39 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
39 days
I'm quite proud of myself tonight - and that's a very foreign feeling for me!
I'm at the end of day 39 now and things have been very up and down lately but tonight.. at least right now.. I'm happy to be sober and seeing some progress
Today-
I had a very long day at work and I tried hard to do well with the mountain of jobs that needed to be done, I didn't sulk or complain or make excuses I just got on with the job for once and wouldn't you know it, my work was praised and I was allowed to leave 30 mins before everyone else because I chose to work through lunch and this was appreciated (and you know i actually did the extra work because it needed to be done and I was honestly fine eating trail mix at my desk, not because I was being manipulative and just waiting for someone to notice how amaaaazing and hard working I am, which would be my usual mentality if i were to do anything beyond the necessities..)
This early minute made it much easier for me to get the 45 minute bus then 30 min walk in time to make my next appointment, an induction/briefing for volunteers for this upcoming festival - which was held in a pub of all places!!! I was nervous and there were lotsss of people (there's hundreds of volunteers) but I didn't drink, just bought a lemonade and chatted to some people, signed the forms and caught the bus home, cooked dinner for myself and a family member. That person was then pretty rude but I could see they were just tired so I didn't bite back, I had a shower got my work clothes for tomorrow and am in bed by 10.45
These do not sound like big things I know, but wow there is NO way I would have done these things/reacted in these ways and just been responsible and reasonable if I was still drinking. I would have slacked at work, possibly drank at an extra long lunch, spent too much on a cab instead of bus, drank at the pub for the volunteer induction probably making an ass of myself and been too drunk to eat dinner let alone cook it! , I probably would have picked a fight with family or manipulated them for sympathy then passed out in bed smelly and sick, slept a few hours then drank more while watching mindless tv until early morning and gone to work drunk if I showed up at all.
I'm trying so hard not to get complacent this time, I'm not looking for easier ways or thinking I know best. Im constantly having to check myself and ask if I'm doing the right thing. I know my thinking is faulty, I can still absolutely justify to myself why I should drink right now, but by sticking around here, going to meetings, being honest and putting real effort into this I feel like I'm doing better
Thank you for listening, I really appreciate having somewhere to express these things, silly though they might be!!
I'm at the end of day 39 now and things have been very up and down lately but tonight.. at least right now.. I'm happy to be sober and seeing some progress
Today-
I had a very long day at work and I tried hard to do well with the mountain of jobs that needed to be done, I didn't sulk or complain or make excuses I just got on with the job for once and wouldn't you know it, my work was praised and I was allowed to leave 30 mins before everyone else because I chose to work through lunch and this was appreciated (and you know i actually did the extra work because it needed to be done and I was honestly fine eating trail mix at my desk, not because I was being manipulative and just waiting for someone to notice how amaaaazing and hard working I am, which would be my usual mentality if i were to do anything beyond the necessities..)
This early minute made it much easier for me to get the 45 minute bus then 30 min walk in time to make my next appointment, an induction/briefing for volunteers for this upcoming festival - which was held in a pub of all places!!! I was nervous and there were lotsss of people (there's hundreds of volunteers) but I didn't drink, just bought a lemonade and chatted to some people, signed the forms and caught the bus home, cooked dinner for myself and a family member. That person was then pretty rude but I could see they were just tired so I didn't bite back, I had a shower got my work clothes for tomorrow and am in bed by 10.45
These do not sound like big things I know, but wow there is NO way I would have done these things/reacted in these ways and just been responsible and reasonable if I was still drinking. I would have slacked at work, possibly drank at an extra long lunch, spent too much on a cab instead of bus, drank at the pub for the volunteer induction probably making an ass of myself and been too drunk to eat dinner let alone cook it! , I probably would have picked a fight with family or manipulated them for sympathy then passed out in bed smelly and sick, slept a few hours then drank more while watching mindless tv until early morning and gone to work drunk if I showed up at all.
I'm trying so hard not to get complacent this time, I'm not looking for easier ways or thinking I know best. Im constantly having to check myself and ask if I'm doing the right thing. I know my thinking is faulty, I can still absolutely justify to myself why I should drink right now, but by sticking around here, going to meetings, being honest and putting real effort into this I feel like I'm doing better
Thank you for listening, I really appreciate having somewhere to express these things, silly though they might be!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hello:
DO NOT undermine your achievements. YES! All those "little things" are amazing steps YOU took, YOU are making it happen and making your life what YOU want it to be. Those things might seem small to some but this community knows better. Keep hanging out here, learning and working on your recovery. You are starting to get some time under your belt. Remember it will not be always easy but it will ALWAYS be possible.
Woohooooo!!!!
DO NOT undermine your achievements. YES! All those "little things" are amazing steps YOU took, YOU are making it happen and making your life what YOU want it to be. Those things might seem small to some but this community knows better. Keep hanging out here, learning and working on your recovery. You are starting to get some time under your belt. Remember it will not be always easy but it will ALWAYS be possible.
Woohooooo!!!!
long day today dreading a bit so trying to stay positive! 
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