thatdumbguy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
trachemys that is what I am worried about the shame the guild the lying the hate the judgement. Finally I realized just tell it like it is, I am not a good guy I did crazy things I lied to a lot of people that really cared and that weighed on my conscience, but finally I realized I am not the only addict thats ever lied and If I out myself others will know they aren't alone. On that note if you are suicidal, thinking about suicide are alone or don't know contact 1 (800) 273-8255, do not ever think for any circumstance you aren't worth it or have done the unforgivable. F@#$ it get help, I know it hurts so bad and it feels like nothing matters but get help.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
No arm done Jeremy, we all make mistakes in life.
If you are lonely, why not join the weekend thread, use the Chat, start casual threads?
Now back to business, how can we help and what is your plan?? If you don't plan on getting better, just be honest and say it please. I'll take part in your casual threads gladly, but when we talk recovery and help, let's be action oriented please.
If you are lonely, why not join the weekend thread, use the Chat, start casual threads?
Now back to business, how can we help and what is your plan?? If you don't plan on getting better, just be honest and say it please. I'll take part in your casual threads gladly, but when we talk recovery and help, let's be action oriented please.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
This is part of what I meant, Jeremy, when I wrote that it seems as though you're narrating and commenting on someone else's life, but never acting on it. We're generally much more transparent than we imagine, but it's not always appropriate or helpful to focus on our flaws or misgivings. You need to take this seriously. For example, have you ever wondered why it is that you chose the signature "Attack the argument! Not the person!" Nobody here has provided evidence that we/they have a desire to attack you; the impetus or motivation for aggression comes from within yourself. None of us can change that. No matter how much and what kinds of support you receive (and regardless of the circumstances in which you pull for it), it's up to you how you go about living your life.
When our presentation is counterfeit, then the care, concern and support we get feels equally false and, ultimately, empty, and only makes our suffering that much more difficult to bear. I lose absolutely nothing by supporting a phantom -- patients in therapy lie all the time, usually out of fear -- but the long term-effects of the path you've chosen have proved time and again to be extremely destructive for you.
If you engage other parts of your life in this way, how can you expect to have a secure attachment with your own being? What does progress or healing even mean for you? The false realities in which you live due to your mental health issues, your alcohol and drug use, your gambling and your admittedly premeditated fabrications are killing you while the rest of us continue to go about living our lives.
No one here believes that you want to live in such relentless and excruciating pain. But you do at times make it difficult to believe that you're willing to take the necessary steps to get to a better place. Again, much like your avatar, you stay frozen in thought and frozen in time. Even if your avatar wanted to act, it can't. It's a statue, a myth, an idea that was never meant to act, and couldn't do so even if it wanted to. It's essence is describe and limited by it's title, "The Thinker."
I don't know anymore what it means when you insist that you're "trying," and I still don't have anything else to say besides long-term inpatient treatment.
When our presentation is counterfeit, then the care, concern and support we get feels equally false and, ultimately, empty, and only makes our suffering that much more difficult to bear. I lose absolutely nothing by supporting a phantom -- patients in therapy lie all the time, usually out of fear -- but the long term-effects of the path you've chosen have proved time and again to be extremely destructive for you.
If you engage other parts of your life in this way, how can you expect to have a secure attachment with your own being? What does progress or healing even mean for you? The false realities in which you live due to your mental health issues, your alcohol and drug use, your gambling and your admittedly premeditated fabrications are killing you while the rest of us continue to go about living our lives.
No one here believes that you want to live in such relentless and excruciating pain. But you do at times make it difficult to believe that you're willing to take the necessary steps to get to a better place. Again, much like your avatar, you stay frozen in thought and frozen in time. Even if your avatar wanted to act, it can't. It's a statue, a myth, an idea that was never meant to act, and couldn't do so even if it wanted to. It's essence is describe and limited by it's title, "The Thinker."
I don't know anymore what it means when you insist that you're "trying," and I still don't have anything else to say besides long-term inpatient treatment.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
What's really, really inportant here TDG is that you come clean with yourself and get into treatment. Coming clean about your story is an honorable thing, but it doesn't get you into rehab. We've heard you say that you were absolutely going to seek treatment before, but you never have. What is going to be different this time?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
TDG,
Getting sober is about being open, honest and real. Thanks for your honesty. Now all you need be is open and willing and put your trust in something real. You've just taken a first small step that is big in my mind. Don't Disappoint us but most of all don't disappoint yourself. Welcome back my Friend!
Getting sober is about being open, honest and real. Thanks for your honesty. Now all you need be is open and willing and put your trust in something real. You've just taken a first small step that is big in my mind. Don't Disappoint us but most of all don't disappoint yourself. Welcome back my Friend!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 246
If you want to make amends here there is only one thing everyone wants and that is for you to post that you have called inpatient and have an exact time that you are going in. And as for loneliness and just wanting to talk to anyone? I will admit i havent been to rehab but im guessing there are lots of people and tons of talking.
A bunch of threads/posts about how and why you lied could take up days if you make it, there is just one thing you need to do. Please, okay?
A bunch of threads/posts about how and why you lied could take up days if you make it, there is just one thing you need to do. Please, okay?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
It is great that you are here, I think you know we care about you.
I know I have told you in the past how much I loved rehab but I want to tell you again.
I needed attention as well, I needed to learn that I mattered.
I got a lot of attention when I went to long term rehab...good attention, positive attention.
I learned so much, A lot I didn't realize how important it was at the time....stuff that I would use for the rest of my life.
A lot of stuff would wash over me only to resurface years later when I was ready to implement it.
I got some balance back....a better mindset and a good shifting perspective.
The attention I got was holistic and engaging. Rehab is all about you. It is a good thing.
I can't imagine a better time or a more worthwhile person than you.
You said that rehab is still on the cards. Have you got a social worker or can you make it happen?
I know I have told you in the past how much I loved rehab but I want to tell you again.
I needed attention as well, I needed to learn that I mattered.
I got a lot of attention when I went to long term rehab...good attention, positive attention.
I learned so much, A lot I didn't realize how important it was at the time....stuff that I would use for the rest of my life.
A lot of stuff would wash over me only to resurface years later when I was ready to implement it.
I got some balance back....a better mindset and a good shifting perspective.
The attention I got was holistic and engaging. Rehab is all about you. It is a good thing.
I can't imagine a better time or a more worthwhile person than you.
You said that rehab is still on the cards. Have you got a social worker or can you make it happen?
TDG
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: midwest
Posts: 484
Believe it or not you are in control! The past is the past.. leave it there..
We are on earth to learn.. we all make mistakes but if we get snagged on them we cannot learn from them. If you quit drinking you can begin rebuilding you life.
You can create any life you want!
We are on earth to learn.. we all make mistakes but if we get snagged on them we cannot learn from them. If you quit drinking you can begin rebuilding you life.
You can create any life you want!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy 
and that is it. Say what you want disconnect if you feel the need. Or have some compassion and realize that I am very human and made a huge mistake because I wanted friends and to talk to anyone negative or positive. If that bothers you, I am very sorry. I didn't want to hurt anyone, I started telling a story then it got bigger and bigger and then you have to continue.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
TDG, glad to see you are still alive and kicking. I can only speak for myself, but I am personally terrified of this disease. I don't want it to kill you OR me. It wants us both dead.
WHO CARES what people on here thing of you. (I know, easier said than done). When YOU start liking yourself, and I start liking myself again...what others think won't matter! You aren't alone. Put the stick down and stop hitting yourself over the head with it.
When I drink, I lie and do LOTS of other things I am ashamed of. When I'm sober I don't do those things. Alcohol is evil!
Move forward. Look in the mirror and forgive Jeremy. We are not bad people trying to get good, we are sick people trying to get well.
I'm not giving up, are you? NO you aren't! You've got this!!! WE'VE got this!!!
WHO CARES what people on here thing of you. (I know, easier said than done). When YOU start liking yourself, and I start liking myself again...what others think won't matter! You aren't alone. Put the stick down and stop hitting yourself over the head with it.
When I drink, I lie and do LOTS of other things I am ashamed of. When I'm sober I don't do those things. Alcohol is evil!
Move forward. Look in the mirror and forgive Jeremy. We are not bad people trying to get good, we are sick people trying to get well.
I'm not giving up, are you? NO you aren't! You've got this!!! WE'VE got this!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
This is part of what I meant, Jeremy, when I wrote that it seems as though you're narrating and commenting on someone else's life, but never acting on it. We're generally much more transparent than we imagine, but it's not always appropriate or helpful to focus on our flaws or misgivings. You need to take this seriously. For example, have you ever wondered why it is that you chose the signature "Attack the argument! Not the person!" Nobody here has provided evidence that we/they have a desire to attack you; the impetus or motivation for aggression comes from within yourself. None of us can change that. No matter how much and what kinds of support you receive (and regardless of the circumstances in which you pull for it), it's up to you how you go about living your life.
When our presentation is counterfeit, then the care, concern and support we get feels equally false and, ultimately, empty, and only makes our suffering that much more difficult to bear. I lose absolutely nothing by supporting a phantom -- patients in therapy lie all the time, usually out of fear -- but the long term-effects of the path you've chosen have proved time and again to be extremely destructive for you.
If you engage other parts of your life in this way, how can you expect to have a secure attachment with your own being? What does progress or healing even mean for you? The false realities in which you live due to your mental health issues, your alcohol and drug use, your gambling and your admittedly premeditated fabrications are killing you while the rest of us continue to go about living our lives.
No one here believes that you want to live in such relentless and excruciating pain. But you do at times make it difficult to believe that you're willing to take the necessary steps to get to a better place. Again, much like your avatar, you stay frozen in thought and frozen in time. Even if your avatar wanted to act, it can't. It's a statue, a myth, an idea that was never meant to act, and couldn't do so even if it wanted to. It's essence is describe and limited by it's title, "The Thinker."
I don't know anymore what it means when you insist that you're "trying," and I still don't have anything else to say besides long-term inpatient treatment.
When our presentation is counterfeit, then the care, concern and support we get feels equally false and, ultimately, empty, and only makes our suffering that much more difficult to bear. I lose absolutely nothing by supporting a phantom -- patients in therapy lie all the time, usually out of fear -- but the long term-effects of the path you've chosen have proved time and again to be extremely destructive for you.
If you engage other parts of your life in this way, how can you expect to have a secure attachment with your own being? What does progress or healing even mean for you? The false realities in which you live due to your mental health issues, your alcohol and drug use, your gambling and your admittedly premeditated fabrications are killing you while the rest of us continue to go about living our lives.
No one here believes that you want to live in such relentless and excruciating pain. But you do at times make it difficult to believe that you're willing to take the necessary steps to get to a better place. Again, much like your avatar, you stay frozen in thought and frozen in time. Even if your avatar wanted to act, it can't. It's a statue, a myth, an idea that was never meant to act, and couldn't do so even if it wanted to. It's essence is describe and limited by it's title, "The Thinker."
I don't know anymore what it means when you insist that you're "trying," and I still don't have anything else to say besides long-term inpatient treatment.
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