Man on my dating site said he doesn't trust a woman who doesn't drink
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Man on my dating site said he doesn't trust a woman who doesn't drink
He asked me out for drinks (he is 38 years old) and he said "can i take you for a drink or two". I said that I do not drink.
His reply was "wasn't it ernest hemingway who said 'i never trust a man who does not drink' and maybe that applies to women as well".
Then I said "oh I used to be able to drink people under the table, I just am more health conscious now. do you drink a lot?"
He said "depends on how much i'm working. on the weekends i do, i have a HUGE social life."
*rolls eyes*
I have 27 days today and I am starting to become one of those people who looks at people who drink and laugh about it as evil/other alcoholics. But how can you really tell? You can't. He does mention drinking a couple times in his profile and all of his photos are him at bars. When you stopped drinking did you point your finger at other people and say "ALCOHOLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "HE IS ONE!!!" or did you get worried about people who mentioned drinking as weekend activities and become accusatory? I'm wondering if this is normal.
His reply was "wasn't it ernest hemingway who said 'i never trust a man who does not drink' and maybe that applies to women as well".
Then I said "oh I used to be able to drink people under the table, I just am more health conscious now. do you drink a lot?"
He said "depends on how much i'm working. on the weekends i do, i have a HUGE social life."
*rolls eyes*
I have 27 days today and I am starting to become one of those people who looks at people who drink and laugh about it as evil/other alcoholics. But how can you really tell? You can't. He does mention drinking a couple times in his profile and all of his photos are him at bars. When you stopped drinking did you point your finger at other people and say "ALCOHOLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "HE IS ONE!!!" or did you get worried about people who mentioned drinking as weekend activities and become accusatory? I'm wondering if this is normal.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
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Wow. You missed out on a real winner there. Someone who says they have a "HUGE social life" sounds like a titanic douche to me. If you have a good social life you don't have to brag about it to try to make yourself feel important.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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Haha what a douche.
I used to have women say to me "i dont trust a guy with facial hair". Of course now all the hipsters are sporting giant beards and its considered fashionable.
If youre on the dating scene, have you considered just adding to your profile that youre in recovery. The perfect match will find out soon enough so why not say so, to weed out the big drinkers or those with negative judgements?
I used to have women say to me "i dont trust a guy with facial hair". Of course now all the hipsters are sporting giant beards and its considered fashionable.
If youre on the dating scene, have you considered just adding to your profile that youre in recovery. The perfect match will find out soon enough so why not say so, to weed out the big drinkers or those with negative judgements?
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
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I'm wondering about dating sober too, I don't mind a guy who has a couple beers camping or out with the boys, but I will never date a " drinker" or someone in recovery either, I just want normal, one recovering alcoholic is enough haha, but as of right now its not on my agenda
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Originally Posted by chiquen81 
I'm 32 so I can't wait that long. I'm too old.
I spent Most of my 20s and 30s dating a series of very smart, very handsome and very cruel men. I realized I needed to pause for station identification, and figure out why I kept dating the same man (who turned out to be my mother, go figure). Anyway, At 38, I met the love of my life and we married a year later. He is smart, handsome and truly the kindest man on the earth: a gentle giant whom children and animals flock to. And he thinks I hang the moon. Some things are worth waiting for.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
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Ironic that Ernest Hemingway made that quote since he was an alcoholic suicide. Or maybe he just didn't want to deal with anyone who would shine a light on his self-destruction and denial.
Anyways, a lot of red flags here with this guy indicating he is probably a big drinker and d-bag.
Anyways, a lot of red flags here with this guy indicating he is probably a big drinker and d-bag.
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This guy is aggravating me the more I chat to him. I might block him.
Now he saying "if you don't meet for a drink, then what else do you do for a date? Sounds boring." (this man is 38 years old, who talks like that? maybe my man-child radar is going off)
I said "I meet for coffee. Then dinner for a second date". We'll see what he says....
Now he saying "if you don't meet for a drink, then what else do you do for a date? Sounds boring." (this man is 38 years old, who talks like that? maybe my man-child radar is going off)
I said "I meet for coffee. Then dinner for a second date". We'll see what he says....
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
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Originally Posted by chiquen81
This guy is aggravating me the more I chat to him. I might block him.
Now he saying "if you don't meet for a drink, then what else do you do for a date? Sounds boring." (this man is 38 years old, who talks like that? maybe my man-child radar is going off)
I said "I meet for coffee. Then dinner for a second date". We'll see what he says....
Now he saying "if you don't meet for a drink, then what else do you do for a date? Sounds boring." (this man is 38 years old, who talks like that? maybe my man-child radar is going off)
I said "I meet for coffee. Then dinner for a second date". We'll see what he says....
I'd rather live alone in a cardboard box than in a mansion in a miserable relationship!
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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I wouldn't spend any more time chatting to him as he seems so caught up on the drink thing.
I'm a couple if days behind you - day 25 - and every day I'm finding out more stuff about the real me that didn't come out when I was the drinking me.
I'm an avowed singleton - I love living my life for me, my son and our soon to arrive dog and not have to take anyone else into account - but I think I'd struggle to know how to describe my likes and dislikes to others as I'm not sure I know what they are myself!!
I'm a couple if days behind you - day 25 - and every day I'm finding out more stuff about the real me that didn't come out when I was the drinking me.
I'm an avowed singleton - I love living my life for me, my son and our soon to arrive dog and not have to take anyone else into account - but I think I'd struggle to know how to describe my likes and dislikes to others as I'm not sure I know what they are myself!!
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Originally Posted by chiquen81
Ok he just replied. He said to my coffee and dinner comment "yeah, it's just not what I'm used to. i'm looking for friends with benefits actually"
BYE
BYE
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
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He sounds like an idiot regardless of whether you are looking at him drunk or sober. Icky!
Thirty two? You have time. Just not time to waste on this guy. And I'd say that even if you were 22. I had my first kid at forty. As I said, you have time.
Thirty two? You have time. Just not time to waste on this guy. And I'd say that even if you were 22. I had my first kid at forty. As I said, you have time.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by chiquen81
This guy is aggravating me the more I chat to him. I might block him.
Now he saying "if you don't meet for a drink, then what else do you do for a date? Sounds boring." (this man is 38 years old, who talks like that? maybe my man-child radar is going off)
I said "I meet for coffee. Then dinner for a second date". We'll see what he says....
Now he saying "if you don't meet for a drink, then what else do you do for a date? Sounds boring." (this man is 38 years old, who talks like that? maybe my man-child radar is going off)
I said "I meet for coffee. Then dinner for a second date". We'll see what he says....
I think you should just block him and focus on your recovery right now.
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