Helping my loved one and myself
 

Good Morning I am new to this forum and I come here to learn, understand and begin to start my life without my best friend. I have been struggling for fifteen years addicted to my boyfriend. He is a good soul at times but is lost in his darkness which is overwhelming. I am not pure as I walked in his darkness filled with drugs and alcohol for ten years. I have managed through my strength and God to be sober for five years. Of course being a Mom and a nurturer I have lived the last five years trying to save my significant other. I have been to NA meetings and am extremely smart. I have read all the books, researched everything about alcohol and drug addiction but none of the books tell you how to get over your heart. Friday I gave him the I don't love you anymore and I want you to leave. He did!!! Of course he was a mess on alcohol, marijuana and cocaine. I know I did the right thing but I'm beating myself up because I didn't want to let him go this way. I wanted to talk to him and make him understand I love him but I love me too. Sooo here I am struggling with my heart. If anyone can help me try to give me suggestions on how to help me stay strong I would so appreciate it.
Thank you

Welcome to the Forum Mjbmjnc5!! :wave:

You'll find loads of support and advice here on SR!! Great to have you onboard!! :)

Welcome, mj, to SR. I am sorry for what brings you here.

Congratulations on five years of sobriety.

Welcome. If you have really made up your mind, I would suggest that you look after yourself first and if he decides to get back in touch whilst he is in a sober state (if at all possible) then you can explain things to him and perhaps part more amicably. If he isn't able to present himself to you in a clear-headed state then I would just stay no-contact - it become easier in time. You can't go on letting him drag you down. Look after you first xxxx

Hi Mjbmjnc5 - welcome :)

I found in my life that some loves, no matter how much I loved them, or how good they could be, they were toxic for me.

I think you've made a good decision, and I know you'll find a lot of support here.

D

I am sorry for what brings you here but want to welcome you to our global family. :hug: I think you're doing the right thing, even tho it hurts. You've got to look out for yourself. :hug: