Really afraid I'm going to drink
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 93
There's also another issue. I was going to start a separate thread for this, but since it overlaps with this one, I thought I'd post it here.
I'm not the only alcoholic in my family. Another member of my family has a drinking problem. This family member DOES have to be present for the trial, as they are testifying.
This family member is aware of the problem, and he has been trying to stop drinking for years. He has gotten really bad lately, and even admits that it's bad. However, he doesn't seem to want to get serious when it comes to DOING anything about it.
I have tried to help, but this is beyond me. I can't even keep myself sober for any length of time, so I'm in no position to help another alcoholic.
I am deeply concerned that he is about to go over the cliff with his drinking. I think this trial may be the thing that finally does it for him; the final straw as it were. I'm terrified if I don't go to the trial to support him that he will drink himself into a really bad situation while he's there. I love him deeply and (as a fellow alcoholic) I feel like it's my duty.
However, I am starting to recognize that this may be a huge lie I am telling myself. I have never been able to help him under NORMAL circumstances; why do I think I will be able to stop him from drinking during extremely stressful circumstances? Especially when I can't even keep myself sober.
I'm scared to just let go and let him make his own decisions/mistake because I fear where it will lead. However, I also don't think I'm in the position to stop him. I don't think anyone is...the most I could do is babysit him if he gets really bad. And I'm not sure that would be helpful to anybody involved.
I have been told that the best thing you can do for an alcoholic "is to get out of the way of his rock bottom."
Any advice greatly appreciated.
I'm not the only alcoholic in my family. Another member of my family has a drinking problem. This family member DOES have to be present for the trial, as they are testifying.
This family member is aware of the problem, and he has been trying to stop drinking for years. He has gotten really bad lately, and even admits that it's bad. However, he doesn't seem to want to get serious when it comes to DOING anything about it.
I have tried to help, but this is beyond me. I can't even keep myself sober for any length of time, so I'm in no position to help another alcoholic.
I am deeply concerned that he is about to go over the cliff with his drinking. I think this trial may be the thing that finally does it for him; the final straw as it were. I'm terrified if I don't go to the trial to support him that he will drink himself into a really bad situation while he's there. I love him deeply and (as a fellow alcoholic) I feel like it's my duty.
However, I am starting to recognize that this may be a huge lie I am telling myself. I have never been able to help him under NORMAL circumstances; why do I think I will be able to stop him from drinking during extremely stressful circumstances? Especially when I can't even keep myself sober.
I'm scared to just let go and let him make his own decisions/mistake because I fear where it will lead. However, I also don't think I'm in the position to stop him. I don't think anyone is...the most I could do is babysit him if he gets really bad. And I'm not sure that would be helpful to anybody involved.
I have been told that the best thing you can do for an alcoholic "is to get out of the way of his rock bottom."
Any advice greatly appreciated.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
When it comes to his alcoholism, remember the 3 Cs
you did not cause it
you cannot control it
you cannot cure it
Not sure if you are in aa but the first step in Al Anon which is for friends and family of alcoholic is
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
The same way that probably no one could have stopped you from drinking if you had made up your mind, no one can stop him.
I would suggest that you read a bit around the friends and family forum especially threads from newcomers to see how successful they have been at stopping their alcoholic loved ones from destroying themselves.
Right now you are in very early sobriety and you admit to struggling. Going on a rescue mission could put your own sobriety in jeopardy.
There is a saying: they'll get us drunk before we get them sober.
Even if you do not pick up, are you willing to buy a ticket to the crazy train?
you did not cause it
you cannot control it
you cannot cure it
Not sure if you are in aa but the first step in Al Anon which is for friends and family of alcoholic is
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
The same way that probably no one could have stopped you from drinking if you had made up your mind, no one can stop him.
I would suggest that you read a bit around the friends and family forum especially threads from newcomers to see how successful they have been at stopping their alcoholic loved ones from destroying themselves.
Right now you are in very early sobriety and you admit to struggling. Going on a rescue mission could put your own sobriety in jeopardy.
There is a saying: they'll get us drunk before we get them sober.
Even if you do not pick up, are you willing to buy a ticket to the crazy train?
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