoohooo. ..bring on the weekend! I love sober weekends!
My brain is really foggy this morning. I am having some ongoing dental problems and really cannot think clearly enough to post anything that resembles coherency (is that even a word?)
I love you guys and missed this thread the last couple days. I'll try to actually contribute something later. Dentist this morning. Again. Five times in two weeks. I swear I'm traumatized.
This is my own private Hell.
I love you guys and missed this thread the last couple days. I'll try to actually contribute something later. Dentist this morning. Again. Five times in two weeks. I swear I'm traumatized.
This is my own private Hell.
My brain is really foggy this morning. I am having some ongoing dental problems and really cannot think clearly enough to post anything that resembles coherency (is that even a word?)
I love you guys and missed this thread the last couple days. I'll try to actually contribute something later. Dentist this morning. Again. Five times in two weeks. I swear I'm traumatized.
This is my own private Hell.
I love you guys and missed this thread the last couple days. I'll try to actually contribute something later. Dentist this morning. Again. Five times in two weeks. I swear I'm traumatized.
This is my own private Hell.
Yay! The tax office is also closed today. Pants optional day for Nonsensical!
We got about 5 inches of wet heavy snow. There are many sagging tree limbs out in the yard. Hopefully they bounce back or I will be working that chainsaw all spring. D'Oh!
I use SR as my primary means of support. Family tried, but they don't get it. Lots of suggestions that might have been helpful for someone, but weren't helpful for me. The best support they gave me was to tell me in no uncertain terms to fix it!
I went to AA meetings for a while. Face-to-face support was good. I enjoy the fellowship, but I'm not a 12-step kinda guy, so it had limited benefits for me.
The Weaselman and I PM from time to time. Sometimes just to check in, sometimes to get something off the chest that we don't necessarily want full forum feedback on. I consider him a good friend, although I've never seen his face. Life in the internet age.
I also like to spend time in the Newcomer's forum and relate what worked for me. Every once in a while someone PMs me to let me know that something I posted helped them stay sober. That supports me as well. The SR community probably saved my life, so to find that I can give back to that community is sobering indeed.
We got about 5 inches of wet heavy snow. There are many sagging tree limbs out in the yard. Hopefully they bounce back or I will be working that chainsaw all spring. D'Oh!
I use SR as my primary means of support. Family tried, but they don't get it. Lots of suggestions that might have been helpful for someone, but weren't helpful for me. The best support they gave me was to tell me in no uncertain terms to fix it!
I went to AA meetings for a while. Face-to-face support was good. I enjoy the fellowship, but I'm not a 12-step kinda guy, so it had limited benefits for me.
The Weaselman and I PM from time to time. Sometimes just to check in, sometimes to get something off the chest that we don't necessarily want full forum feedback on. I consider him a good friend, although I've never seen his face. Life in the internet age.
I also like to spend time in the Newcomer's forum and relate what worked for me. Every once in a while someone PMs me to let me know that something I posted helped them stay sober. That supports me as well. The SR community probably saved my life, so to find that I can give back to that community is sobering indeed.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Yay! The tax office is also closed today. Pants optional day for Nonsensical!
catpants.jpg
whip us up a nice tray of BLT's with a little melted swiss will ya? and I'll take a diet orange soda.
catpants.jpg
whip us up a nice tray of BLT's with a little melted swiss will ya? and I'll take a diet orange soda.
I am jumping on the sleds. Mine appears to have full heat to keep me warm.
I had to reach out earlier this week since I was really struggling. Reaching out for support is very hard for me. One of the reasons it is so difficult for me to reach out, is due to ego. I want to feel like I am strong, so to admit weakness is not easy, but it is also necessary for getting help. The other part with reaching out, is there is always the worry that no one cares, and a myriad of negative thoughts that go through my mind. It is a vulnerable position to be in when asking for help. However, with reaching out, I got some very wonderful advice from Weasel, Bim, and several others. Weasel made me feel like I could get through it and Bim gave me some new tools for my sobriety toolbox. Thank you both so much!!
So even though it's scary to reach out for help when you need it, there is always support here and there are lots of people with different insight and experience that can help you on your journey. However, to receive that help, you have to take that first step and say you need help.
I had to reach out earlier this week since I was really struggling. Reaching out for support is very hard for me. One of the reasons it is so difficult for me to reach out, is due to ego. I want to feel like I am strong, so to admit weakness is not easy, but it is also necessary for getting help. The other part with reaching out, is there is always the worry that no one cares, and a myriad of negative thoughts that go through my mind. It is a vulnerable position to be in when asking for help. However, with reaching out, I got some very wonderful advice from Weasel, Bim, and several others. Weasel made me feel like I could get through it and Bim gave me some new tools for my sobriety toolbox. Thank you both so much!!
So even though it's scary to reach out for help when you need it, there is always support here and there are lots of people with different insight and experience that can help you on your journey. However, to receive that help, you have to take that first step and say you need help.
Diet orange soda? Gross!
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